Author Topic: The French  (Read 3111 times)

Danger Man

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Re: The French
« Reply #30 on: June 10, 2019, 10:12:20 PM »
I've been to France a few times and was shocked at how nice the French were. In fairness, perhaps they recognised a fellow cunt.

nouvelle page, etc

mothman

  • I don't know why
Re: The French
« Reply #31 on: June 10, 2019, 10:19:40 PM »

Buelligan

  • STOP being afraid
Re: The French
« Reply #32 on: June 10, 2019, 10:55:03 PM »
Their war flags are a bit on the plain side.

Ne pas faire de quartier sans drapeau ?

Re: The French
« Reply #33 on: June 11, 2019, 07:13:55 AM »
" Porn Shoes "  and " Gabriel In The Airport " were decent songs, but, really, I preferred Hefner.

Re: The French
« Reply #34 on: June 11, 2019, 07:17:31 AM »
Oh, yeah, I got all saucy with  French girl a couple of times, looked like Sarah Pascoe. How remiss of me to forget to  mention this.

Paul Calf

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Re: The French
« Reply #35 on: June 11, 2019, 07:41:31 AM »
But most of us...

Interesting word, that. Versatile.

Oh, yeah, I got all saucy with  French girl a couple of times, looked like Sarah Pascoe. How remiss of me to forget to  mention this.

Did you ever mistake them for each other?

Shaky

  • I drink your thread
Re: The French
« Reply #36 on: June 11, 2019, 07:47:18 AM »
Having been teaching The French how to speak English for the last four months I've come to the following conclusions:

17% of The French are massively sexist idiots.
12% of The French are very, very angry people.
61% of The French are perfectly nice, thank you.
0.5% of The French don't believe the moon landings took place (so just one student as it goes, who I thought was quite smart until then).
12% of The French have lovely breasts.
01% of The French really hate Shakespeare.

What are your opinions about The French?

103.5% of The French ignore percentage limitations.

Re: The French
« Reply #37 on: June 11, 2019, 08:03:20 AM »
Once got into an argument with a Frenchman about which of our respective countries was the best. Cunt almost had me beat fair play, art and culture, cuisine, science, landscape - whatever I put forward he had something better. “1346 motherfucker!! Hahah! Ave that! Fucking yes! You know it!” Followed by minutes of wild pissed laughter and finger pointing. I’d won. You see, the French can’t fight. And that beats everything.

Paul Calf

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Re: The French
« Reply #38 on: June 11, 2019, 08:09:14 AM »
*cough*


Re: The French
« Reply #39 on: June 11, 2019, 08:42:01 AM »


Did you ever mistake them for each other?

I did, actually. I remember one occasion when I approached Sarah Pascoe after a successful comedy gig she'd just done, with a cheery greeting of " Great gags, missus, and remember that time I had a right old mash on your norks ? " Sarah Pascoe was not happy, and with a petulant cry of " How dare you speak to me like that! I don't have to take this, you know ! My dad was in Flintlock ! ", she turned on her heel and went off in a right old huff, I can tell you. " So tempremental., these French birds. . Still, her English accents coming along" I thought to myself.
A couple of days later  with a slap to the forehead, and a Homeresque "D'oh ! " , I realised my faux pas. You see, this is a very fitting story, as faux pas is French for " Making a cunt of yourself in public, by doing something fucking stupid."

Re: The French
« Reply #40 on: June 11, 2019, 09:09:39 AM »
103.5% of The French ignore percentage limitations.

Maybe 3.5% of the ones with lovely breasts are also massively sexist idiots too.

That's right women can be sexists too. Also, fat men.

shiftwork2

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Re: The French
« Reply #41 on: June 11, 2019, 09:53:08 AM »
I visited France for the first time this year.  It’s alright isn’t it?  Also, the French people were alright too.

I’ll be along later with some more opinions.

imitationleather

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Re: The French
« Reply #42 on: June 11, 2019, 09:53:36 AM »
I visited France for the first time this year.  It’s alright isn’t it?  Also, the French people were alright too.

I’ll be along later with some more opinions.

Probably went to Clacton by mistake.

gilbertharding

  • Not even the rudest man in the Beatles
Re: The French
« Reply #43 on: June 11, 2019, 09:54:14 AM »
...we kind of view the French as rather sophisticated and intimidating, so we mock them.

Any weekday afternoon in the 90s in Canterbury would swiftly have disabused you of that notion. Hordes of Calais teenagers in NafNaf anoraks, full to the brim with Woolworths pick'n'mix, Cherry Coke... the heady aroma of Joke Shop fart spray and the illicit thrill of aerosol string heavy in the air- the very antithesis of Riviera chic.

shiftwork2

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Re: The French
« Reply #44 on: June 11, 2019, 09:55:02 AM »
Probably went to Clacton by mistake.

Ah sheeeeeeit

Alberon

  • His heart is an empty fridge
Re: The French
« Reply #45 on: June 11, 2019, 10:57:51 AM »
I visited France for the first time this year.  It’s alright isn’t it?  Also, the French people were alright too.

I’ll be along later with some more onions.

FTFY

Fambo Number Mive

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Re: The French
« Reply #46 on: June 11, 2019, 11:08:57 AM »
The French seem far more cultured, intelligent and sophisticated than the English.

