If your partner had limited earning power...

[Buelligan]

When you write things people will respond to the words that you wrote and not the ones that you meant.

Well, you respond pretty regularly and you always turn it up to eleven, so why not just ignore my posts in future?  It really isn't your job to monitor and correct me.  Hope you understand.  Thanks in advance.

[Twed]

Why don't you ignore biggy?

(I do actually have you blocked out via the ignore script, but unfortunately that doesn't carry across to my phone browser and against my better judgement I didn't take care in noticing who I was objecting to earlier)

When you say something shitty and people respond to that, it isn't a conspiracy. We backed down graciously, giving you more credit than you earned, but even then you felt like you needed to try to engineer the situation to make yourself look not only innocent but bullied. You're not good at hiding the hideousness that occasionally escapes from you, so maybe you shouldn't waste energy trying.

[Alberon]

Wow.  A grand a month is quite a bit more than I get in a month and you're in British pounds too.  If I lost a grand a month I'd be paying people a wage to let me live or something.  I'm not paying for this shit anyway, I'd demand my money back.

We've been very lucky. Relatively rich parents and buying a house at the right time. When my wife was earning more most of it went on mortgage repayments. Our other troubles (which I won't go into) started at the point we were able to pay off our mortgage so at no point were we suddenly very short or flush with money.

Even so we have to balance everything carefully and we're not able to save anything. But we still know that financially we're better off than many.

[Buelligan]

Nah, good for you on the money front (genuinely), I was only using your remark as an excuse to think about asking for my money back/the cost of living.

[imitationleather]

But what if your partner had limited fuck power?

[phes]

I give limited fucks in all respects

[Buelligan]

I had one that did once, they could fuck anything.

[Alberon]

Nah, good for you on the money front (genuinely), I was only using your remark as an excuse to think about asking for my money back/the cost of living.

Yeah, I know. People are being screwed over left right and centre. It's why there's more extremist politics around. The system is broken and the generations younger than me won't have it as good as me, just as I will probably fall behind my parents. I don't know how I'm going to pay for private health insurance as the NHS dies.

[Buelligan]

When I get sick I'm planning to take Jeremy Cunt with me.

[Johnny Yesno]

But what if your partner had limited fuck power?

Even worse, what if they had limited funk power?

I require this as a minimum, or I'm out: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cRcaM27huG4

[Icehaven]

Kind of on topic, one of the most piss-boiling things I find about THE STATE OF THINGS etc. is that it's increasingly out of reach to live a 'normal' life (i.e. rent/buy a reasonably OK home, run a car, go on holiday, go out some evenings, save) on one income that isn't way above the national average.

What someone above said about a way of having relationships where you don't mesh the nuts and bolts/practicalities of your life is probably very appealing to far more people than can actually do it, as it really is just so much cheaper to pair up, but then you're stuck aren't you? I'm quite happy now in my fairly conventional relationship (i.e. monogamous, co-habiting), however I still prefer to keep finances and all that fairly separate, and for neither of us to be dependent on each other. I'm lucky now in that I can do that but in the not-so-distant past I ended up in a houseshare with a bunch of strangers due to my relationship ending and there being simply no way I could afford to rent even a bedsit by myself.   

[Jockice]

Right, this is incredibly pertinent to me at the moment. I'm the one disabled/ill and on benefits here but I'm better off than my partner. She has a not well-paid part-time job, a mortgage and two kids (only one of whom lives with her, but the other seems to be round all the time eating her out of house and home). I paid off my own mortgage when my parents died in the first few years of the century (it's a one-bedroom flat which I bought in the early nineties so it was only 35 grand) and invested most of the rest, not because I wanted to make a fortune but because I couldn't think of anything to do with it. I'm just not that interested in money. My parents didn't have a mansion by the way, just a terraced house. The money was split between my sister and I. As far as I know she's spent most of it.

Anyway,  I've been helping my girlfriend out financially quite a bit. All well and good. I don't mind. It's not leaving me skint and I'm just not money-minded anyway. Anyway, she's been really stressed out recently with all sorts of stuff.

Last time I saw her she got pissed and had a general moan about all her usual subjects (family, ex-husband, work etc). Then suddenly said I'd let her down too a couple of times. In what way I asked. Apparently I promised to pay for a couple of things but didn't. Now I did know of the things she then mentioned but as far as I can remember I had paid for one of them and she'd mentioned the other, I said okay and then didn't hear any more. I could be wrong but neither were nearly as big events in my life as they obviously were to her.

I am so pissed off about this that I'm seriously tempted to tell her to fuck off. I actually think I've been extremely generous (unlike her family - who are fucking loaded by the way) and I've contributed a lot to her legal bills after her acrimonious divorce (bugger all to do with me, they'd split up before we even met) as well as many other things.

She's lovely in loads of other ways and as I said she has been very stressed out recently (and doesn't usually lash out at me) so I'm not sure what way this will go. But just imagine me being on this site and not having a girlfriend? What on earth would I talk about?

[Lisa Jesusandmarychain]

Your big ol' mate Jarvis from Pulp? Having red hair? Finchy not being the least bit shocked at being told to fuck off ?

[Buelligan]

Yeah, you'd be right Jockice.  Just pretend to have one like Danger Man, nobody minds.

I can't give you advice on the rest but you're always very welcome to borrow the trebuchet, just give me the nod.

[phes]

Kind of on topic, one of the most piss-boiling things I find about THE STATE OF THINGS etc. is that it's increasingly out of reach to live a 'normal' life (i.e. rent/buy a reasonably OK home, run a car, go on holiday, go out some evenings, save) on one income that isn't way above the national average.

