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The Cook Report (And Other Relics From The Age of Crusading Journalism)

Started by Pepotamo1985, June 05, 2019, 10:45:09 PM

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Pepotamo1985

I've been obsessed with The Cook Report all my life, but I only just realised it.

I watched it religiously when I were a nipper, but completely forgot about the show entirely until it popped into my head the other day for no apparent reason and now I can't stop watching the (very few) episodes of it available on YouTube.

Fans?

BlodwynPig


paruses

I loved it when it was airing but was never really allowed to watch it. I must have been about 13 or 14 sand was fascinated by it. When I lived in Southend years later I was astonished that the fact that their kebab wars had been investigated by Roger Cook was met indifference.

Anyone seen the paedo one? That is especially mental. Like, really mental - he makes the man burn the indecent images and apologise (from memory). Will try and dig it out when I'm not about to fall asleep.

paruses

Is he dead now? I think he might be. I could look it up but really am on the edge of sleep. Really looking forward to waking up to a 5 page thread on this. Come on gang!

Pepotamo1985

No he isn't, he's still going strong.

Is this the one you're talking about? https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EkQ0EQLmO4w&

Whether no or yes, the section where he confronts the naughty films purveyor about his sale of child pornography is sheer liquid wonderment, I've rewatched it a great many times. The way he stentoriously storms into the shop, calmly but self-righteously 'stings' the creep behind the desk, then refuses to leave despite them attacking him with blunt objects ("put that down!" he orders them, like an authoritarian teacher, or exasperated parent), velvety narration informing viewers "our departure was encouraged by the strategic application of a billiard cue and lighted cigar" is utterly enrapturing. They don't make chaps like Rog any more.


paruses

Yes that's the one. Fucking mental is the only way to describe it. I can't watch it as a whole - have to detach myself from the subject and watch it for the sheer entertainment value or invest in the subject and watch it.

Had forgotten the "in my shop?" guy at the beginning. Am sure he's a LoG inspiration on some form or another.

And those post credits couple of minutes are horrendous.

The destruction of evidence bit kicks in at about 26 minutes. Astonishing.

Love how I'm the opening credits he gets slower and slower running up the stairs.

Really have got to sleep now but thanks for starting the thread.

Lisa Jesusandmarychain

" In * my* shop? With *my* reputation?  The former singer with Buggies? "
The shop owner turning up and almost immediately tea twatting Roger Cook, and saying , on camera , " I'll collect some people , and they will kill you all." didnae really do himself any favours, either.

imitationleather

When I was at Goldsmiths I remember they had a load of episodes of The Cook Report on DVD in the library. I kept thinking "Oooh, I'll get that out one day" but I never did and now I don't go to Goldsmiths anymore so can't. Bah.

paruses

Quote from: Pepotamo1985 on June 05, 2019, 11:23:48 PM


Is this the one you're talking about? https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EkQ0EQLmO4w&


Just to act like a vaguely responsible person - a warning before you click that that episode features actual footage from child pornography tapes.


Pepotamo1985

Quote from: imitationleather on June 06, 2019, 06:10:13 AM
When I was at Goldsmiths I remember they had a load of episodes of The Cook Report on DVD in the library. I kept thinking "Oooh, I'll get that out one day" but I never did and now I don't go to Goldsmiths anymore so can't. Bah.

That's really interesting - I wonder if there's a way of getting at them. Cook explains in this interview https://youtu.be/VX7pliNE2_E (which is well worth listening to - sounds like a top bloke) he had the masters of all the episodes stored in 'Iron Mountain', an allegedly high security facility which burnt down in...potentially strange circumstances, meaning the stuff on YouTube is all that's available.

jobotic

Quote from: Pepotamo1985 on June 05, 2019, 11:23:48 PM
No he isn't, he's still going strong.

Is this the one you're talking about? https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EkQ0EQLmO4w&

Whether no or yes, the section where he confronts the naughty films purveyor about his sale of child pornography is sheer liquid wonderment, I've rewatched it a great many times. The way he stentoriously storms into the shop, calmly but self-righteously 'stings' the creep behind the desk, then refuses to leave despite them attacking him with blunt objects ("put that down!" he orders them, like an authoritarian teacher, or exasperated parent), velvety narration informing viewers "our departure was encouraged by the strategic application of a billiard cue and lighted cigar" is utterly enrapturing. They don't make chaps like Rog any more.

Can you timestamp (or whatever its called ) that bit so I don't have to watch the rest?



sevendaughters

there's a classic one about protection rackets in Salford where he opens a dummy pub to entrap a gang, just absolutely amazing.

Rizla

Yeah the dummy pub one was awesome. The BNP/Nick Griffin one's an interesting watch, given the current climate https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=i00Y7LGXdpk

imitationleather

Quote from: Pepotamo1985 on June 06, 2019, 11:21:03 AM
That's really interesting - I wonder if there's a way of getting at them. Cook explains in this interview https://youtu.be/VX7pliNE2_E (which is well worth listening to - sounds like a top bloke) he had the masters of all the episodes stored in 'Iron Mountain', an allegedly high security facility which burnt down in...potentially strange circumstances, meaning the stuff on YouTube is all that's available.

