Tip jar

If you like CaB and wish to support it, you can use PayPal or KoFi. Thank you, and I hope you continue to enjoy the site - Neil.

Buy Me a Coffee at ko-fi.com

Support CaB

Recent

Welcome to Cook'd and Bomb'd. Please login or sign up.

March 29, 2024, 09:01:45 AM

Login with username, password and session length

How do you stop constantly thinking about things that make you sad

Started by Monsieur Verdoux, June 08, 2019, 10:29:16 PM

Previous topic - Next topic

Pingers

Did they offer anything as an alternative? I think they should be able to prescribe Beating Tories With Sticks. I would feel 100 times better if I could beat Tories with sticks without fear of the lawhammer.

bgmnts

I still reckon we should have shaggin' on the NHS, no joke.

Twed

Quote from: Cloud on June 12, 2019, 03:56:16 PM
It's trite as fuck, but... try to identify and take note of things to be happy about
This doesn't work for me. I realised that I have such a ridiculous ongoing identity crisis that I can't even identify what makes me happy, or what I want. I'll usually have one overriding goal in my life at one point (usually a relationship) and if that goes away then I devalue absolutely everything that could take its place. Somebody please diagnose me with something that explains this, I need to know what I am.

Amicable breakups are the worst. They still care about you and want to help you, but it's unrealistic to confide in them (because they have new goals and you become just a stray puppy dog to them - they want to heal your pain but you are essentially an interloper) even if they're the only person you trust.

It's difficult to think about happy things when they're a reminder of happy things that you've lost. "Find new happy things" is advice that works for people who find good things interchangeable, not for us dopes who are rendered useless by sentimentality.

Quote from: Pingers on June 20, 2019, 07:56:56 PM
Did they offer anything as an alternative? I think they should be able to prescribe Beating Tories With Sticks. I would feel 100 times better if I could beat Tories with sticks without fear of the lawhammer.

they held off on prescribing other stuff because I have other medical problems that they're wary of interfering with

Quote from: Twed on June 20, 2019, 08:19:50 PM
This doesn't work for me. I realised that I have such a ridiculous ongoing identity crisis that I can't even identify what makes me happy, or what I want. I'll usually have one overriding goal in my life at one point (usually a relationship) and if that goes away then I devalue absolutely everything that could take its place. Somebody please diagnose me with something that explains this, I need to know what I am.

you are a soppy cunt

Twed

I cannot conceive of anything I want. Even complete fantasy coming true doesn't feel like something I would welcome. The only hope I can feel is that things don't get worse than they currently are. Anything new feels like an enemy of lost hopes that I do value.

Quote from: Monsieur Verdoux on June 20, 2019, 08:27:39 PM
you are a soppy cunt
Good



all i do nowadays is read comics and cry about a girl i dated for three months when i was 19. hadn't thought of her for years, then suddenly she seems emblematic of every dashed hope. hopefully i'll forget about it all again in a few weeks when these pills wear off

Have you heard of shoot em ups?

Stupendous medium for blocking out EVERYTHING in pursuit of Nirvana.


Twed

Quote from: Monsieur Verdoux on June 20, 2019, 08:57:59 PM
all i do nowadays is read comics and cry about a girl i dated for three months when i was 19. hadn't thought of her for years, then suddenly she seems emblematic of every dashed hope. hopefully i'll forget about it all again in a few weeks when these pills wear off
Is your problem is the fear of not having something beautiful and (maybe) youthful again? Do you feel like anything new is an insult to the lost thing?

I'm projecting, but who knows

I don't necessarily feel the latter, but definitely the former. I've had subsequent relationships, but I've never been as overwhelmed and dizzy in love as that summer years ago. Everything subsequent thing has felt like I'm just playing a role. I feel like I left myself behind and I've been lost for years.

It's all bullshit of course, I'm projecting onto the past something that it can't fulfil. In a way that's easier to do than to face up to an uncertain future. Whatever I feel I lost is in me somewhere, or maybe I never had it and am yet to find it.

chveik


Poobum

This has been doing me in for the last few weeks. I feel like a hollow shell in the day. Literally groaning out load at night, as I try to sleep as every personal failure, embarrassment and missed opportunity stabs into my minds eye like vinegar soaked blades.

And yeah the woman that was absurdly wonderful, with her daft smile and mortgage and desire to be a fully functional human being, quite understandably coming to the conclusion you're not worth the risk. And the future which is just a black hole full of vagaries.

I echo the animal companionship, I walk rescue dogs and have been immensely cheered up today watching an english bulldog throwing herself into grassy ditches and rolling around like a loon. I actually like the idea of throwing myself in a ditch, it'd be warm and cosy, and I'd finally have that sense of belonging as i became a mouldy skeleton.

