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March 28, 2024, 07:10:00 PM

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Shit year.

Started by RossFromFriends, June 06, 2019, 04:23:58 PM

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touchingcloth

Quote from: RossFromFriends on August 24, 2019, 08:22:43 AM
Just to be clear, we came simultaneously, while  just using hands. Have done simultaneous hand fun before, just not with that result.

Where did you come to? You didn't walk on your hands to get there, surely?

Janie Jones

Quote from: Ambient Sheep on August 24, 2019, 02:31:00 AM

Mind you, there's plenty of straight women who are crap and/or selfish in bed too.  (And obviously yes, men too.)  I was nearly your age (I was 34) before I found a woman who really knew what she was doing.  Like you've just found out, the difference when you finally find yourself in bed with somebody who's downright enthusiastic about the whole process is startling.


Your admission of having sex with people who aren't 'enthusiastic' and in your judgement don't know what they are doing, is chilling. Saying someone is 'crap/selfish in bed' adds to people's insecurities, as if there's some special technique they must learn. If a woman is 'selfish' in bed, what does that mean, exactly? Cums loads without caring whether her partner does or not? Isn't that quite a turn on for most people who aren't pathetic? 

Basically if you're comfortable enough and communicating freely enough with someone to have happily consensual sex with them, you should be able to keep that communication going to ensure you both have a nice time and if one feels one's partner was 'crap/selfish in bed' one needs to consider what one needs to do about feeling this way. I have a single friend who likes to have a lot of casual sex, luckily for her she is very conventionally good-looking and attractive so she never goes short of partners and she claims she has NEVER had bad sex because she only chooses partners she fancies and she communicates confidently with them.

Ambient Sheep

#182
Quote from: RossFromFriends on August 24, 2019, 08:22:43 AMJust to be clear, we came simultaneously, while  just using hands. Have done simultaneous hand fun before, just not with that result.

Ah ok, understood. :-)


EDIT: Only just seen your post, Janie, as I didn't realise there was a new page.  Will reply to it properly later as I don't really have time now.  I will say, though, that I probably didn't word that as sensitively or as accurately as I could have done, because it was a somewhat-flippant late night post that I didn't realise was going to be put under the Janie microscope in the cold light of day.

Although I can see why you've drawn what you've drawn from it, it seems to me you've instantly jumped to the worst possible conclusion -- not the first time you've done that with me -- which is pretty hurtful.

For the avoidance of any doubt though, I will categorically state that I've never had sex with anybody who was reluctant to do so.  I think you have read something into the word "enthusiastic" that I wasn't intending.

EditGlitch Removal Person


José

Quote from: Janie Jones on August 24, 2019, 12:00:40 PM
I have a single friend who likes to have a lot of casual sex, luckily for her she is very conventionally good-looking and attractive so she never goes short of partners and she claims she has NEVER had bad sex because she only chooses partners she fancies and she communicates confidently with them.

then you swoop in with the M.A.C system?

Janie Jones

Quote from: Ambient Sheep on August 24, 2019, 02:55:10 PM


EDIT: Only just seen your post, Janie ... Will reply to it properly later as I don't really have time now. 

Oh great, thanks for threatening me with a 'cold light of day' examination under the Ambi microscope when you've had time to dissect my post. By all means reply but why bother saying that? Do you like being in control like that? Will I be refreshing this thread, wondering when you're going to take me to task? I will not. I'm never clicking on it again, just so you know.

Can I get in with your 'flippant, poor choice of words' excuse before you start? What the fuck is the 'Janie microscope' anyway, I barely do more than lurk on these forums and I'm not one for arguing or analysing other posts, feel free to comb through my posts though and find examples of me doing that.

Only an idiot wouldn't read your 'selfish/crap in bed' post as meaning you were impressed to find a woman who 'knew what she was doing' and you took care to emphasise what a revelation enthusiasm (your italics) was. I thought your post was creepy and wrong in its implication that there's a correct technique known to people who 'know what they're doing.'

Anyway, I'm not going to read your reply because I don't like feeling threatened and I think we're in danger of taking this thread off-topic. Fill your boots. When you've time, of course.

bgmnts

I filled someone's boots once, she was a kinky one.

Ambient Sheep

Well that's good, isn't it?  She besmirches my character then isn't going to read my reply.  And she calls me controlling!

