Best blasphemes

[Elderly Sumo Prophecy]

By the Virgin Mary's sopping great fanny this is a nice bit of gammon and no mistake.

[gilbertharding]

'Sweet fancy Moses.'

[Pingers]

'Sweet fancy Moses.'

I'm having that one cheers

[Dr Rock]

Jumpin Jodi Cromer!

I meant to say it at the hospital yesterday when they stuck all the big needles in my foot but instead I just screamed and held the nurse's hand.

[Jittlebags]

Have we had a "Wank me Jesus" yet? I think that will me 'go to' for a while.

[Elderly Sumo Prophecy]

Have we had a "Wank me Jesus" yet? I think that will me 'go to' for a while.

I don't think that bit from The Exorcist with the crucifix is worded quite that way.

[zomgmouse]

Christ on a fucking pogo stick!
Christ's crack!
Christ's fuck of pussy!
Cunting Christ!
Jesus fuck!
Holy fucking cunt!
Jesus fucking Christicles!
Christ on a twat!
Christing fuck!

[touchingcloth]

Christ's fat cock

Christ/God's fat cock are great blasphemes.

[timebug]

A favourite of my friend and colleague Paul,was when John B ( a fellow colleague) got on his high horse.John B's father was a CofE Vicar as it goes.
Paul would sigh and say 'Jesus H Christ on a fucking raft!'. John B was often inconsolable for the rest of the day!

[a duncandisorderly]

Christ on a fucking pogo stick!
Christ's crack!
Christ's fuck of pussy!
Cunting Christ!
Jesus fuck!
Holy fucking cunt!
Jesus fucking Christicles!
Christ on a twat!
Christing fuck!

>the jesus & mary chain (the real ones) consider rewrite.<

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ORIbX0k2Cr8

[Lisa Jesusandmarychain]

Jumpin Jodi Cromer!

I meant to say it at the hospital yesterday when they stuck all the big needles in my foot but instead I just screamed and held the nurse's hand.

You know, in some ways, I'm actually quite proud of this.

<sub>I know it should be fucking COMER (and JODIE) but I'm not going to rise to that.


I'd definitely rise to...Oh, never mind.</sub>

[Lisa Jesusandmarychain]

I used to say "Christ in Sainsbury's " and "Christ in a clap clinic" quite often. Might start saying them again soon, who knows?

Used to say "Jesus Minogue" too, but that one's a bit rubbish.

Not blaspheming, but was quite given to saying "What in the name of Lindsey Lohan's lubricated labia....", but that's a bit dated now. Also got told off once when I was overheard using it too another teacher, within earshot of students.

[Jittlebags]

Holy Chode Batman.

[Bazooka]

You ugly idiot.

I can hear a dumb cunt in the room, oh its you!

Is your name John Shit? I think it is.

[a duncandisorderly]

Is your name John Shit? I think it is.

I do rather like that.