Author Topic: Is Therapy A Waste Of Time?  (Read 1557 times)

Buelligan

  • STOP being afraid
Re: Is Therapy A Waste Of Time?
« Reply #30 on: June 10, 2019, 12:36:14 PM »
I was sent to a therapist by my school when I was at that school.  He struck me as a bit of a silly old twat, told me, if I ever felt I needed him, to walk straight out of class and demand he be fetched.  I never did.  The reason I was sent to see him was because I was a square peg that decided not to allow any more hammering.  That's all I know about these fucks.  Hope this helps.

Re: Is Therapy A Waste Of Time?
« Reply #31 on: June 10, 2019, 12:39:31 PM »
Tell me about the first time you felt this way about therapy?

Made me laugh

ZoyzaSorris

  • if you can smell me it's too late
Re: Is Therapy A Waste Of Time?
« Reply #32 on: June 10, 2019, 12:43:30 PM »
CBT seems bollocks to me. I just want someone to listen to me talk shit about life's manifold disasters for hours.

Re: Is Therapy A Waste Of Time?
« Reply #33 on: June 10, 2019, 01:04:37 PM »

I buddy with a guy in America once a week over skype; there's no power imbalance and no money changes hands. I think it's brilliant, really helps me if I get stuck obsessing about some problem.

pancreas

  • The islets of Langerhans are the very best islets
Re: Is Therapy A Waste Of Time?
« Reply #34 on: June 10, 2019, 01:15:33 PM »
I was sent to a therapist by my school when I was at that school.  He struck me as a bit of a silly old twat, told me, if I ever felt I needed him, to walk straight out of class and demand he be fetched.  I never did.  The reason I was sent to see him was because I was a square peg that decided not to allow any more hammering.  That's all I know about these fucks.  Hope this helps.

You should let me have a go on you. I'd sort you right out. And let me tell you, there's a lot of sorting to do.

Shit Good Nose

  • Several bags of balls
Re: Is Therapy A Waste Of Time?
« Reply #35 on: June 10, 2019, 01:16:54 PM »
NHS therapy tends to be outcome-focused and short term e.g. 6 sessions of CBT.

I'm with Janie and wouldn't bother with the NHS, it's a lottery as to if whoever you get will be any good too

In addition, depending on where you live the NHS therapy provider may only offer group sessions.  When Mrs Nose was diagnosed with a severe form of bi-polar her GP (who is our town's mental health specialist GP) suggested therapy, and Mrs Nose took it up.  It ended up being group sessions (with 11 other people) and she went to seven or eight sessions and was routinely the only person "sharing", which got her to a point of feeling like the spotlight was always on her which only ended up making her depression worse, so she stopped going.  Two of our four neighbouring local authorities offer one-to-one therapy on the NHS, but they are (or at least were back then) very tight on who was allowed to make use of it.  Basically Mrs Nose was not allowed to cross the border for it...  Since then, because we can't afford to do it privately, her only "therapy" has been the cocktail of prescription anti-depressants and opiates.


And then, when it comes to private therapy, as others have said you take a chance as to whether or not the therapist is any good and, unless you have a lot of recommendations from a lot of people independently of each other, there's no way of knowing how good a therapist is until you're a lot of money deep into it.

It also seems to be true that pretty much every single American has therapy - one of my mates' ex was American and she and her group of friends all thought it was REALLY weird that none of us ever went to see a therapist of any kind.  I mean she was 23 and had a fucking therapist!!!!!!!!!!!!!  The mind boggles.

Tricky area though, with no straight forward answers and a fuck load of "Your Mileage May Vary".

icehaven

  • I will be in the bar, with my head on the bar
Re: Is Therapy A Waste Of Time?
« Reply #36 on: June 10, 2019, 01:32:29 PM »

It also seems to be true that pretty much every single American has therapy - one of my mates' ex was American and she and her group of friends all thought it was REALLY weird that none of us ever went to see a therapist of any kind.  I mean she was 23 and had a fucking therapist!!!!!!!!!!!!!  The mind boggles.


