Cuisine Gamechangers

[Sebastian Cobb]

Mr Vikki's make some good indian chutneys, pickles and pastes.

I don't know how easy to get they are as my parents usually get them from a farm shop in Tebay or something when they're on their way up.

[Voltan (Man of Steel)]

Smearing isn't very haute cuisine is it? You should be drizzling

I prefer rustic, peasant dishes where smearing, smashing and squirting are commonly employed.

[Paul Calf]

I went to dinner at a big Dutchman's house.  He knew I was a vegetarian, so made me a special, fucking enormous, very wet omelette filled with dead prawns.  I mean, prawns and eggs anyway, wet, vegetarian.  Get to fuck.

What Dutch people don't know about food is a lot.

[Jittlebags]

I prefer rustic, peasant dishes where smearing, smashing and squirting are commonly employed.

That sounds more like a dirty protest to be honest.

[Voltan (Man of Steel)]

Apparently quite a few restaurants just give you Patak's pickle on the table because it's that good that they don't feel the need to make their own. I read about it in a study that I've just made up.

Can confirm. I've seen catering jars of Patak's pickles (sauces and pastes) in many Indian* restaurant kitchens over the years.

*Bangladeshi/Sylheti

[Danger Man]

Started using anchovy paste Knorr Stock Pots instead of salt.

[Voltan (Man of Steel)]

That sounds more like a dirty protest to be honest.

They're all dirty protests when I've...

[Jittlebags]

What Dutch people don't know about food is a lot.

I find that if you prefix something with 'Dutch' it generally becomes a bit more unpleasant -  a Dutch Bed-bath being a case in point.

[Buelligan]

And of course, the unforgettable, Dutch oven-cooked biscuits.

[Voltan (Man of Steel)]

Can be a little sulphurous I'd imagine.

[Jittlebags]

Robust, if you wanted to be rustic!

[TrenterPercenter]

May I take this conversation in a slightly different direction?

PRESSURE COOKER

100% this is were it is at - ULTIMATE GAME CHANGER

[Sebastian Cobb]

I've had some simmering rings arrive today, seeing as it's relevant.

[Elderly Sumo Prophecy]

They've all got simmering etc etc.

[pancreas]

.

[TrenterPercenter]

Also stop buying Hummus.  Make your own its ridiculously easy, much cheaper and tastier as long as you a) have food processor and b) use the secret Trenter-hummus-tip I am about to type on this here page for you.

The secret:

put your tahini (not too much or you'll make it bitter) and lemon juice in the processor first.  Blitz.  use a spatula/spoon to push it into the middle so it can be blitzed again. Blitz.  do this again.

That is it.  The rest is just put in cumin, chick peas, bit of olive oil, and then use the water from the can of chick peas to make the consistency you want.

It costs about a £1 to make a big bowl full (tahini can be a bit expensive but buy a big cheap brand with lots of foreign letters on it and it will last for a year, you'll make your money back 20 fold).

[Elderly Sumo Prophecy]

.

Did I get there before you?

[Jittlebags]

Also stop buying Hummus.  Make your own its ridiculously easy, much cheaper and tastier as long as you a) have food processor and b) use the secret Trenter-hummus-tip I am about to type on this here page for you.

And you could split it into portions and flavour accordingly. Caramelised onion, chilli,  liquorice etc.

I imagine there's an entire universe of discovery waiting out there just blending stuff with hummus.

[pancreas]

Did I get there before you?

Yes.

Trenter: the main smoothness bottleneck is in the chickpea skins. You can either rub them off with a teatowel, or dissolve them using a bit of bicarb. Here recipe here:

https://www.epicurious.com/recipes/member/views/-yotam-ottolenghi-sami-tamimis-basic-hummus-52427391

[Voltan (Man of Steel)]

I just add sesame oil and Jif to Polyfilla.

[TrenterPercenter]

Everyone who was bigging up slow cookers a few years ago seems to be bigging these up now.

Slow cookers are largely pointless (unless you want to go out and leave something cooking for ages), pressure cookers achieve the same result but quicker.

The one i've got is a pressure cooker, rice cooker, slow cooker, soup maker, steamer.  It's all nonsense you don't need anything but a pressure cooker.

Now that isn't the whole game changer though, the game changer is what you do after you have pressure cooked something i.e. you can make amazing ribs that would usually take you 3-4 hrs in 35 minutes (about 20 mins in the PC then glaze and grill for 15) or Goat Curry usually a couple of hours in 30 mins (this time its the other way round you brown everything in a pan - i've got a saute function but its just a bit awkward - then stick it in the PC.

the other functions are largely redundant though I would say:

Other game changer: Cheapo bamboo steamer towers

great for steaming veggies - forget about boiling them this will do it in less time which a much improved taste.

[TrenterPercenter]

Yes.

Trenter: the main smoothness bottleneck is in the chickpea skins. You can either rub them off with a teatowel, or dissolve them using a bit of bicarb. Here recipe here:

https://www.epicurious.com/recipes/member/views/-yotam-ottolenghi-sami-tamimis-basic-hummus-52427391

It's is not, and you should know better than to not trust me on such matters Pancs. 

It is because of the reaction between the acid acting as an emulsifier on the tahini - try it - don't listen to this Yotam fella he is talking out of his Ottolenghi.

Skins are only a concern if you are using dried chick peas, the canning process makes them almost undetectable.

[TrenterPercenter]

A tablespoon of black treakle and some fresh corrriander in the last 5 minutes is a game changer.

This was for chilli right.

Well i've had a shit day where my boss has literally just stolen a years load of work from and passed it off as her own (much to the applause of those that don't know and disgust of those that do) so I'll give away my secret chilli game changer (for the love of CAB).

The secret is raisins.

Get some dried chillis (look up holy trinity but whatever really), cut them up de-seed (if you want) and toast.  Then put them in jug with stock and a big handful of raisins.  Put it in the microwave for 1 minute.  Take it out blend.  Tip it in pan heat it until the oil seperates.  That is your base sauce.  Do what you like from here (obviously cumin, oregano but all your other tweeks yes) it will always taste awesome.


Another good secret for black treacle is smearing it on bacon.

[Sebastian Cobb]

Yes.

Trenter: the main smoothness bottleneck is in the chickpea skins. You can either rub them off with a teatowel, or dissolve them using a bit of bicarb. Here recipe here:

https://www.epicurious.com/recipes/member/views/-yotam-ottolenghi-sami-tamimis-basic-hummus-52427391

If you buy the dried ones, soak them properly and simmer them, they're kind of falling off anyway.

[mrpupkin]

Salt & Linekar

[ZoyzaSorris]

Having a transient anus - which means that my anus appears only when I need to defecate and disappears after the act. There is no permanent connection between my gut and the rear of the body. Instead, as waste accumulates, part of my gut starts to balloon out until it touches the outer layer, or epidermis. My gut then fuses with the epidermis, forming an anal opening. Once excretion is complete, the process is reversed and my anus vanishes.

Really handy when you've eaten too many Pataks pickles.

[ZoyzaSorris]

That's just a fact about sea walnuts I just learnt and this was the first thread I thought I'd try to half-heartedly shoehorn it into.

I'm on a sea walnut diet. When I see sea walnuts, I eat them.

[seepage]

I think I only really like sausages. And cheese. Put one in the other and you've got the Käsekrainer, and probably the route to an early grave.

[Twit 2]

Got a maiden to shovel food up my Gareth. Haven't looked back.

[idunnosomename]

you can freeze tinned pulses (chickpeas, butterbeans) then use them like frozen peas