Toast

[Cerys]

It's great, isn't it?  Imagine being the person who invented toast.  You'd feel like a motherfucking god.

[Chollis]

Probably the best thing ever. I'd like to see which countries eat the most of it, we've got to be up there Clive.

[bgmnts]

I am one of those cunts who likes soft toast. Can't stand crunchy toast. I know it defeats the whole purpose of toast but fuck jt.

Also, from Wiki, what:

Toast has been used as an element of American haute cuisine since at least the 1850s.

[imitationleather]

I make my toast in the microwave.

[Cerys]

Probably the best thing ever. I'd like to see which countries eat the most of it, we've got to be up there Clive.

You may well be right.  And the scent of it!  If I could be surrounded by the scent of toast forever, I'd consider that a win.  Even burnt toast smells great.

[checkoutgirl]

It's great, isn't it?  Imagine being the person who invented toast.  You'd feel like a motherfucking god.

Prometheus invented toast. And now he's dead.

[poo]

butter on toast great
cheese on toast great
jam on toast great
marmite on toast great
avocado on toast grave

[Elderly Sumo Prophecy]

Do other countries eat toast? I don't think I've ever seen an American in a film put a slice of bread in a toaster, it's always a Pop Tart.

[bgmnts]

Do other countries eat toast? I don't think I've ever seen an American in a film put a slice of bread in a toaster, it's always a Pop Tart.

That's because its haute cuisine apparently.

[gilbertharding]

You might say... it's the best thing since... sliced bread.

[Neville Chamberlain]

Norwegians may not be the brightest people, but they eat an awful lot of toast! According to a study commissioned by the Financial Times, the average Norwegian eats 23 blue whales' worth of toast in just six months - that's enough toast to fill an area the size of Belgium 18 times over in just fifteen years. Or, to put it another way, if you were to turn a Norwegian full of toast upside down and lay him end to end with every other Norwegian who's eaten toast, they would stretch from La Paz in Bolivia all the way to a point just east of the Society Islands in the South Pacific 63 times.

So the next time you see a Norwegian, don't mock them for their limited intelligence or ludicrous clothing - instead, congratulate them on their tremendous toast consumption! Vel bekomme!

[Chollis]

Grave on toast

[Cerys]

Prometheus invented toast. And now he's dead.

Not just dead - having his liver repeatedly torn out and eaten by an eagle.  I bet that eagle wishes that Prometheus' liver was made of toast.  Prometheus probably wishes that, too.  'I wish my liver was made of toast,' he says, as the eagle slurps down gobbets of his untoast liver.  'I wish it was made of toast.'

[Norton Canes]

To Cerys!

[Cerys]

To ast, shurely?

[poo]

Grave on toast

Rather Pepsi Max crab

[Inspector Norse]

By the time you've finished putting all that shit on it, the toast has gone cold and manky. What is the fucking point?

[Inspector Norse]

Also they must have really shaky hands. Half the shit has missed the toast and landed on the table. My three-year-old daughter leaves the table in a better state.

[Cerys]

the toast has gone cold

I really like cold toast.  One of my favourite foods when I was a kid was cold burnt toast with a thick slathering of butter on it.  Just lightly burned, mind.  Not charcoal.  The great thing about cold toast is that it doesn't melt the butter - hot buttered toast is lovely stuff, but sometimes the gentle kiss of cool, creamy butter on crunchy toast is just ... mmmmm.

[Unnecessary Biscuits]

It's great, isn't it?  Imagine being the person who invented toast.  You'd feel like a motherfucking god.

For me it's like the Ian Curtis/ Love Will Tear Us Apart becoming a hit single thing just after his death. It does seem tragic how much toast-related paraphernalia there is now when toast's inventor is probably no longer with us. I hope it wasn't suicide, especially if following too many odd looks while making toast, or maybe even a harrowing fire that led to the death of his entire family.

An observation I've made also - have you noticed that bad bread makes good toast, but good bread makes bad toast? It's a kind of late Lee Evans sort of observation, in that it is untrue and annoying because of this. It seemed to be true to me at one point, but I continued to collate data and found I had been seduced by an early impression.

I no longer eat it myself because I am trying for weight purposes to give up all the things that will allow me to carry on drinking heavily - though I have found that as a result of this I look so rough constantly that no pub will believe I am sober and serve me, even at 11.30 a.m.

I expect this will iron itself out somehow.

[boki]

Not just dead - having his liver repeatedly torn out and eaten by an eagle.

I wouldn't like to see his ghost.

[Cerys]

Not even if his liver were toast?

I expect this will iron itself out somehow.

My parents used to make toast using the iron when they were first married.  There's a profound message there, somewhere.

[New folder]

I wouldn't like to see his ghost.

Perhaps he's watching you wank already.

[boki]

Not even if his liver were toast?

I might just about stomach the sight if I had the evening news as a distraction.

[paruses]

I really like cold toast.  One of my favourite foods when I was a kid was cold burnt toast with a thick slathering of butter on it.  Just lightly burned, mind.  Not charcoal.  The great thing about cold toast is that it doesn't melt the butter - hot buttered toast is lovely stuff, but sometimes the gentle kiss of cool, creamy butter on crunchy toast is just ... mmmmm.

I thought I was the only person who felt like this.

[Norton Canes]

I really like cold toast.  One of my favourite foods when I was a kid was cold burnt toast with a thick slathering of butter on it.  Just lightly burned, mind.  Not charcoal.  The great thing about cold toast is that it doesn't melt the butter - hot buttered toast is lovely stuff, but sometimes the gentle kiss of cool, creamy butter on crunchy toast is just ... mmmmm

I usually let the toast cool slightly so the butter doesn't go all runny.

[solidified gruel merchant]

I've literally just now bought myself a brand new toaster. It's smaller than my old one, takes up a lot less space. The new fad is having them away in a cupboard but I can't be doing with that.

[Twed]

Toaster oven, much better. It's like a toaster but with none of the rules. Reheat lasagne in it, the police won't even come.

[imitationleather]

I get my toast off Deliveroo.

[Chollis]

Oh I toast all my bread on the AGA, naturally