Author Topic: Pyramids  (Read 1345 times)

touchingcloth

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Pyramids
« on: June 12, 2019, 10:51:13 PM »
MiL: I've started sleeping with pyramids under my bed.
Me: Like a bed of nails?
MiL: No.
Me: But they're spiking you through the mattress?
MiL: No. They're only made of paper, and they're on the floor.
Me: Why? What do they do?
MiL: It's for the energy.
Me: What?
MiL: The shape. Energy.
Me: What?




What?

Buelligan

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Re: Pyramids
« Reply #1 on: June 12, 2019, 10:55:31 PM »
Have her put away in a home.  It's obviously what she wants.

I believe it is an actual fact, here is sunny France, that your local mayor can decide you're not fit to be out on your own and have you summarily locked up.  I know the mayor here, quite well, I could send him over if you like.

touchingcloth

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Re: Pyramids
« Reply #2 on: June 12, 2019, 10:57:18 PM »
I've put her in a pyramid.

Buelligan

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Re: Pyramids
« Reply #3 on: June 12, 2019, 10:58:32 PM »
Ask her if it's sexual energy and whether she'd like to talk it over with you.

touchingcloth

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Re: Pyramids
« Reply #4 on: June 12, 2019, 11:05:16 PM »
We've fucked it out already, but I'm still none the wiser about the pyramids.

kittens

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Re: Pyramids
« Reply #5 on: June 12, 2019, 11:19:14 PM »
there's gotta be something about pyramids. egypts did em now granma. there gotta be something about pyramids don't there but i don't know what it is yet.

Captain Z

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Re: Pyramids
« Reply #6 on: June 12, 2019, 11:24:37 PM »
'Ere, I tell you, my MiL is so vast, they discovered a whole city of pyramids buried beneath 'er.

Alberon

  • His heart is an empty fridge
Re: Pyramids
« Reply #7 on: June 12, 2019, 11:25:44 PM »
The pharaohs got it wrong. You shouldn’t be buried in a big stone pyramid but sleep above small paper ones.

You’ll be laughing on the other side of your face when your Mother in law lives forever.

finnquark

  • come un sogno che va via, ti svegli triste
Re: Pyramids
« Reply #8 on: June 12, 2019, 11:31:09 PM »
The head honcho here builds a pyramid before retiring in glory. Then the next head honcho is obligated to hold their staff meetings in the tomb of their predecessors career, all whilst planning their own pyramid for ten years down the road. Sadly for the incumbent, we are out of space, so they are looking at a site fifty miles away for a new set of pyramids, with no limits to their splendour.

touchingcloth

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Re: Pyramids
« Reply #9 on: June 12, 2019, 11:31:54 PM »
The pharaohs got it wrong. You shouldn’t be buried in a big stone pyramid but sleep above small paper ones.

You’ll be laughing on the other side of your face when your Mother in law lives forever.

Her ones are the size of pharaonic pyramids, but her bed is on stilts.

Bum Flaps

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Re: Pyramids
« Reply #10 on: June 12, 2019, 11:57:12 PM »
Are you sure she's not talking about Barry 'Egyptian' Pyramids from down the road? He's a notorious MiL botherer.

Cuntbeaks

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Re: Pyramids
« Reply #11 on: June 13, 2019, 12:00:20 AM »
Under the bed, beside the briefcase full of dildos.

Shaky

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Re: Pyramids
« Reply #12 on: June 13, 2019, 12:40:20 AM »
MiL: I've started sleeping with pyramids under my bed.
Me: Like a bed of nails?
MiL: No.
Me: But they're spiking you through the mattress?
MiL: No. They're only made of paper, and they're on the floor.
Me: Why? What do they do?
MiL: It's for the energy.
Me: What?
MiL: The shape. Energy.
Me: What?




What?

Who's MiL?

Re: Pyramids
« Reply #13 on: June 13, 2019, 12:42:52 AM »
Mother in law?

Shaky

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Re: Pyramids
« Reply #14 on: June 13, 2019, 12:43:52 AM »
I think so, was making a lame attempt at a funny.

Elderly Sumo Prophecy

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Re: Pyramids
« Reply #15 on: June 13, 2019, 12:51:14 AM »
I used to store pornographic magazines under my bed. It was also for the energy. I still love you Claire Cass from Yeovil, Mayfair August 1995! I expended an awful amount of positive energy over her.

Re: Pyramids
« Reply #16 on: June 13, 2019, 12:53:20 AM »
How about a one way ticket to Stockport. They've got a biggun.