Yep someone I went to school with moved to America about 15 years ago and casually drops things like ''I was saying to my therapist...' into her facebook statuses as if it's just normal and not spectacularly un-British to a)have a therapist at all and b)casually mention them in passing rather than die before anyone found out. I suppose it's a healthier approach but even so it jars like fuck on this side of the pond. 

Buelligan

  • STOP being afraid
Re: Is Therapy A Waste Of Time?
« Reply #37 on: June 10, 2019, 02:04:18 PM »
You should let me have a go on you. I'd sort you right out. And let me tell you, there's a lot of sorting to do.

Heheh.  I would break you, boy.  You have no idea who we have become.

Glebe

  • I sure did that thing!
Re: Is Therapy A Waste Of Time?
« Reply #38 on: June 10, 2019, 06:55:28 PM »
I'm wondering when to jack in the counselling... it can be great to talk things out, but I think it's time to move on and accept that the past is the past and that I have to use coping techniques for my anxiety and that. I often end up coming out feeling really down, tbh... not that I want to put anyone else off seeking counselling, as I say, it has been very helpful too.

Re: Is Therapy A Waste Of Time?
« Reply #39 on: June 10, 2019, 06:59:28 PM »
I'm sure there was an old thread about this, but I searched and couldn't find it. Anyway I don't know if I might want a therapist, especially as I am a bit skeptical about the industry. But I'm a bit anxious about if my injection cures my gammy leg (a week tomorrow) and I can get out of the house more, where do I see myself fitting into the world? At my bloody age (50!)? I can't decide if I want another relationship or not. I don't know if childhood-based issues are still unresolved, that sort of thing.

I am quite happy to talk about myself for an hour, that will be my borderline narcissism. I've had a few sessions in the past, ok but not sure they helped at all. One of the psychotherapists I've looked up who lives nearby and has a good reputation trained in Gestalt Therapy, I looked it up and can't decide if it's right, or what would be better. I could maybe get CBT through my GP, but I'm loathe to admit any problems to the GP, who I don't really like or trust, because I may need certain meds if my pain returns, which it probably will, and I don't want to not get them because I'm saying I have any mental health worries. Can you get NHS based ie free counselling without your GP knowing?

Ta.

Therapy (though there are lots of different types) is very good if delivered by a good therapist.  Note a good therapist is not someone that you unchallenged by but some one that allows you to examine things you find challenging.

However, they are like physios you have to do the work yourself mainly but the results can be life changing.

Re: Is Therapy A Waste Of Time?
« Reply #40 on: June 10, 2019, 07:01:03 PM »
I'm wondering when to jack in the counselling... it can be great to talk things out, but I think it's time to move on and accept that the past is the past and that I have to use coping techniques for my anxiety and that. I often end up coming out feeling really down, tbh... not that I want to put anyone else off seeking counselling, as I say, it has been very helpful too.

Yep my feeling was always counselling is a great way to explore but you need to move on to different areas of psychotherapy once you have done that part.

Zetetic

  • Burying isn't the same as killing.
Re: Is Therapy A Waste Of Time?
« Reply #41 on: June 10, 2019, 07:18:47 PM »
CBT seems bollocks to me.
I suggest it's a broadly sensible thing to teach people, and possibly genuinely very useful to some people with depression and anxiety in a fairly narrow set of circumstances.

But perhaps not a very useful tool to singularly promote - with at least a background emphasis on returning people to work - as the answer to the vast majority of a population's woes, particularly as that population is put through 'austerity' and a recession.

chveik

  • who's gonna feed them hogs?
Re: Is Therapy A Waste Of Time?
« Reply #42 on: June 10, 2019, 10:35:58 PM »
tried it. I'm still posting here so I guess it didn't really work

Re: Is Therapy A Waste Of Time?
« Reply #43 on: June 11, 2019, 01:45:39 AM »

For the majority of those who go to therapy, I'd say it is a waste of time as, deep down, they already know why they're fucked up - It just takes someone else to pull it out of them and show them. A minority may well have suppressed trauma or memories and actually do need some help in coping with that.

