quitting your job in order to do absolutely nothing

[kittens]

where did you get a photograph of me???

[mothman]

I'm in your computer.

[kittens]

this whole website is in my computer

[Voltan (Man of Steel)]

I used to know someone who decided to become a strongman despite not being very strong at all. He took steroids, got fat and performed unimpressive feats of strength to indifferent crowds on pub car parks. I don't think it pays very well (or at all) but you're your own boss and the hours are short. Just a suggestion.

[Emma Raducanu]

I'm sure if you set up a crowd funding page for your plight, there'd be no end of admiring donations. It might fund a cycling trip to Greece, where you end up as a slightly bonkers English waiter, who gets all the orders wrong, spills trays and generally gets on the nerves of the irate, eccentric proprietor.

[Small Man Big Horse]

You should do what I do Kittens and teach English to Chinese kids, you can do it anywhere in the world as long as you have a decent internet connection, which many homeless shelters now do.

[Danger Man]

Have you considered renting out your arsehole?

This. You can do it anywhere in the world as long as you have a decent internet connection, which many homeless shelters now do.

[Ray Travez]

You can get money for doing fuck all if you sign up to a paid clinical trial. You almost probably won't die and can get about £3K for  a two week trial.

That was my plan. Just do one or two a year to pay my bills, go travelling with any spare cash, bum around the Canary Islands in a tent. Absolutely gutted to discover about four days ago that I'm ineligible for any drugs trials with any company ever for medical reasons. I don't have a plan B. Well, apart from value betting, but that can't last forever.

Need to find a bent quack who'll expunge my medical records for $$$. 

[steve98]

It was also my plan, but when I went to St Jimmy's in Leeds for an interview/chat they told me I had high blood pressure and was of no use to them. It looked great too, just loungin' about in your Jim-Jams gettin' pumped with this and that, and playin' croquet. I was gutted

[Pearly-Dewdrops Drops]

Run for Parliament, get paid to do nothing.

[Ray Travez]

It was also my plan, but when I went to St Jimmy's in Leeds for an interview/chat they told me I had high blood pressure and was of no use to them. It looked great too, just loungin' about in your Jim-Jams gettin' pumped with this and that, and playin' croquet. I was gutted

heh! That's a pretty good description of it- I did one in 1993 or so.

Water fasting can normalise blood pressure. Possibly just losing weight would do it as well. Depends how keen you are to get spiked with wacky new drugs for cash. I was injected with female fertility hormones- one was synthetic, and the other was apparently made from rat urine. I don't know which was which, but one of them made me incredibly horny.

[Ray Travez]

The major cost in living, and therefore the reason to continue working, is rent. Therefore, don't pay rent and it becomes much easier to subsist as a bottom-feeder. Ways of not paying rent include living in a van, living in a shed on an allotment, and living under a bridge. You can also live almost rent-free as a property guardian. However, it sounds like you want to go to Greece on your BMX, so I'd just do that. Read some books by people who cycled around the world to get inspiration, but stop reading when they get to Greece. It shouldn't be more than two or three chapters, unless they cycle really slow.

[Dex Sawash]

£123 on Gumtree. Might get you to Greece even.

[zomgmouse]

Busk

[Fry]

Bust




^{all over my face and I'll chuck you a fiver.}

[dr_christian_troy]

Bus

[Pingers]

Funny you should mention this kittens, because I'm sure I've read that you can earn £400 pw working from home. It was on a sticker. Presumably you can do this while masturbating, so that sounds ideal.

[zomgmouse]

If you say you want to go to Greece and be a Greek man you could always join a remote village and be a villager and tend to their farms and they'll let you live there and make you one of them and marry you off to a nice village maiden. Maybe try going on an island.

[Thomas]

Cycle to and infiltrate one of those places where they're trialling Universal Basic Income. Give glowing feedback (five stars) and then just wait for it to be implemented worldwide (including Greece).

[Ray Travez]

Busk

Bust

Bus

Walk


Jam


Nitty gritty

[thenoise]

Upload a sexy lady pic to Tinder with your profile as 'PayPal me £5 to see what happens'. Money for fuck all work, that's what happens.

Or you could try doing phone in competitions on CAB radio, guess you have to monetise the phone call somehow, I dunno. Google it.

[mothman]

Walk


Jam


Nitty gritty

... we're listening to the boy from the big bad city?

[Voltan (Man of Steel)]

Is it me or is this jam hot?

[Ray Travez]

no, the jam is definitely rather hot

[Nowhere Man]

Especially Bruce Foxton, what with that mullet. PHWOOAR

[dr_christian_troy]

WHY IS THIS JAM SO FUCKING HOT I HAVE BURNT THE ROOF OF MY MOUTH

[Head Gardener]

I reached a "fuck this" point in the mid 80's so I sold all my records n stuff, put all my clothes in a backpack and hitched off from Newport Pagnell services
with no real plan of where to go except Europe. I ended up travelling though France/Austria/Switzerland just relying on the kindness of strangers really.
I slept rough most of the time (it was warm enough) but ended up meeting some folks who convinced me to go to Crete where they were going to work
on fruit farms/building sites etc. There I found myself getting wasted most nights and actually getting bored of the work/pissed cycle that was just as possible
back home without the sunshine. So I ended up coming back across Europe ending up in Holland meeting a girl in a bar who later hooked up with me when
I got my arse back in Milton Keynes. We decided to save up, go to Australia and do the travel thing round Asia, so it all worked out in the end and I met lots of folk,
had some great (and truly awful) experiences and kept a diary of all my adventures, which will no doubt become a bestseller when I can be arsed to write it and the
film rights will keep me in vinyl for the rest of my days.
So I guess what I'm saying is if you really have had enough of shit and don't have responsibilities etc then just do it!*

*but don't blame me if it goes tits up

[checkoutgirl]

If you say you want to go to Greece and be a Greek man you could always join a remote village and be a villager and tend to their farms and they'll let you live there and make you one of them and marry you off to a nice village maiden. Maybe try going on an island.

That's similar to just going to a kibbutz in Israel. Food and board provided and a stipend with a steady stream of young horny girls just passing through. Only snag is you can't just do nothing such is my understanding. It's manual work all the way.

Nick Frost recounts his experience in one in a podcast. Had to leave the country for his own safety so shacked up in a kibbutz for 2 years or so. He made it sound like a decent option for malcontents who've basically just had enough and whose highlight of the week is buying a frozen pizza, ideal for kittens I imagine.