Neomod

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Re: The French
« Reply #47 on: June 11, 2019, 11:12:14 AM »
School trips taught me they were purveyors of the finest products..

*NWS* https://www.picclickimg.com/d/l400/pict/273874705215_/Vintage-ADULT-WORLD-BEAUTY-54-FULL-COLOR-NUDE.jpg



« Last Edit: June 11, 2019, 11:51:32 PM by Barry Admin »

imitationleather

  • "The French... are famous... for their kissing"
    • http://last.fm/user/ImiLeathr
Re: The French
« Reply #48 on: June 11, 2019, 11:24:07 AM »
Those laser pointers that you can use to blind your teachers as well, of course.

Buelligan

  • STOP being afraid
Re: The French
« Reply #49 on: June 11, 2019, 11:39:08 AM »
Though, not wishing to detract from the French in any way whatsoever, those cards do look suspiciously anglophonic to my untrained eye.  You can't blame everything in the French you know, not without putting in a lot more effort anyway.

Blue Jam

  • AM NO A GRASS
Re: The French
« Reply #50 on: June 11, 2019, 11:46:53 AM »
Fuckin ell, is the current France retiring or moving upstairs?



Pack your most stylish suit, Blodders- you're gonna need it.

Cuellar

  • She was having sly love with a midnight creeper
Re: The French
« Reply #51 on: June 11, 2019, 11:49:13 AM »


AHHHAAH THE French...

Captain Z

  • Oh yeah my cholesterol's going down
Re: The French
« Reply #52 on: June 11, 2019, 01:11:19 PM »
Lovely people in my experience - relaxed, friendly, open and forthcoming. Possibly because I don't come across as a typically British person, I don't know. I tend to get on well with anyone, but now I think about it I have probably had more positive interactions with French people than any other nation.



Douze points

Small Man Big Horse

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Re: The French
« Reply #53 on: June 11, 2019, 01:48:10 PM »
What percentage wear berets, stripey tops and onions around their neck while riding around on bicycles?

What percentage are Sacha Distel?

What percentage have outrageous accents?

It's 0% for the first one, a surprisingly high 92% for the next (though they may be wearing convincing masks to fool me) and 2% for the last, but again they may be faking it just to annoy.

" Porn Shoes "  and " Gabriel In The Airport " were decent songs, but, really, I preferred Hefner.

You are Darren Hayman and I claim my five pounds. Or Darren Hayman's mum, perhaps, it's definitely one of the two as I'm pretty sure no one else remembers the band (though I agree with you, Hefner definitely were a lot more fun).

chveik

  • I will monetize your eyeballs
Re: The French
« Reply #54 on: June 11, 2019, 02:20:38 PM »
I'm a French chain smoker. I don't care much for wine or cheese though.

Johnny Yesno

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Re: The French
« Reply #55 on: June 11, 2019, 08:22:10 PM »
My other half is from the South Of France, a village near Nice. Very fiery, opinionated, vain, green-eyed, knows everything about everything. Conversations with her sometimes feel like a row. It's that hot Mediterranean blood coursing through her veins.  She says I wouldn't last a minute there. Thinks British food is mostly rank especially the bread and cakes, hates carpets, windows, over-familiar newsreaders, pebbly beaches, the crappy weather, the NHS and GP are, of course, not nearly as good as in France, most British girls are tarty, and calls British blokes, 'roast beef' or 'really skinny'!?. However, she says people are better drivers in the UK, less judgemental and loves old British TV shows and our comedy: Father Ted, OFITG are her favourites. She likes our range of savoury snacks but doesn't understand how Brits eat crisps as part of their lunch. She is a great cook, DIY expert, sexy, thoughtful, loyal and looks fifteen years younger than her age because she always moisturizes so some people think she is my daughter. Has spectacular breasts.

Aside from all the other pros and cons you mentioned, the fact that OFITG is one of her favourite British comedies means she's a keeper in my book.

Re: The French
« Reply #56 on: June 11, 2019, 08:39:33 PM »
I like the French and their cities are all ace. I was told that they have a form of collective eating disorder and the pressure on women to be thin is very unhealthy. Was pointed out to me to watch how many plates go back to kitchen with only a mouthful of cake eaten. Once you see it it's everywhere.

Re: The French
« Reply #57 on: June 11, 2019, 08:40:51 PM »
I like the French and their cities are all ace. I was told that they have a form of collective eating disorder and the pressure on women to be thin is very unhealthy. Was pointed out to me to watch how many plates go back to kitchen with only a mouthful of cake eaten. Once you see it it's everywhere.

Yeah but on the plus side, every French woman I have met has been bloody gorgeous.

Dr Rock

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Re: The French
« Reply #58 on: June 11, 2019, 09:01:54 PM »
I like the French and their cities are all ace. I was told that they have a form of collective eating disorder and the pressure on women to be thin is very unhealthy. Was pointed out to me to watch how many plates go back to kitchen with only a mouthful of cake eaten. Once you see it it's everywhere.

Maybe french cakes are shit.

Attila

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Re: The French
« Reply #59 on: June 11, 2019, 10:23:29 PM »
I like France and I like the French. My French is hopeless, and the people I've met either go out of their way to help me along with it, or insist on answering me rudely in English.

My work-spouse is French, from Nice.

I would like to spend more time in France.

Merci.