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March 28, 2024, 03:13:47 PM

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Shit year.

Started by RossFromFriends, June 06, 2019, 04:23:58 PM

Previous topic - Next topic

samadriel

Nah, that's stupid. Heroin, that's what you're after!

Edit: new page heroin!

Ferris

Chinese takeout, bottle of brandy.

phes

#152
I think you saw former Aston Villa footballer Thomasz 'The Hammer' Hitzlesberger in the punt and although he is the only premier league footballer to publically out himself as one of these dreadful gays, he was taking time out from his busy schedule of sexing men to make Deep Deep Premier-League Hammer Love to your former partner, in the punt, on the river 

Why deactivate your tinder profile. Are you mad!

PS

Congrats on the dating success. A new life awaits you in the digital colony...

imitationleather

If she doesn't put out on the second date she's definitely just trying to look cool in front of her mates by getting to hang out with the snake guy from the papers.

zomgmouse

Basil from Fawlty Towers hated his wife

FML.

So the date I had... from what they've said they're trans*. My wife was basically my first, and she is a lesbian. I don't think it's transphobic that my ego is a bit obliterated. I just want a hetereosexual woman to be attracted to me. I'm 38 years old and that's never happened.

*(there's a small chance they're using this as a friend/fucker test - but it ties in well with a few previous oddities**)
(** e.g. they spend most of their evenings on grindr for dick pics)

Mr_Simnock

QuoteI just want a hetereosexual woman to be attracted to me. I'm 38 years old and that's never happened.

Oh it probably has happened, you just weren't aware of it when it occurred.

imitationleather

Quote from: RossFromFriends on July 25, 2019, 11:26:27 PM
FML.

So the date I had... from what they've said they're trans*. My wife was basically my first, and she is a lesbian. I don't think it's transphobic that my ego is a bit obliterated. I just want a hetereosexual woman to be attracted to me. I'm 38 years old and that's never happened.

*(there's a small chance they're using this as a friend/fucker test - but it ties in well with a few previous oddities**)
(** e.g. they spend most of their evenings on grindr for dick pics)

Just for clarification: Did you not realise they were trans when you were having a good time and liking them? Because if that's the case then I say to heck with it, tuck in!

Birdie

This was a roller coaster ride.  Heart break to first date in a month. 

*bump*

Bronzy

Maybe she's just from Iran?

José

just stfu and tonguepunch her fartbox. jesus fucking christ.


An update since some people seem to be interested.

Quote from: Birdie on August 19, 2019, 02:29:38 AM
This was a roller coaster ride.  Heart break to first date in a month. 

*bump*

This all started at the beginning of the year, and me posting here was really the beginning of me reaching some level of acceptance.

So the second woman I met off tinder is going better. She's Russian and I have the very English problem of not knowing how to pronounce her name, and it's rapidly getting too late to ask. Had a second date with her on Saturday, and I got to kiss someone different for the first time in two decades. I also, uhhh, confirmed that they aren't trans. Got beeped at by a passing taxi.

Which brings up a problem - she has her kids pretty much all the time, one off whom is a teenager, and I have kids and ex in my house pretty much all the time too. So we don't have anywhere private, beyond the backseat of her car or maybe a hotel room occasionally. Hmmm.

I have a couple of irons off tinder too. One, a dog walker arranged a date during the day with on Saturday but she cancelled in the morning. Then she drunkenly phoned me on Monday telling me about how she'd just broken up (like that day) with her boyfriend. They've had brain surgery for cancer back in December and radiotherapy this year and are unsurprisingly a bit of an emotional wreck at the moment. I don't want to drop them for that but I don't think another boyfriend is what they need at the moment.

Other is in a very similar position to me - cohabiting with husband, although they'd rather not be, but forced to by finances. They work in the same profession as me. Her kids are younger though. Just keeping a low level of chat going with them though, as not really sure I want to do the multi-dating thing.

Relationship with ex... difficult, still working things out. I'll save it for my therapist.

Don't see the "sex in cars" thing as a problem. I found it quite a good outlet to be doing something so irresponsibly "teenage" after devoting so long to being a proper grown up with nappies and bills and such, especially if the other person is in a similar position.

imitationleather

At his age I think having sex in a car could seriously put his back out.

Sebastian Cobb

Really as a successful adult you should be able to rent a hotel, or at least a van.