Philosophy's a waste of time, too.


chveik

  • who's gonna feed them hogs?
Re: Is Therapy A Waste Of Time?
« Reply #44 on: June 11, 2019, 01:50:09 AM »
Philosophy's a waste of time, too.

it depends on what you're doing with it

Re: Is Therapy A Waste Of Time?
« Reply #45 on: June 11, 2019, 01:54:43 AM »
Everything's a waste of time, except car boot sales and Earl Grey tea.

Buelligan

  • STOP being afraid
Re: Is Therapy A Waste Of Time?
« Reply #46 on: June 11, 2019, 06:03:24 AM »
I second that thought, although no more vide greniers for me in the foreseeable due to the Sunday nature of them meaning I'm always working.  Still, I've seen some good ones, no one can ever take that away.  And I still have my Earl Grey.  Best therapy in the world, along with motorbikes.  And music.  Plants, growing stuff.  Dogs, cats, animals.  A great big mountain.  More music.  Do a little painting.  Do a little dance.  The sea.  Music.  Not taking it all too seriously.  Bit of yoga.  Music, then.  Nice cup of tea.

Re: Is Therapy A Waste Of Time?
« Reply #47 on: June 11, 2019, 06:49:53 AM »
However, they are like physios you have to do the work yourself mainly but the results can be life changing.

That's a good comparison.

Re: Is Therapy A Waste Of Time?
« Reply #48 on: June 12, 2019, 01:35:11 AM »
I second that thought, although no more vide greniers for me in the foreseeable due to the Sunday nature of them meaning I'm always working. 

I feel for you. I think you work hard. There's a beauty in that of course, but it can be a pain in the arse too.

I swore I'd never work in catering again, and so far that's been true. Not because I don't love it- I do- just the hours are crap, and the pay is as well.

Mister Six

  • Half-masted, bass-boosted, sling-backed
Re: Is Therapy A Waste Of Time?
« Reply #49 on: June 12, 2019, 02:52:33 PM »
Friend of mine is seeing a psychiatrist (so not a therapist I suppose?) for his depression and anxiety and it's been a lifesaver in just a few months. They've helped him unpack issues that had troubled him subconsciously since childhood, came up with coping techniques for panic attacks and depression and prescribed the proper drugs to help him cope.

If you can afford a proper psychiatrist, and you need one, definitely look into it. He said it started off as a lot of him just talking, but developed into practical advice.

EDIT: He's in Manhattan, where every second person is a therapist or psychiatrist or something, he got a recommendation from a friend and he pays for it out of his own pocket. So obviously in a privileged position to do this. Still worth looking into though.
« Last Edit: June 12, 2019, 03:26:59 PM by Mister Six »

vic spanner

  • There aren't any sheep in Mongolia.
Re: Is Therapy A Waste Of Time?
« Reply #50 on: June 12, 2019, 03:15:43 PM »
Disclaimer: I trained for a while as a counsellor (mental health issues and the consequent realisation that I wasn't stable enough myself buggered that up after 18 months of a two year course). Only able to speak for my own training college, of course, but it was incredibly rigorous training, you're basically challenged and taken apart emotionally and psychologically in order to be resilient enough to do the job. The pass rate there was around 20%, which honestly reflects the fact that only a few people are able to counsel effectively.

And there are certainly a number of bad counsellors out there, it's a badly regulated profession, sadly. I've experienced that, but now have a counsellor I've been seeing for over four years, generally on a fortnightly basis, and she is fantastic. It's not an underestimation to say that I wouldn't still be around without her.

There's obviously a huge element of luck in terms of finding the right person, and it's best to go private - as has been said, NHS counselling is virtually worthless - this means a significant financial investment (one which I often struggle to afford). But if it works, it's genuinely a life saver.

It's also important to remember that a counsellor isn't going to fix you; that's not what it's about, some magic solution handed to you. It's a relationship, in a safe and neutral space, that both parties have to work at. And if you both do, the results can be astonishing.