Pun titles that aren't fucking puns

[Howj Begg]

It's not that you jerks, is that he can't switch off even when he's not at work and still ends up policing a situation thousands of miles outside his jurisdiction. Being a cop is the old habit.

It's not that is hard for him to die you fucking goblins.

Thanks. Got to be honest I've only seen half the film and was bored by it anyway.

[Kryton]

Florist near me called Back to the fuschia which I thought was quite good and made me chuckle from time to time, until I realised it made no sense.

[popcorn]

It's not that you jerks, is that he can't switch off even when he's not at work and still ends up policing a situation thousands of miles outside his jurisdiction. Being a cop is the old habit.

If this is true then everyone is saying it wrong. It should be "Die Hard" (verb + adverb), not "Die Hard" (noun). smh.

[a duncandisorderly]

If this is true then everyone is saying it wrong. It should be "Die Hard" (verb + adverb), not "Die Hard" (noun). smh.

this has made me wonder if the title of the movie came from the casting director....

[Harpo Speaks]

It's German for 'The Hard'.

It's clearly a reference to A Hard Day's Night, which appears on Hans Gruber's favourite Beatles album 'The Best of the Beatles'.

[Gregory Torso]

It's German for 'The Hard'.

mate

"Die Hard" is what Hans Gruber calls his gang, you idiots.

[Mr Banlon]

'Die Hard' is a well known car battery company in the US.
There's a lot of physical battery in the film and Willis's performance is electric.

[Elderly Sumo Prophecy]

I used to have a German magazine called Die Hard when I was about 14, until mum found it and threw it away.

[Ray Travez]

A hairdressers in Ladybarn called 'Cut Out Of Town'. That's not a phrase! There are literally hundreds of perfectly serviceable hairdresser puns, and they go for that. Idiots

[Lisa Jesusandmarychain]

A hairdressers in Ladybarn called 'Cut Out Of Town'. That's not a phrase! There are literally hundreds of perfectly serviceable hairdresser puns, and they go for that. Idiots

It's based on the phrase "Cunt Off Out Of Town". Have you not heard that expression before? I've heard it loads of times.

[salr]

from here: https://www.reddit.com/r/CasualUK/comments/bzibf9/best_name_ever/

[Ray Travez]

It's based on the phrase "Cunt Off Out Of Town". Have you not heard that expression before? I've heard it loads of times.

Oh fair enough, I have heard that expression a lot, particularly when I'm in town for some reason.

[Ray Travez]

As an aside, I went for my first cut-throat shave on Wednesday at a barbering college. The guy giving it, it was his first time as well. Anyway, it came up that his surname was Savage. 'oh' i sez, 'you'll be able to open a salon and call it 'Savage Cuts'!

He sez 'No. I'm going to call it SAVAGED'

I didn't say anything, but not sure that creates the best impression for a guy who offers cut-throat shaves

[touchingcloth]

from here: https://www.reddit.com/r/CasualUK/comments/bzibf9/best_name_ever/

If that's the one in Bristol, I've had the stinking trot from it. Avoid at all costs. Would go again, C-.

[Morrison Lard]

Is this a pun on something or a shop just barely meeting the absolute bare minimum requirements?



It's in Lincoln, if you're ever there and peckish.

Desolation set meal for one, please.

[Mr Banlon]

There was this place near my mate's house.

It was a reference to this : https://youtu.be/opDbLMsmjHE?t=598

[QDRPHNC]

Used to be a fast food place near me called the Hindenburger.

[popcorn]

This is only acceptable if it is owned by someone called Jason.

[David Pielingtonburygrot]

Need your property restored by someone who knows their Marxist doctrine inside out?

http://topmarx.co.uk/

[pigamus]

There's a chip shop near us called 'The Cod's Scallops' which doesn't work as a pun and because of this, I can never remember its name.

Do scallops still exist?

[a duncandisorderly]

Do scallops still exist?

[mothman]

Strictly Come Dancing is actually a meaningless title.

[Lordofthefiles]

Strictly Come Dancing is actually a meaningless title.

Unless they actually enforce the ejaculation aspect without remorse.
You never know what goes on behind the scenes at the BBC.

[idunnosomename]

Fortnite does have forts and the original one player survival game was set over 12 nights.

I learnt this from Radio 4

[popcorn]

Fortnite does have forts and the original one player survival game was set over 12 nights.

Twelve nights?!

[flotemysost]

Kebab shop in Bournemouth called Natural Bourne Grillers, there's two puns for your money but that somehow makes it less satisfying.

Also I don't know if the area has ever otherwise been referred to as 'Bourne'. Unless it was an attempt to shoe-horn in a reference to the eponymous Matt Damon thriller franchise, which would be pretty desperate. Rubbish all round.

Unless they actually enforce the ejaculation aspect without remorse.
You never know what goes on behind the scenes at the BBC.

Most people refer to it as Strictly but I've got a friend who inexplicably calls it Strictly Come, which sounds like some sort of classroom kink themed erotica.

[jobotic]

There's plumber's van up the road for a one man company called "Ware's The Plumber?". I don't live in Ware so I assume it's his name.

The pun suggests unreliability to me.

[mojo filters]

Strictly Come Dancing is actually a meaningless title.

Indeed, I've always wondered what that title was meant to imply? I've always imagined a pseudo-classical Roman entertainment, whereby folks were forced to dance - with some real or implicit perilous consequences.

Obviously like all casual critics, I've never watched the show and hence feel thoroughly entitled to pass judgement. I vaguely recall a crappy dated show called Come Dancing, from growing up in an age before normal folks had VCRs or whatever - hence you were just forced to watch whatever misguided scheduling presented on the tellybox.

Given that I arrogantly presume the modern version is focused on a mix of D/E-list celebs dancing with folks who for some godforsaken reason have managed to parlay their pathetic careers into some quasi-profession, I'm still at a loss to understand the how there is anything strict about the format?

[flotemysost]

Indeed, I've always wondered what that title was meant to imply? I've always imagined a pseudo-classical Roman entertainment, whereby folks were forced to dance - with some real or implicit perilous consequences.

Obviously like all casual critics, I've never watched the show and hence feel thoroughly entitled to pass judgement. I vaguely recall a crappy dated show called Come Dancing, from growing up in an age before normal folks had VCRs or whatever - hence you were just forced to watch whatever misguided scheduling presented on the tellybox.

Given that I arrogantly presume the modern version is focused on a mix of D/E-list celebs dancing with folks who for some godforsaken reason have managed to parlay their pathetic careers into some quasi-profession, I'm still at a loss to understand the how there is anything strict about the format?

Maybe a clunky mashup with Strictly Ballroom? It's a weird name either way.

Another thing that sounds like it should be a pun: Phil Collin's autobiography is called Not Dead Yet. I'm not very familiar with his oeuvre but I automatically assumed it must be a reference to/play on a lyric or song title - but according to Wikipedia:

The Not Dead Yet Tour is a concert tour by English recording artist Phil Collins, named after his autobiography released on 25 October 2016.

which suggests the book title is a standalone thing, is it genuinely just a reference to the fact that he's not dead? Is it some kind of macabre in-joke among his fans, like Brucie on this place?

[mojo filters]

One curiosity that has caught my eye in the UK is "Victorian Plumbing."

Why who would not want dated versions of modern conveniences? My bathroom appliances are far too comfortable - let's get back to basics: piss, shit and wash like the famously tiny tubby Queen!

Retro lead poisoning seems like a neat way to subsequently and cosily revisit the era of mass incarceration for future generations - what's to lose?