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Pity-invites

Started by pancreas, June 18, 2019, 12:14:31 PM

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pancreas

Feeling under immense pressure to pity-invite someone to the pub. I know he's feeling lonely. It's just he's got no chat whatsoever, apart from complaining that he's never invited to stuff. I drew the line at a house party. Current plan is to see if we can make him be friends with another pity-invite, then maybe they can saunter off into the sunset together.

Do you pity-invite people, or just wait for the natural wastage as they string themselves up from light-fittings?

Neville Chamberlain

I'm usually the pity-invitee :-(

pancreas

Oh, no! Do you want to come to the pub tonight?

Norton Canes

I like to invite as many people as I can then not show up

Buelligan

I never interact with other humans so it just doesn't come up.

madhair60

Quote from: Buelligan on June 18, 2019, 12:33:08 PM
I never interact with other humans so it just doesn't come up.

You're on a forum, BRAIN GENIOUS!

Buelligan

Haha.  As if anyone here could be considered "human".  Laugh's on you wiseass.

Now you're here though, do you fancy going to the pub at all?

seepage

they usually accept but then declare the official tried-and-tested rules "unrealistic" and demand to rewrite them from the ground up.

Icehaven

There was a news article this week that claimed 50% of British people only socialise once a month or less. Put that against what someone said in the pun thread about all these ads and restaurant promotions etc. pushing this idea of friends all getting together to eat all the time and it's easy to see how people can be made to feel like billies for not having this never ending parade of mates to do stuff with when the reality is most people don't (I've completely unscientifically decided that 50% statistic should truthfully be higher because a lot of responders just didn't want to look like billies.)

So in conclusion stuff your pity invites, you're the weirdoes.

New folder

I consider never getting invited to stuff a good thing

The Culture Bunker

Quote from: New folder on June 18, 2019, 12:49:38 PM
I consider never getting invited to stuff a good thing
Indeed. Having to leave the house to go to work is enough "outside time" for me, quite frankly.

Buelligan

Too much, if anything.

BlodwynPig

Quote from: pancreas on June 18, 2019, 12:14:31 PM
Feeling under immense pressure to pity-invite someone to the pub. I know he's feeling lonely. It's just he's got no chat whatsoever, apart from complaining that he's never invited to stuff. I drew the line at a house party. Current plan is to see if we can make him be friends with another pity-invite, then maybe they can saunter off into the sunset together.

Do you pity-invite people, or just wait for the natural wastage as they string themselves up from light-fittings?

:(

BlodwynPig


pancreas


PlanktonSideburns

Invite them to a canal and shove them in

They won't be missed

Their out of their misery

So are you

Done

madhair60

Quote from: Buelligan on June 18, 2019, 12:37:59 PM
Haha.  As if anyone here could be considered "human".  Laugh's on you wiseass.

Now you're here though, do you fancy going to the pub at all?

You'll have to pay I'm afraid.

Twed

Getting into that sweet position where people start learning that you don't want to be invited is where it's at.

Imagine being somebody who doesn't get invited but spends time complaining that they want to. Fuck being that.

bgmnts

Pretty sure most, if not all, of my social engagements have been pity invites. The only problem is there's no real way of confirming it in polite conversation.

PlanktonSideburns

Have you thought about maybe throwing battery acid in his face?

Harpo Speaks

Quote from: PlanktonSideburns on June 18, 2019, 02:52:52 PM
Invite them to a canal and shove them in

They won't be missed

The words, ladies and gentlemen, of CJ from Eggheads.

pancreas

Quote from: PlanktonSideburns on June 18, 2019, 05:36:32 PM
Have you thought about maybe throwing battery acid in his face?

Yes.

Paul Calf

Invite him out and try to knob him.

Sebastian Cobb

[tag]Mr T and Dwight Schultz spotted drinking together[/tag]

PlanktonSideburns

Quote from: pancreas on June 18, 2019, 06:18:47 PM
Yes.

In that case, tell him he can come, but say you have to let him know, in the name of fairness that you have just spent the best part of the afternoon entertaining the idea of horribly disfiguring his face and upper body in a, well not unprovoked, but maybe a little over the top attack

PlanktonSideburns


pancreas

To be honest, I'd rather dispensed with the idea of an acid attack, but you do make a reasonable case for it and I'll certainly think about taking this forward.

PlanktonSideburns

He could blame his unpopularity on his tragic phantom of the Opera like countenance, and of course you, which might be easier to deal with than his abyss like antimatter quadrant where his charm and personality should be. Better to be a comic book villain than a real life manifestation of Ross/chandler from friends

pancreas

You know what, I'm very impressed with your sense of purpose and I think you're the man to get this done. Shall I get you his address?

PlanktonSideburns

I've got his adress already actually, I had a suspicion it would go this way so I looked him up. Will spin by his place and splash him in the face tomorrow morning. I've a late start tomorrow