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WEIRD SHIT WHERE IS WEIRD SHIT

Started by Mark Steels Stockbroker, June 15, 2019, 08:23:19 PM

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Mark Steels Stockbroker

Seeing as I'm stuck waiting for my takeaway order to be made ready and having to listen to some stupid woman's opinions on the Roman Empire and religion and every other topic ever mentioned on Mastermind, give me some proper weird shit to read. Mad unsolved disappearances, UFOs etc.

bgmnts

Why is a stupid woman talking to you about the Roman Empire whilst waiting for a takeaway?

kittens

i was saving a pretty big shit in my girlfriend's toilet, i go round there the other day and it's gone. she swears she didn't flush it. so who stole my shit, and why?


Mark Steels Stockbroker

I'm in a Nepalese restaurant, waiting for my takeaway order to turn up. Nearby are the seated customers. A really stupid woman is talking to 3 dull relatives although she's gone to the loo right now. I imagine her monologue is continuing in there... oh, she's back again.


Have they gone out to catch these bloody prawns?


Urinal Cake

And that woman was Mary Berry.
Or Mary Beard. Whichever is the one.

Quote from: Urinal Cake on June 15, 2019, 08:35:32 PM
And that woman was Mary Berry.
Or Mary Beard. Whichever is the one.

Paul Hollyweird.


idunnosomename

Boris Johnson is probably going to be the next Prime Minister of the United Kingdom

kittens

Quote from: kittens on June 15, 2019, 08:25:19 PM
i was saving a pretty big shit in my girlfriend's toilet, i go round there the other day and it's gone. she swears she didn't flush it. so who stole my shit, and why?

didn't even realise this works as like a joke on the title of the thread like 'where is... shit'. was just telling a creepy true-life story. i guess that me accidentally making a joke is pretty creepy in itself, as well. feeling pretty spooked up rn

kittens

Quote from: idunnosomename on June 15, 2019, 09:07:03 PM
Boris Johnson is probably going to be the next Prime Minister of the United Kingdom

what, that buffoon from have i got news for you? he will never be prime minister!!

i'm trying a thing where i act like a person in a tv show and like it's set in the past and someone says something that does happen in the future but in a way that's like that'll never happen like 'that obama boy from down the road? he'll never be president!' or 'that hulk hogan fellow from round the corner? he'll never be a superstar professional wrestler!' but it's about things that haven't happened yet but might. i don't know how good of an idea this is but feel free to use it.

idunnosomename

Quote from: kittens on June 15, 2019, 09:14:33 PM
what, that buffoon from have i got news for you? he will never be prime minister!!

i'm trying a thing where i act like a person in a tv show and like it's set in the past and someone says something that does happen in the future but in a way that's like that'll never happen like 'that obama boy from down the road? he'll never be president!' or 'that hulk hogan fellow from round the corner? he'll never be a superstar professional wrestler!' but it's about things that haven't happened yet but might. i don't know how good of an idea this is but feel free to use it.
james corden? that fat cunt? he'll never be a superstar american late night talk show host!

kittens

no, you see, that has already happened. the concept is we are doing it about things that have not happened yet.

kittens

but thank you very much for contributing nonetheless

biggytitbo

The FBI has released their Largefoot files, revealing least of all that the FBI investigated Largefoot - https://www.history.com/news/bigfoot-fbi-file-investigation-discovery

Mark Steels Stockbroker

Quote from: bgmnts on June 15, 2019, 08:31:19 PM
What makes her stupid?

She thought The Goodies were better on ITV.

Ferris

Quote from: kittens on June 15, 2019, 09:14:33 PM
what, that buffoon from have i got news for you? he will never be prime minister!!

i'm trying a thing where i act like a person in a tv show and like it's set in the past and someone says something that does happen in the future but in a way that's like that'll never happen like 'that obama boy from down the road? he'll never be president!' or 'that hulk hogan fellow from round the corner? he'll never be a superstar professional wrestler!' but it's about things that haven't happened yet but might. i don't know how good of an idea this is but feel free to use it.

I don't follow this idea, is it a sort of satire?

steve98

Not the way I do it.

Observe:

My Mum: That Hibart women [From #7] will never be on the resident's committee.

Me [Years later]: That Mrs Hibart from #7's been accepted onto the resident's committee.

I just like present it as a historical narrative


kittens

Quote from: FerriswheelBueller on June 16, 2019, 04:11:28 AM
I don't follow this idea, is it a sort of satire?

i guess? i don't think there's any point to it at all really.

zomgmouse

I do miss the old "creepy weird shit" threads. More please.

Replies From View

Quote from: kittens on June 15, 2019, 09:38:00 PM
no, you see, that has already happened. the concept is we are doing it about things that have not happened yet.

That Nepalesian Strawbanging Hovergate?!

He'll never run his own camping equipment store in the year 2023!!!!

alan nagsworth

get your prawns alright in the end did you mark steels stockbroker mate

Replies From View

There aren't even any prawns left that's the mystery mate

Replies From View

See that prawns?


No you can't because there aren't any.  If you said yes you are lying

Phil_A

Surviving photos from the Dyatlov Pass incident:

https://dyatlovpass.com/camera-krivonischenko

It turns out a yeti did it.


idunnosomename

Quote from: kittens on June 15, 2019, 09:38:00 PM
no, you see, that has already happened.
whaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaat

Lisa Jesusandmarychain

Quote from: alan nagsworth on June 16, 2019, 12:04:27 PM
get your prawns alright in the end did you mark steels stockbroker mate

I thought it was quite funny when he was complaining about the prawns, he sounded just like Victor Meldrew.