Author Topic: Walk in on your lover in bed with an alien  (Read 516 times)

Walk in on your lover in bed with an alien
« on: June 10, 2019, 10:16:34 AM »
So you get in from a hard days graft, hear giggling and pelvic bones colliding, head into the master suite, and your other half is making love to an E.T martian. Can you even muster up anger at this point, you are the second person to discover a being from another world, the mental strain must be unimaginable. What do you even do?

icehaven

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Re: Walk in on your lover in bed with an alien
« Reply #1 on: June 10, 2019, 10:19:06 AM »
Couldn't be worse than finding them in bed with not one but two giant M&Ms that have come to life.

Blue Jam

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Re: Walk in on your lover in bed with an alien
« Reply #2 on: June 10, 2019, 10:21:57 AM »
The Bangles consider a snappier rewrite

Paul Calf

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Re: Walk in on your lover in bed with an alien
« Reply #3 on: June 10, 2019, 10:28:19 AM »
HS Art is sadface.

icehaven

  • I will be in the bar, with my head on the bar
Re: Walk in on your lover in bed with an alien
« Reply #4 on: June 10, 2019, 10:33:29 AM »
Seriously though has anyone here ever actually walked in on their partner in bed with someone else (man, woman, alien or M&M?) If so how did it pan out? Did you do the whole rom-com ''Oh don't let me interrupt you!'' thing and they end up chasing you down the street in the nude, begging for forgiveness? Or did you hop in yourself?
Sorry I'm being very flippant about the horror of probably the worst way to discover infidelity, it's just it's such a film and TV cliché, and it must have really happened millions of times, it's just I've never known anyone it's happened to.

Re: Walk in on your lover in bed with an alien
« Reply #5 on: June 10, 2019, 10:48:14 AM »
HS Art is sadface.

Its a scientific morale quandary, I pray this situation never happens to you.

Re: Walk in on your lover in bed with an alien
« Reply #6 on: June 10, 2019, 10:59:03 AM »
Seriously though has anyone here ever actually walked in on their partner in bed with someone else (man, woman, alien or M&M?) If so how did it pan out? Did you do the whole rom-com ''Oh don't let me interrupt you!'' thing and they end up chasing you down the street in the nude, begging for forgiveness? Or did you hop in yourself?
Sorry I'm being very flippant about the horror of probably the worst way to discover infidelity, it's just it's such a film and TV cliché, and it must have really happened millions of times, it's just I've never known anyone it's happened to.

Has anyone here BEEN the lover and actually handed the partner/spouse their clothes from their hiding place in the wardrobe?

Small Man Big Horse

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Re: Walk in on your lover in bed with an alien
« Reply #7 on: June 10, 2019, 11:00:17 AM »
Couldn't be worse than finding them in bed with not one but two giant M&Ms that have come to life.



You're not wrong, I'll never forgive her. Never.

Endicott

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Re: Walk in on your lover in bed with an alien
« Reply #8 on: June 10, 2019, 11:21:38 AM »
Seriously though has anyone here ever actually walked in on their partner in bed with someone else (man, woman, alien or M&M?)

Not quite what you're asking, but ...

Around 1986 I was on holiday with my gf in Ibiza. At this stage we had never had sex and I was still a virgin, but needless to say in my naivety I thought her agreeing to share a room with me meant I was in with a chance, at least.

I came out of the loo in a night club and saw her in a rear booth tongue jousting with another guy also staying in our hotel. Five days into a two week holiday.

She moved out of our room and into his for the rest of the stay, I got some sympathy from other the guests but no sex.




Oh yeah, then when I got home my Mum told me my pet budgie had died while I was away. Icing. On. The. Cake.

pancreas

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Re: Walk in on your lover in bed with an alien
« Reply #9 on: June 10, 2019, 11:24:59 AM »
R Kelly made a well-known documentary about this.

Re: Walk in on your lover in bed with an alien
« Reply #10 on: June 10, 2019, 11:33:38 AM »
This put me in mind of The Viz:

Quote
"West Midlands mental patient drops showbiz bombshell - I’VE BEDDED THE TV PUPPETS! - Seedy sex lives of the children’s telly favourites.

http://www.heretical.com/miscella/vizsooty.html

icehaven

  • I will be in the bar, with my head on the bar
Re: Walk in on your lover in bed with an alien
« Reply #11 on: June 10, 2019, 11:36:14 AM »
Not quite what you're asking, but ...

Around 1986 I was on holiday with my gf in Ibiza. At this stage we had never had sex and I was still a virgin, but needless to say in my naivety I thought her agreeing to share a room with me meant I was in with a chance, at least.

I came out of the loo in a night club and saw her in a rear booth tongue jousting with another guy also staying in our hotel. Five days into a two week holiday.

She moved out of our room and into his for the rest of the stay, I got some sympathy from other the guests but no sex.




Oh yeah, then when I got home my Mum told me my pet budgie had died while I was away. Icing. On. The. Cake.

Maybe the budgie died of shock when it heard you'd gone on holiday with someone before you'd even slept together. Seriously though I do hope you didn't pay for the whole holiday and that you told the airline staff what happened and they upgraded you to first class so you didn't have to sit next to her on the plane home.   

Edit; and in your defence FWIW, I don't think it's naïve to think sharing a room meant you'd be getting some action, although if you still hadn't after 5 days then the alarm bells may have been ringing. 

Endicott

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Re: Walk in on your lover in bed with an alien
« Reply #12 on: June 10, 2019, 11:58:47 AM »
Maybe the budgie died of shock when it heard you'd gone on holiday with someone before you'd even slept together. Seriously though I do hope you didn't pay for the whole holiday and that you told the airline staff what happened and they upgraded you to first class so you didn't have to sit next to her on the plane home.   

I did none of those things. You're right though, that budgie was no fool.

mothman

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Re: Walk in on your lover in bed with an alien
« Reply #13 on: June 10, 2019, 04:39:53 PM »
My brother caught me in his bed with my wife.

Glebe

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Re: Walk in on your lover in bed with an alien
« Reply #14 on: June 10, 2019, 04:42:52 PM »
[tag]Loving the alien.[/tag]

Johnny Yesno

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Re: Walk in on your lover in bed with an alien
« Reply #15 on: June 10, 2019, 09:48:33 PM »
Not what I was expecting when my girlfriend said she was really getting into Greys' anatomy.

DolphinFace

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Re: Walk in on your lover in bed with an alien
« Reply #16 on: June 10, 2019, 10:04:27 PM »
Not quite what you're asking, but ...

Around 1986 I was on holiday with my gf in Ibiza.

Was she your actual girlfriend? She sounds borderline sociopathic. She just moved out, then sat next to you on the plane back? What did you talk about on your way back.

Cloud

  • Elon who?
Re: Walk in on your lover in bed with an alien
« Reply #17 on: June 10, 2019, 10:15:30 PM »
Is that one of those who ejaculates out of their foreheads?

Divorce her and become captain of the Orville.