What can ease my mind, as it were, is just to remind myself that I'm not in control and that all these thoughts and feelings are just sparks of reaction as my brain collides against the world and then I get distracted and fascinated at what's actually going on with my highly evolved programming and how my collected intuitions and intincts are interacting and overlapping, and I suppose malfunctioning. I mean we've been thrown out of our intended context far faster than we can biologicaly and mentaly adapt. It's funny the way we all go a little insane, like a budgie inside its cage, angrily head butting its own reflection in the mirror.

Buelligan

I think I quantum-live.  Just eat the ripe ones.  If I need a hug I put myself into the moment of best hug ever.  If I feel ill, I live in my strength.  Horrible memories, fears, guilt, all those things, I turn away from and remember the beauty, the peace, all the wonderful things I have experienced and that exist everywhere and always have and always will. 

These things that hurt us, they're real things, they happen to us all but we can choose not to allow them to colour the whole of our lives.  We can choose to pass through them, maybe learn from them and then put them away when they are no longer useful.

I think humans think too much about things that give them pain.

Try putting a small stone in your shoe and going for a walk.  You will not remove the stone.  Turn your mind from the discomfort, the tiny part of your body that is uncomfortable.  Box it up in a floating bag.  Tie a string to it and let it float away, far, far, away from you.  Until it's hardly more than a speck on your horizon.  You can let go of the string if you like.  Feel the rest of your body, how un-painful it is.  Luxuriate in it.  Look outside of yourself to all the beauty of the Earth. 

Quote from: chveik on June 20, 2019, 10:28:21 PM
what comics do you read?

I've only got into comics recently so I haven't read a lot of the classics yet and I tend to rotate them depending on my mood. But I'm currently reading the Jodorowsky and Moebius Incal (with the intention of continuing on with 'Jodoverse'), a selection of Archie comics from the 40s and 50s, a lot of EC Comics, particularly the Harvey Kurtman MAD comics (#1-23) and Shock SuspenStories, the 50s Mike Hammer newspaper strips, Valérian and Laureline, the early Lucky Luke stuff, V for Vendetta, the Crime Does Not Pay! sampler and the Jack Kirby Young Romance comics.

Quote from: Buelligan on June 20, 2019, 11:04:27 PM
I think I quantum-live.  Just eat the ripe ones.  If I need a hug I put myself into the moment of best hug ever.  If I feel ill, I live in my strength.  Horrible memories, fears, guilt, all those things, I turn away from and remember the beauty, the peace, all the wonderful things I have experienced and that exist everywhere and always have and always will. 

These things that hurt us, they're real things, they happen to us all but we can choose not to allow them to colour the whole of our lives.  We can choose to pass through them, maybe learn from them and then put them away when they are no longer useful.

I think humans think too much about things that give them pain.

Try putting a small stone in your shoe and going for a walk.  You will not remove the stone.  Turn your mind from the discomfort, the tiny part of your body that is uncomfortable.  Box it up in a floating bag.  Tie a string to it and let it float away, far, far, away from you.  Until it's hardly more than a speck on your horizon.  You can let go of the string if you like.  Feel the rest of your body, how un-painful it is.  Luxuriate in it.  Look outside of yourself to all the beauty of the Earth.

You're a beautiful soul, Buelligan. I wish I had this much grace.

Twed

Quote from: Monsieur Verdoux on June 20, 2019, 10:03:52 PM
I don't necessarily feel the latter, but definitely the former. I've had subsequent relationships, but I've never been as overwhelmed and dizzy in love as that summer years ago. Everything subsequent thing has felt like I'm just playing a role. I feel like I left myself behind and I've been lost for years.

It's all bullshit of course, I'm projecting onto the past something that it can't fulfil. In a way that's easier to do than to face up to an uncertain future. Whatever I feel I lost is in me somewhere, or maybe I never had it and am yet to find it.
Yes. I don't know if what I'm saying about devaluing competing things to past happiness is even true, because I get into these states and I just have complete identity loss. I cannot figure out what my hopes are, just complete loss for what has gone. And I just want to get better, but it doesn't go away, it gets worse, and everything I process is in terms of it, and I can't let go or move on, every single second is constantly going through mental calculations about whether anything ever meant anything and if I'm over or if there's any chance of there being a future at all somehow, and everything feels so hollow and bad that there's nowhere to seek comfort or anything just write streams of thought online to nobody in particular and get through the occasional five or ten minutes with less pain because somebody you'll never meet has briefly related to you

Twit 2

Quote from: Monsieur Verdoux on June 20, 2019, 11:32:02 PM
You're a beautiful soul, Buelligan. I wish I had this much grace.

You can, dude. Isn't that the whole point of what you just quoted? Stoicism 101. Separate your thoughts about your situation from the situation itself. There are any number of ways you can dress this stuff up, as sensible people have been saying it for thousands of years. It's not special or magic wisdom, it's everywhere once you look. Don't make it too complicated, don't make it mystical, don't make it unattainable for yourself. ATARAXY FOR ALL!

Buelligan

Thank you M.Verdoux but you are way too kind.  Sorry it took me a while to respond, I was taken aback, Twit has the rights of it. 

May all the bluebirds land on your shoulders and not even shit.