JesusAndYourBush

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Re: Pyramids
« Reply #17 on: June 13, 2019, 01:43:16 AM »
MiL: I've started sleeping with pyramids under my bed.
Me: Like a bed of nails?
MiL: No.
Me: But they're spiking you through the mattress?
MiL: No. They're only made of paper, and they're on the floor.
Me: Why? What do they do?
MiL: It's for the energy.
Me: What?
MiL: The shape. Energy.
Me: What?




What?

She's been reading "Pyramid Power", a book that originally came out in the 70's.  She's got it wrong though, you were supposed to hang it *above* your bed.

Re: Pyramids
« Reply #18 on: June 13, 2019, 02:13:37 AM »
There was a myth going about, no idea where it came from (maybe the now debunked author of Chariots of the Gods), which posited that if you put a blunt razorblade in a pyramid-type structure (even a small one) it would sharpen itself over a period of time because of "energy".

JesusAndYourBush

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Re: Pyramids
« Reply #19 on: June 13, 2019, 02:42:31 AM »
There was a myth going about, no idea where it came from (maybe the now debunked author of Chariots of the Gods), which posited that if you put a blunt razorblade in a pyramid-type structure (even a small one) it would sharpen itself over a period of time because of "energy".

Yeah that's from the Pyramid Power book too.  Basically it instructed you to make a 4-sided cardboard pyramid using directions in the book so the triangles were the correct ratio, then you could do various things with it...

Hang it above your bed making sure the sides were aligned north-south.  Putting razor blades under it (on a slightly raised platform) was supposed to sharpen the blades.  Putting food under it was supposed to keep the food fresh for longer compared to your control (a simple cardboard box shape).  There were other powers, helping seeds germinate quicker might have been another one.  I might still have the book somewhere, not seen it in years.

Re: Pyramids
« Reply #20 on: June 13, 2019, 02:55:47 AM »
Who was behind Pyramid Power? Was it also the origin of tin foil pyramid hats for positive thinking and blocking out government transmissions?

Re: Pyramids
« Reply #21 on: June 13, 2019, 03:16:15 AM »
Yeah that's from the Pyramid Power book too.

PLEASE tell me that is a shit magazine dedicated to all things pyramid.

Re: Pyramids
« Reply #22 on: June 13, 2019, 03:40:09 AM »
Has she joined The KLF?

chveik

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Re: Pyramids
« Reply #23 on: June 13, 2019, 04:04:01 AM »

Mister Six

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Re: Pyramids
« Reply #24 on: June 13, 2019, 04:59:57 AM »
MiL: I've started sleeping with pyramids under my bed.
Me: Like a bed of nails?
MiL: No.
Me: But they're spiking you through the mattress?
MiL: No. They're only made of paper, and they're on the floor.
Me: Why? What do they do?
MiL: It's for the energy.
Me: What?
MiL: The shape. Energy.
Me: What?




What?

Goodness, is it the 1980s again? I thought we were done with them.

Have her put away in a home.  It's obviously what she wants.

I believe it is an actual fact, here is sunny France, that your local mayor can decide you're not fit to be out on your own and have you summarily locked up.  I know the mayor here, quite well, I could send him over if you like.

You are Belle from Beauty and the Beast AICM£5.

chveik

  • who's gonna feed them hogs?
Re: Pyramids
« Reply #25 on: June 13, 2019, 05:12:54 AM »
I believe it is an actual fact, here is sunny France, that your local mayor can decide you're not fit to be out on your own and have you summarily locked up.  I know the mayor here, quite well, I could send him over if you like.

it's true but the person must be examined by a psychiatrist first in order to establish if they can be 'dangerous' or not.

http://psyfontevraud.free.fr/cours/9-hdt.htm


biggytitbo

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Re: Pyramids
« Reply #26 on: June 13, 2019, 07:55:05 AM »
Of course the big daddy of all pyramids at Giza has 8 sides, not 4.

BlodwynPig

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Re: Pyramids
« Reply #27 on: June 13, 2019, 08:14:00 AM »
Xitintoday, Jam Tomorrow

Paul Calf

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Re: Pyramids
« Reply #28 on: June 13, 2019, 08:14:05 AM »
There was a myth going about, no idea where it came from (maybe the now debunked author of Chariots of the Gods), which posited that if you put a blunt razorblade in a pyramid-type structure (even a small one) it would sharpen itself over a period of time because of "energy".

Chariots of the Gods was debunked? How much of a lunch break did that take, I wonder?

biggytitbo

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Re: Pyramids
« Reply #29 on: June 13, 2019, 08:48:55 AM »
Chariots of the Gods is all true apart from the bits that aren't.