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Milonga dildo commotion

Started by machotrouts, June 02, 2019, 04:30:28 AM

Previous topic - Next topic

Cuellar

Is that a joke dildo like those lapel flowers that squirt water at people?

weekender

Quote from: machotrouts on June 09, 2019, 01:37:59 AM
Also, my mum's driving me to tango this week, what do you want me to do, wind down the window and hurl the fucking dildo out at the pavement? Get my mum arrested for facilitating sex crimes? Is that what you bastards FUCKING want?

Oh I don't think so, that sounds a bit boring.

What I think I want you to do is write an alternative dimension type story, a bit like that Sliding Doors film but not shit.

So, instead of your step-dad or your mum driving you to random dance classes ("Milonga this week is it?  You'll be seeing the anal man then" says step-dad; "Tango" this week is it says Mum, who was with you in the room when you both watched Requiem For A Dream until the end), I want something else.

So, we now have at least two people who own your bag of dildos for a bit, so let's think Thanos here (I work in an office, and am trying to get the phrase "Let's Think Thanos" introduced to office parlance.  I don't know what it means yet, but that's less important than the act of coining a phrase).

Anyway, who's this in the car coming to give you a lift home as you finish the dance class?  It's your step-mom.  Only in this scenario she has decided to open the bag out of curiosity whilst waiting for you, and she's found the dildos.

She decides to try one of them out discreetly in a car park while you've made it back to the milonga class.  She's still going at it when you return.

"Step-mom!" you enquire, "What are you doing?".

"Well, there were such a lot of them it seemed like you couldn't possibly use them all" she purrs seductively.  She speaks some more:

"Why has this one got what looks like a smaller dildo on the other side of the bit that's more cock-shaped?  Maybe you should show me what they can all do?"

She winks at you when she says the words "all do".  Your response is:

"Before you do though, we'll need to nip to Poundland to get approximately 60 AA batteries and some Fray Bentos pies for later, I hope you don't mind".

"Of course not" you say.  "Maybe we could even somehow introduce the Fray Bentos trays as arse-slapping utensils once we've finished the pies".

"Maybe" says your step-mom.  "By the way, have you ever tried emptying the meat of a Fray Bentos meat pie into two slices of bread, thus making some sort of messy but delicious sandwich?"

"Can't say I have" you say "but I'm willing to try doing this in the bath, and we can see what happens either before *or* after we're covered in gravy".



The rest of it should write itself from there, so if you could carry writing the story that would be nice of you, thanks for asking.

idunnosomename

Ah yes I see them now.

Beautiful.

kittens

aren't you damaging your camera by covering it in fake jism? actually knowing you it's probably a sex camera specifically designed to be rammed places and covered in things. take a snapshot of my prostate you bitch. yeah babe use the rule of thirds and artfully frame my anus. go on give me a full colonoscopy, let me see what i ate for dinner

https://metro.co.uk/2019/10/15/lost-massive-bag-dildos-found-somerset-10919383/

"Residents in a town in Somerset have been left shaken after a bag of sex toys was discovered dumped at the side of the road."



bgmnts

QuoteThere was a buzz about the town of Bridgwater as people tried to work out who they belonged to.

QuoteRichard Lees took a picture of the abandoned sex toys but nobody has cum forward to admit to owning them.


Johnny Yesno


backdrifter

Those gifs could really use some nsfw warnings.

That aside, I admire your courage (and balls).