What someone above said about a way of having relationships where you don't mesh the nuts and bolts/practicalities of your life is probably very appealing to far more people than can actually do it, as it really is just so much cheaper to pair up, but then you're stuck aren't you? I'm quite happy now in my fairly conventional relationship (i.e. monogamous, co-habiting), however I still prefer to keep finances and all that fairly separate, and for neither of us to be dependent on each other. I'm lucky now in that I can do that but in the not-so-distant past I ended up in a houseshare with a bunch of strangers due to my relationship ending and there being simply no way I could afford to rent even a bedsit by myself.

That was me. I was a support worker at the top of my pay scale for a long time and loved it, but because I've come to realise that I am happier and more able to bring happiness to others when I live alone, i've had to train for a professional role so that I'm able to afford to do so. And this is still only possible through renting and because I have no child payments, minimal existing debt (a student loan) and don't have any desire for anything beyond basic and practical. It is a frustration that we have little between shared accommodation and unaffordable housing to offer the expanding demographic of lone, childless people. Given that we are heading for - or already in - a civilisation collapse, that will mean a population decline, and that America's response to this and to falling birth rates is to dig coal and to strip away women's rights, I can't see us acknowledging or making any effort to improve the standard of living for lone people. More likely the opposite

[Jockice]

Your big ol' mate Jarvis from Pulp? Having red hair? Finchy not being the least bit shocked at being told to fuck off ?

Don't be silly. I've NEVER mentioned any of them. Although they are all true.

[canadagoose]

No idea where to start with all the replies, but thanks a lot for everyone's contributions anyway.

Jockice, seeing as you've got a question... it's hard to say, really. If you feel like she's taking advantage of you and you don't feel happy, I don't think there's anything wrong with breaking up with her. Don't mind what we'll think. There are more important things in life than bald unemployed people.*

*just kidding, they're the most important people in the world, honest

[Jockice]

Jockice, seeing as you've got a question... it's hard to say, really. If you feel like she's taking advantage of you and you don't feel happy, I don't think there's anything wrong with breaking up with her. Don't mind what we'll think. There are more important things in life than bald unemployed people.*

*just kidding, they're the most important people in the world, honest

I'm not bald! Balding definitely but not bald yet.

(Hard to say. It's been nearly five years and all that and I suppose all relationships go through dips. It just took me by surprise when suddenly I was included in the list of bastards when she's said many a time I was the one keeping her afloat. Financially and emotionally. She doesn't usually drink gin which she was on that occasion. May have brought something out of her. I'll see what happens. But I ain't too happy at the moment.)

[checkoutgirl]

I personally would blame the gin but maybe that's just me.

[Jockice]

I personally would blame the gin but maybe that's just me.

Gin is one of only three alcoholic drinks I can tolerate. I even had some that night. That's how pissed off I was.

[Danger Man]

Yeah, you'd be right Jockice.  Just pretend to have one like Danger Man, nobody minds.

What does this mean?

[Danger Man]

I can only assume that because Buelligan had a shit marriage that ended with her living in a cave then we all have to have a shit marriage with us living in a cave.

Sorry Buelligan, but I have inexplicably got a good marriage and you'll just have to live with that. In your cave.

[Buelligan]

I didn't have a shit marriage, are you mad?

What does this mean?

I thought you famously teased people for not having women-partners or for making them up whilst talking frequently about your own and I thought it would be amusing to imply that it was in fact you who was pretending.  Obviously I was wrong.

Were you making it up then?

[Danger Man]

I didn't have a shit marriage, are you mad?

So...you had a good marriage...and moaned about it on here....and ran off to live in a cave?

It's all very confusing.

[Buelligan]

But you're so right, you read me like a leaflet. 

I've had multiple really rather poor marriages and, in the end, realised my only choice was to set up home in a cave (which I hate) as a sort of balance to the marriages.  Kind of like a yin yang marriage cave obvious relationship.  It's a living nightmare but I deserve it, having had these highly regrettable E- nuptials.

I'm sorry I doubted your wife's existence.  I promise never to imagine her existing or not existing again if possible.  If not possible, I apologise in advance for any offence I may unwittingly cause by laughing, in my imagination or in reality, at either you or her. 

[Danger Man]

I'm sorry that Twed saw through you earlier in this thread (It's amazing that so few do) but there's no need to take it out on me.

Night night.

[mr. logic]

But you're so right, you read me like a leaflet. 

I've had multiple really rather poor marriages and, in the end, realised my only choice was to set up home in a cave (which I hate) as a sort of balance to the marriages.  Kind of like a yin yang marriage cave obvious relationship.  It's a living nightmare but I deserve it, having had these highly regrettable E- nuptials.

I'm sorry I doubted your wife's existence.  I promise never to imagine her existing or not existing again if possible.  If not possible, I apologise in advance for any offence I may unwittingly cause by laughing, in my imagination or in reality, at either you or her.

Not really on bringing partners and spouses into things.

[chveik]

yes, and that's the reason why most people here take the persona of single bald men.

[Buelligan]

And, knowing that, those that constantly reference their own marriages and partnerships, in this very thread for instance

I'd just like to add that both me and my wife make quite a bit of money but she makes loads more than me (for now) and we love each other very much. 

are inviting ridicule (or at least a little gentle finger-pointing).

[tookish]

I was never bothered when I was one of the three of us who was working and bringing in money. There was a period where I was the only one; it was a bit tight and stressful but I didn't blame anyone. E was out of work for a year last year - again, stressful, but my main concern was trying to help her get out of the house and socialising, rather than being focussed on her earning power.

Now that I'm out of work though, I feel very differently about it. Lots of guilt and shame.