Like a lot of their DVDs of interesting archive telly, I think they were taped from the original broadcast and then transferred to DVD years later.

Pepotamo1985

Oh yes I knew exactly what you meant - my (laughably shit state) college had an absolute goldmine of VHS/TV transfers on DVD, amazing documentaries shown once on BBC etc. They miraculously ended up disappearing...

My point was more that if they're available, it'd be a fantastic service to get them copied. This was a groundbreaking, landmark show the likes of which haven't been seen since (well, there's BBC's Rogue Traders which is about as entertaining and insightful as breaking your jaw on a doorframe).

Pepotamo1985

Quote from: imitationleather on June 06, 2019, 06:10:13 AM
When I was at Goldsmiths I remember they had a load of episodes of The Cook Report on DVD in the library. I kept thinking "Oooh, I'll get that out one day" but I never did and now I don't go to Goldsmiths anymore so can't. Bah.

This has played on my mind so much I've emailed the Uni and asked them to hand them over. Also suggested they reunite Rog with them as a PR stunt. Let's see if they bite.

Gurke and Hare

The bit where the customer in the shop clocks the camera and visibly shits himself is wonderful.

Shoulders?-Stomach!

Amazing watch, compare that to the pathetic efforts made my Panorama these days.

I also liked how Cook made the superintendent look like an clueless fool by presenting evidence and list of contacts his own department had failed to muster, most embarrassingly the US customs one.

Some of the presentation and crass attempts at emotional manipulation were clearly source material for Brass Eye.


Jockice

Quote from: Rizla on June 06, 2019, 02:21:35 PM
Yeah the dummy pub one was awesome. The BNP/Nick Griffin one's an interesting watch, given the current climate https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=i00Y7LGXdpk

It wasn't the Cook Report but there was a thing in the early 80s where a bloke who was high up in the BNP did a secretly-filmed documentary about them and had to change his identity. I can vaguely remember watching it and a few years later picked up his autobiography. I also interviewed him when he was at an anti-racist meeting at the local university but I can't remember his name now. I think it may have been Ray or Greg but I'm not sure. Does anyone know what I'm talking about here?

Jockice

About 30 seconds after I posted it I remembered. Ray Hill. The Other Face Of Terror. Here is is. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lzEG1njUfH0

Pepotamo1985

Quote from: Shoulders?-Stomach! on August 20, 2019, 08:12:21 PM
Some of the presentation and crass attempts at emotional manipulation were clearly source material for Brass Eye.

I don't think there's any question about that, the ecstasy episode may as well be 'Drugs'. Lots of Ted Maul's mannerisms remind me of Cook's as well, such as the somewhat deflated sideways look he gives the camera when Chob slams the caravan door in his face.

Interesting tidbit from the comment section on another video - apparently while researching/filming the ecstasy episode Cookie attended a rave/club and asked lots of attendees about whether they took ecstasy and where he could get some (on camera, of course). A commenter said at first he and his mates took the piss out of Cook but very quickly warmed to him and by the end of the evening 'Nemesis in a leisure shirt' was throwing shapes and boogying with the best of them. He does seem to be an absolute diamond bloke, a perfect mix of self-deprecating good humour and surging self-righteousness, although this episode is an absolutely peak example of journalistic malpractice - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UNmyIWgfHWo.

Funnily enough I remember that airing at the time, literally photographic, verbatim memory. The portion where Cook challenged him on what TV programs he'd seen that day in particular for some reason. I was eight. This is what I meant when I said I've been obsessed with The Cook Report all my life, but only just realised it in the OP.

imitationleather

I watched that Colin Stagg episode the other day and couldn't really believe what I was seeing. Soured how much I'd enjoyed him going after Glaswegian loan sharks just beforehand.


paruses

Quote from: Jockice on August 22, 2019, 11:31:28 AM
Did you hit him? It was crap when nobody hit him.

I always loved his playground defensive posture - that sort of pivot with a raised leg to protect your nuts that then opened you up to a deadleg. That's what proper martial arts should be.

Has anyone got a link to the Southend Kebab wars episode? I assume I'm not conflating two investigative journalists.

monkfromhavana

Quote from: Pepotamo1985 on August 20, 2019, 05:27:26 PM
This has played on my mind so much I've emailed the Uni and asked them to hand them over. Also suggested they reunite Rog with them as a PR stunt. Let's see if they bite.

Have they replied yet?

Pepotamo1985

Disappointingly they seem to have been lost forever, as Goldsmiths went through a process of digitising then dumping its DVD collection and the people responsible allegedly weren't particularly thorough. They were super nice and went to enormous efforts to help me though, to the extent of putting me in touch with a TV series curation service which does have some episodes, albeit only five. Am in talks now to get my hands on them. Still, super, super sad - some of the episodes Cook talks about in that interview I linked to earlier (particularly the Hillsborough and black market nuke investigations) sound fucking amazing. There really is nothing like it on TV and never will be again. Were there any remotely comparable shows at the time even?!

monkfromhavana

Hopefully they turn up on VHS at a carboot or in a charity shop.