I'll let you off...this time.

[touchingcloth]

I was in airport security earlier, and saw someone have their bag pulled off the conveyors for an opening, the offending item being a pot of salad. The various G4S nerds passed it around from one to another each of them eyeing, prodding at sniffing at it, before the head nerd gave it back to the passenger telling them that they shouldn't really be travelling with a salad but that they would let them off...this time.

Is this favourite of tinpot Hitlers the world over the most ineffectual threat/offer possible? What're the chances they will ever see the same passenger again? And how are they going to let the other nerds know? They didn't make a note of it in the Official Observations section of the passport or brand their forehead or anything.

[Morrison Lard]

The various G4S nerds passed it around from one to another each of them eyeing, prodding at sniffing at it

machotrouts, take your milonga rucksack to an airport, please.

[Twed]

I had an argument with an American cop at the weekend, who had put cones up to block off an area where some overhead work was being done. An American cop, which means I had a near-death experience.

There were no active workers, and it was right on a corner, so as soon you turn the corner you're in the cones. In that situation I'm just going to keep walking, and I did. The cop saw this as an opportunity to express his frustrations about being relegated to guarding an empty space on a sunny Saturday, and started going off about how "that was exactly what I didn't want you to do" etc., clearly setting himself up for a good old complaining about how stupid millenials are when he got home to his disappointing family. He was scaring the woman I was with, who has a lot of issues with PTSD and fear of bullying figures like him. She's the kind of person who would get killed for no reason because one of those dead pig cunts shouted some confusing instructions with a gun trained on her. This made me extremely angry, as he kept challenging her on her nervous response, so I distracted his attention away from her by pointing out that the cones are inadequate, people are going to walk through them, and you should put up tape or barriers at waist height if you wanted to do the job competently. In the end he just pretended it was about him caring for our well-being, as if "be careful" is applicable advice and we moved on, our nice walked temporarily soured by what I have to reiterate is a dead cunt, rotting away from the inside, unaware that he passed down painful cancer genes to his entire family and also to his wife and mother during sex. Imagine that! Having sex twice ever and causing cancer each time.

[Sebastian Cobb]

Got caught sneaking in through the deliveries entrance next to the bike park at work when a delivery bloke had left the door open.

[Twed]

So fucking angry at the police right now. I understand what NWA were going on about now I've been tutted at for cone ignorement.

[Buelligan]

When I used to be a naughtier person, something I may have used on these little Hitlers time and again and, I think is fairly effective, is making them think their authority has you by the ears and arse.  I'd always carry a little authority-sacrifice about my person, when you pass the sign that says something like All these things are banned so don't even think about it, I'd do a little millisecond's pretend think, have a little search and pop my sacrifice right in their bucket.  Everyone's happy and I let myself off with a mild warning.

Obviously, none of this really happened but it could do.

[Twed]

I think authority needs to come to the terms with the fact that I am letting them off for muddying up my world with their horseshit.

[madhair60]

This is what I say to my partners. "I'll get you off... this time"

But I never do.

Edit: grievously misread and revealed something very personal.

[Twed]

Ironically your mistake made me cum.

[Buelligan]

This is what I say to my partners. "I'll get you off... this time"

But I never do.

Edit: grievously misread and revealed something very personal.

Always under-promise.  Alan Sugar taught me that, you wouldn't think he had it in him, looking at him. 

[Twed]

Paul Daniels: "You'll like this... not a lot, but you'll like it!"

That's what made him the sexist man alive.

[St_Eddie]

That's what made him the sexist man alive.

Not sure if that's a typo or not.

[touchingcloth]

I'll get you off...next time, Gadget.

[Clownbaby]

I've noticed some middlle-aged women cashiers have a bit of an attitude when they ID me for drink. Little head-tilt and then a narrow eyed ''I guess this legally sound and up-to-date provisional driving licence will have to fucking do for now you young bitch'' sort of vibe

[VelourSpirit]

I've noticed some middlle-aged women cashiers have a bit of an attitude when they ID me for drink. Little head-tilt and then a narrow eyed ''I guess this legally sound and up-to-date provisional driving licence will have to fucking do for now you young bitch'' sort of vibe

Happens to me too but it's because I keep smirking whenever I get those skeptical looks, like 'ha you're properly not gonna believe this, you're going to feel so foolish'.

[Icehaven]

It's Challenge 25, and it's the passive-aggressive-chip-on-the-shoulder-jobsworth-cunt-cashier's dream come true, because it basically means they can refuse to serve anyone without ID if, in their professional opinion, they look 25 or under, which half the time is seemingly anyone south of 50. I got ID'd a week before my 40th birthday and that's not a humblebrag by any means, I might pass as a few years shy of my age on a good day but there's no feckin' way I look 25 or less. The woman was eyeballing me the whole time I was in the queue and as soon as I got to the checkout barked ''IDpleasechallenge25'' without pausing for breath. It's not that they think half the people they ask are under 25, it's that they're hoping they won't have any ID because then they ''have to refuse the sale you see, it's the law'' even if they then acknowledge that you're obviously plenty old enough. Hence the disappointment and suspicion when you present them with ID.