Author Topic: Honest Father's Day cards  (Read 1072 times)

Al Tha Funkee Homosapien

  • Nothing is ever as good or bad as you think.
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Re: Honest Father's Day cards
« Reply #30 on: June 11, 2019, 07:01:38 PM »
Dear Dad,

...................can I speak to Mum.

Re: Honest Father's Day cards
« Reply #31 on: June 11, 2019, 08:15:14 PM »
Dear Dad

Thank for life and the shit middle name
Thanks for fucking off and giving me someone to blame
If the world ever turns into the Walking Dead
I'll hunt you down, shoot you in the head

mothman

  • I don't know why
Re: Honest Father's Day cards
« Reply #32 on: June 11, 2019, 08:19:35 PM »
“Go into the light... and stop watching me wanking.”

hamfist

  • Furry Asscandy
Re: Honest Father's Day cards
« Reply #33 on: June 11, 2019, 08:53:46 PM »
I launched into a rant this morning at work about how nonsensical it was that companies were mail-spamming me adverts about father’s days gifts - I was saying it was stupid, why would I buy myself (a father, you mothers) a gift.

It never crossed my mind they were spamming me to buy something for *my* dad.

He died in 1981. I forget people have dads.

Didn’t even enter my head. Sorry, bleak.

tookish

  • Fool of a Took
Re: Honest Father's Day cards
« Reply #34 on: June 12, 2019, 09:03:08 AM »
On second thoughts, no.
« Last Edit: June 12, 2019, 09:52:32 AM by tookish »

Pingers

  • I can produce 3,500 water voles a year if required
Re: Honest Father's Day cards
« Reply #35 on: June 12, 2019, 09:55:19 AM »
Thinking of emailing a link to this thread to Families Need Fathers

Butchers Blind

  • Toffee Crisp wrapper as a johnny
Re: Honest Father's Day cards
« Reply #36 on: June 12, 2019, 10:49:01 AM »
Judging by this thread they should rebrand it 'Hunt & Kill Fathers Day'.
My condolences on all your terrible Dads.

icehaven

  • I will be in the bar, with my head on the bar
Re: Honest Father's Day cards
« Reply #37 on: June 12, 2019, 01:00:10 PM »
I launched into a rant this morning at work about how nonsensical it was that companies were mail-spamming me adverts about father’s days gifts - I was saying it was stupid, why would I buy myself (a father, you mothers) a gift.

It never crossed my mind they were spamming me to buy something for *my* dad.

He died in 1981. I forget people have dads.

Didn’t even enter my head. Sorry, bleak.

Many years ago I had one of those moments when something punctures the all-encompassing solipsism of youth and makes you realise other people have non-obvious lives too. I've never known or had any contact with my Dad at all, so when people would ask me if I was getting my Dad a card or a present etc. for Father's Day I'd politely say I wasn't as I'd never known him, but inwardly would be castigating them for their casual assumption that it wasn't a potentially awkward question, that while I'm not sensitive or bothered about it a lot of people could be and get upset and so on. Anyway one day I asked someone if they were going to be doing anything with their Mum for Mother's Day, and yep, sure enough, the curt response was that their Mother was dead so no. It's shameful it took me to that moment to realise I'd probably blithely asked loads of people the same question over the years without knowing anything about their parents, and it hadn't even occurred to me that although I was acutely aware not everyone had a Dad around, it was also the case that not everyone had a Mum around either just because I did.   

Blinder Data

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Re: Honest Father's Day cards
« Reply #38 on: June 12, 2019, 08:05:03 PM »
Dear Dad,

Thank you for receiving oral sex from my stepmother in the front room when my sister was staying over. Now her walking in on you is merely an hilarious tale and not some psychosexual trauma that would follow me around forever.

Love xx