Never Getting Married

[Lisa Jesusandmarychain]

I've noticed that a few people on here tend, when the moment is relevant, to mention their spouses, whether they be real (like, say, Alberon's) or pretend (like, say, Danger Man's ), and then it occurs to me that I'm never, ever getting married, ever. This is something I've adjusted to over time, although occasionally I'm prone to think "Looks like I'm not getting married, then. Birrova shame, that."
Is there anyone else on here who's never getting married? How do they feel about that?

[BlodwynPig]

Good for you

[alan nagsworth]

Is this some sort of reference to me not being married?

[Buelligan]

I'm married and so is my wife.

[Lisa Jesusandmarychain]

Some excellent replies so far. I knew I wouldn't regret starting this thread.

[Jockice]

Will Never Marry is one of my favourite Morrissey songs. So now you know.

[BlodwynPig]

Some excellent replies so far. I knew I wouldn't regret starting this thread.

You're the person i imagine finding a wife in your later years. Betty at the Bingo or Florence at the nursing home. I'll be smiling down on the late blooming couple from Hell

[Icehaven]

Presuming you mean actually legally married, I'm 99% certain I never will (unless it became more practical to be married than not. And I don't mean just to save £200 a year on tax or something stupid like that), and I'm fine with that, it's never been something I wanted to do.
I think there should be absolutely no practical or legal advantages to being married, the age minimum should be 30, and you have to be able to prove beyond any doubt that you've been together at least 3 years and lived together for at least one year. The divorce rate would plummet.

[Inspector Norse]

the age minimum should be 30, and you have to be able to prove beyond any doubt that you've been together at least 3 years and lived together for at least one year.

But what if you got your girl pregnant on prom night and her daddy expects you to do the honourable thing and yes, there will be a position at the company for you but do not expect promotion and don't ever let him hear that you haven't been doing right by that girl, do you hear me goddammit?

[Pijlstaart]

No-one has asked to marry me, not even the most vulnerable in society. It is the least they could do for me, and an insult. You bruise my ego, I bruise your face, capiche!?

We must all be married, I say, a heaving sticky web, pulsating and shrieking, together forever. 

[Danger Man]

I've noticed that a few people on here tend, when the moment is relevant, to mention their spouses, whether they be real (like, say, Alberon's) or pretend (like, say, Danger Man's )

In a shocking twist, my wife is real but I'M PRETEND!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[madhair60]

I'm glad you're not getting married, to be honest. Fucking stew on it.

[Lisa Jesusandmarychain]

In a shocking twist, my wife is real but I'M PRETEND!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I must say, I find that to be a very witty line, typical of your inventive and highly amusing sense of humour, and of a piece with your charming personality.

See, I can pretend, too!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[Lisa Jesusandmarychain]

I'm glad you're not getting married, to be honest. Fucking stew on it.

Why don't you draw one of your funny comic strips about me not getting married, I bet that'd be good, wouldn't it?
Anyway, I thought you were leaving.
ETA: Oh, you're not. Well, I didn't want you to, anyway.

[poo]

I'm glad you're not getting married, to be honest. Fucking stew on it.

Putting allegiances aside for a second, that is objectively funny.

[Bazooka]

Unless your willing to worship me like a god, I will not put a ring on your finger.

[idunnosomename]

I might get married as a favour for visa purposes I suppose

[Buelligan]

Unless your willing to worship me like a god, I will not put a ring on your finger.

Swivel mate.

[Danger Man]

I must say, I find that to be a very witty line, typical of your inventive and highly amusing sense of humour, and of a piece with your charming personality.
See, I can pretend, too!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Picture of Jodie Comer crying

[bgmnts]

I'm never, ever getting married, ever.

Taylor Swift considers rewrite.

[Beagle 2]

This is my current wife ha ha

[Alberon]

We stumbled over a programme on Channel 5 yesterday about sex dolls. That's always a solution I suppose.

Incidentally, the programme was awful even by Channel 5's standards. There was one scene where this guy is fucking a real doll, and yes they blurred most of it, but you could still hear the squish squish squish. That'll stay with me to my dying day.

What were we talking about? Oh yes, marry a sex doll.

[Buelligan]

Why are you watching someone fucking a sex doll with all the bits blurred out?

Ask yourself this.  Punch yourself (and your wife) in the face and move forward wiser.

[Alberon]

My wife wouldn't let me turn over and was laughing at my revulsion.

So I suppose that's the flipside of the marriage argument.

[Konki]

Despite being a thoroughly liberal gentleman I'm also a bit of a traditionalist and so decided on marrying a woman. This is because I can't bear the thought of having a man's strong arms hold me, or having to take his firm member in my mouth, or even lubing up his filthy, hairy arsehole and fucking him ragged. Nope, can't bear the thought of any of that.

[Buelligan]

If you marry him Konks, you'd never have to do it again.  That's the rules.

You should deffo punch your wife btw, Alberon.  (For that and everything else).  You can let yourself off with a warning this time, if you think that's fair.

[Hemulen]

My partner and I aren't married, and it's basically because we just can't be arsed at this point. We vaguely looked at having a more or less secret registry marriage a few years back but even that seemed like a lot of hassle for the sake of something that would effectively change nothing for us. Also cases like this rather put us off the whole notion. Might do the civil partnership thing now that that's becoming legal for us straight types, but that would still require us getting off our arses and actually organising it.

[Buelligan]

There are two couples in my village, who everyone assumes are married, together forever and ever, one lot has two (really nice) late teens kids and both lots are marrying soon after decades of unwedded bliss. 

I reckon its worries about rights and whatnot if one partner dies or becomes ill or something.  Other than that, I can't see any reason why (but that, IMO, is a pretty reasonable reason).

[zomgmouse]

Yes but think of the canapés

[Elderly Sumo Prophecy]

People get married because living in sin will cause you to burn forever in the lake of eternal hell fire when you die.