Golden E. Pump

My advice is to get a weed dealer and try and fuck everything that moves when you're not high.

Ambient Sheep

Quote from: RossFromFriends on August 21, 2019, 10:19:38 AMAn update since some people seem to be interested.

Always interested.  Thanks for the update.  Hope your continuing adventures go well for you.

Bennett Brauer


Birdie

Quote from: Golden E. Pump on August 22, 2019, 12:01:58 AM
My advice is to get a weed dealer and try and fuck everything that moves when you're not high.

Worked for me👍

Shoulders?-Stomach!

Quote from: imitationleather on August 21, 2019, 06:14:04 PM
At his age I think having sex in a car could seriously put his back out.

Livin La Vida Loca

Well, did the car thing. Not actual sex as we thought should save that, but made a mess. Simultaneous with hands, which is a new one to me.

You know what kind of women are hot in bed? Heterosexual ones. I'm nearly 40 years old and only just worked that out.

She was wondering when I was going to ask her how to say her name. She was amused, no one English can say her name, so she has an English abbreviation - Nia. When I try and say her name all the constanants end up hard in a way they don't when she says it.

Booking a hotel this week.

bgmnts

I recently was sent an image by a lady with an apple in her vagina. I still do not know the type of apple at this moment in time.

Is her last name Miss?

All the very best with it Blod mate.

Sebastian Cobb

Quote from: bgmnts on August 23, 2019, 10:43:59 PM
I recently was sent an image by a lady with an apple in her vagina. I still do not know the type of apple at this moment in time.

jazz apple i reckon

imitationleather


gib

Quote from: RossFromFriends on August 23, 2019, 10:41:35 PM
Well, did the car thing. Not actual sex as we thought should save that, but made a mess. Simultaneous with hands, which is a new one to me.

You know what kind of women are hot in bed? Heterosexual ones. I'm nearly 40 years old and only just worked that out.

She was wondering when I was going to ask her how to say her name. She was amused, no one English can say her name, so she has an English abbreviation - Nia. When I try and say her name all the constanants end up hard in a way they don't when she says it.

Booking a hotel this week.

safety wank beforehand or you're going to boil over like a pan of milk.

Ambient Sheep

Quote from: RossFromFriends on August 23, 2019, 10:41:35 PMSimultaneous with hands, which is a new one to me.

!!


Quote from: RossFromFriends on August 23, 2019, 10:41:35 PMYou know what kind of women are hot in bed? Heterosexual ones. I'm nearly 40 years old and only just worked that out.

Ah yes, well that explains that.  It does rather help.  I guess things are starting to make a whole heap of sense to you now.

Mind you, there's plenty of straight women who are crap and/or selfish in bed too.  (And obviously yes, men too.)  I was nearly your age (I was 34) before I found a woman who really knew what she was doing.  Like you've just found out, the difference when you finally find yourself in bed with somebody who's downright enthusiastic about the whole process is startling.


Quote from: RossFromFriends on August 23, 2019, 10:41:35 PMBooking a hotel this week.

Good luck!


Quote from: gib on August 24, 2019, 12:18:48 AMsafety wank beforehand or you're going to boil over like a pan of milk.

Or just go twice...

Quote from: RossFromFriends on August 23, 2019, 10:41:35 PM
Well, did the car thing. Not actual sex as we thought should save that, but made a mess. Simultaneous with hands, which is a new one to me.

You know what kind of women are hot in bed? Heterosexual ones. I'm nearly 40 years old and only just worked that out.

She was wondering when I was going to ask her how to say her name. She was amused, no one English can say her name, so she has an English abbreviation - Nia. When I try and say her name all the constanants end up hard in a way they don't when she says it.

Booking a hotel this week.

I hate to be the one to say it; but pretty sure Nia is just an amagram...

Of Ian.

You've been had again, man ;(

Quote from: Ambient Sheep on August 24, 2019, 02:31:00 AM
!!

Just to be clear, we came simultaneously, while  just using hands. Have done simultaneous hand fun before, just not with that result.

Quote from: bgmnts on August 23, 2019, 10:43:59 PM
I recently was sent an image by a lady with an apple in her vagina. I still do not know the type of apple at this moment in time.

That'll be Granny Smith, she's meant to have stopped doing this, no one wants to see that.