Her original post didn't annoy me, it seemed to be just a misunderstanding.  This one has, because it clearly seems to me her mind's made up and she's arguing from a position of bad faith.

I am sorry she's upset and that I've seemed to trigger something negative in her though.  I thought I was just doing her the courtesy of letting her know I wasn't ignoring her post, that's all, and would get round to it later.  I wasn't intending to threaten her or make her feel worried... although on reflection I guess if I were in her shoes I might see it that way.  Not my intention, sorry.

I'll take any reply I do care to make to a different thread, save clogging up this one.  Sorry, Ross.

bgmnts

I besmirched someone's character once, she was a kinky one.

Captain Z

I understand what you meant, AS, and can relate to it too.

touchingcloth

I identified with Sheepy's post when I first read it, but I appreciated Janie's post as well because it highlighted the extent to which I had read Sheepy's message through patriarchal eyes.

Gonna head off to have a wank over microscopes now.

Ambient Sheep

Yup, I'm not saying it didn't give me food for thought, because it did.  It would have been interesting to explore that in a calm discussion.

Oh, and thanks Z.

Quote from: touchingcloth on August 24, 2019, 04:16:03 PM
I identified with Sheepy's post when I first read it, but I appreciated Janie's post as well because it highlighted the extent to which I had read Sheepy's message through patriarchal eyes.

Gonna head off to have a wank over microscopes now.

Or, you identified with Ambient Sheep's post because you read it and thought it rang true in some way.

Is possible.

Shit Good Nose

Quote from: bgmnts on August 24, 2019, 03:41:34 PM
I filled someone's boots once, she was a kinky one.

All their boots are filled by the time, etc.


Quote from: bgmnts on August 24, 2019, 03:51:55 PM
I besmirched someone's character once, she was a kinky one.

All their characters are besmirched by the time, etc.

touchingcloth

Quote from: Chuck Armstrong on August 24, 2019, 04:25:30 PM
Or, you identified with Ambient Sheep's post because you read it and thought it rang true in some way.

Is possible.

Yes, that is what I meant by "identified with", with the second bit you bolded being one of the reasons why I identified with it.

Twed

Shityear would be a really good name for a range of budget tyres.

mr. logic

Yeah, to be honest, I was shaken a bit myself by Janie's post simply because it does make sense (albeit in an unnecessarily aggressive and personal way) and it wasn't something that had occurred to me as a heterosexual male while reading AS's post.

Also, I want to meet her friend.

Quote from: touchingcloth on August 24, 2019, 05:37:55 PM
Yes, that is what I meant by "identified with", with the second bit you bolded being one of the reasons why I identified with it.

Right, but it does sound like you're passing the buck on to some intermediary force. Own your own responses instead of spouting buzz phrases just to draw attention to how sensitive and unmisogynistic you really are behind the (perfectly normal) ways you have of relating to people.

So you identified with a guy talking somewhat flippantly about their experiences with sex. Big whoop.

touchingcloth

I will say for the record that I've never ever had crap sex.

Mainly because I've had so little that the novelty still hasn't worn off? Absolutely not, how dare you, I have so much sex.

pancreas

Quote from: Janie Jones on August 24, 2019, 03:39:16 PM
Oh great, thanks for threatening me with a 'cold light of day' examination

Lads ... LADS

chveik

"are you threatening me? you don't want to face the wrath of my bunghole!"

Ray Travez

Quote from: Ambient Sheep on August 24, 2019, 03:49:32 PM
I thought I was just doing her the courtesy of letting her know I wasn't ignoring her post, that's all, and would get round to it later.

It seemed like a simple politeness to me. I sometimes do the same, if I can't reply to something straight away.





Ambient Sheep

Quote from: Ray Travez on August 25, 2019, 12:45:47 AM
It seemed like a simple politeness to me. I sometimes do the same, if I can't reply to something straight away.

Yup, thank you.

If I'd seen Janie's first post before I did my one-liner to Ross, I wouldn't have even posted at all, I would have saved the latter until I was ready to post to both of them.  But I'd missed the fact that there was another page and got caught out.  I didn't want her to think I was rudely ignoring her, hence my edit.  Ah, well.

bgmnts

#203
Is having sex with someone isn't that enthusiastic about it actually chilling?

If so, you could probably keep a six pack of stella cool on me.

Edit - To clarify, I haven't been particularly enthused about it either.

Twed