Short teeth

[Unnecessary Biscuits]

I'm an ugly man and I accept it. I keep out of people's way, don't speak unless I'm spoken to, sometimes not even then if I think it's in the other party's best interests. A woman in Costa said that I am handsome a few months ago, and didn't move away after I let her glean that I have no money. She had just told me she is a recovering heroin addict, and since then I've seen her with a man three times who does not wear a shirt. But neither of these things mean anything, necessarily. I don't know how to process what she said to me but it hasn't affected my opinion of myself and my looks either way. I don't have a type. It would be preposterous to even consider embarking upon gathering up requirements - I have met a soulmate, twice, though neither woman felt the same, towards me (which in a way proved that they were my soulmates - if two fallen angels met they wouldn't get on either, would they, due to the self-loathing of one or both of them). I like all sorts of traits and features that many think of as flaws - a longer than usual nose, a big chin, unironically ill-suiting glasses, an ear trumpet on one occasion. The third most beautiful woman in my home town is in her 70s. I'm no kind of beauty fascist, is what I'm trying to get across.

This said, is it bad of me that I find short teeth disturbing? Unheimlich even. I've met two people with short teeth, and I've seen Quentin Tarantino speak, and it - the sight of short teeth - does cause me to stop focusing on anything else. A woman half my age told me in a pub a few years ago that I am "still quite good looking". It was Christmas Eve. I had long hair and a beard at the time, and wondered if she was being cautious, pious. But I noticed that she had the short teeth and I think that caused her remarks not to take, we may even have been talking a lot longer than I remember. Sometimes when Tarantino is speaking you don't even see them, making his lips seem like a very flexible beak. My own teeth are crooked - one of them is practically hiding behind one of the others, as if attempting to escape blame, when he is the most guilty of the lot. Crooked, but they are at least visible. I'd rather have my visibly crooked teeth than completely straight, gleaming short ones.

I used to prefer single quotation marks for dialogue in novels and then overnight I came to prefer double quotation marks and find it hard to look at single quotation marks now. So it's possible that a time might come when I don't find short teeth unheimlich any more, and even come to prefer them, though knowing my luck from that point onwards I won't meet another person with short teeth again. The thought of that filled me with dread, realising the possibility of it as I typed it. I might just spend a few hours a week now googling images of short teeth, to inure myself, just in case.

Knowing my luck, my third soulmate will turn up, quite soon, this Summer, and she'll have short teeth when I'm not ready.

[bgmnts]

Short teeth? Like you wouldn't want to chance saying the wrong thing around them?

[McChesney Duntz]

Knowing my luck, my third soulmate will turn up, quite soon, this Summer, and she'll have short teeth when I'm not ready. She'll have the hair. You'll find out. A second soulmate isn't that rare; the second most common one you get in a lifetime is only eight. You'll always have your parents back home, and I'm certain that when I turn sixteen I'll have no children of my own. What will you do? And what will you do? "That was a lie," my brother says. You say a lot with me. When my sister and I're not looking for kids, or when I don't feel like talking about what happened in Heaven to you, we talk about our parents. "I miss my dad very much." "You didn't. You hated him because you didn't want to be him." My sister laughs, a little sheepish. "That was my plan," she says. "He tried to kill me." I ask when they've met in person. "Three times in six years." I can't ask about your parents without talking about them, because it'll reveal something, something about you I don't want to tell her, and to me they feel much more important today than ever, or when I met them, or when the sun set over the river and I was holding a baby and it was all

[Twed]

Don't want no short teeth man

[chveik]

I'm an ugly man and I accept it. I keep out of people's way, don't speak unless I'm spoken to, and never wear makeup."

And in a video in which he said that "if I was white and my entire race didn't exist it would still have it."

Watch the video here:

Here's how Trump described the video:

I'm a balding man and I accept it. I keep out of people's way, don't speak unless I'm spoken to, and never wear makeup. — Donald J. Trump (@realDonaldTrump) February 14, 2016

Watch the video here:

This isn't the first time Trump has made incendiary comments about women. He's also said that "if you're a blonde and you're dating a beautiful Latinx, you're probably attracted to her." Trump has since apologized for that, saying he "misspoke," while the New York Daily News reported that Trump called himself "a terrible person."

[Buelligan]

I understand the short teeth issue in others but don't particularly suffer from it myself.  In fact, I had a long(ish) term partner with those little teeth.  I didn't like them much but I didn't hate them until I grew to hate the entire head they were growing in.

I also stare at teeth.  Sometimes I hardly hear what people are saying because I'm just watching the teeth.  And I remember them, I'm pretty good at names but introduce me into a room full of strangers and I will be able to draw all of their teeth afterwards.

The only teeth I really despise are the bought ones.  Bowie ruined himself in that way of course.

[Bazooka]

My teeth are transparent on account of drinking too much fruit juice.

[Sherringford Hovis]

Short teeth are fine if the teeth-to-gum ratio falls within acceptable parameters.

I am related by marriage to a lady who unwittingly cosplays as the Chatterer cenobite from Hellraiser II, but rather than fear I have the overwhelming urge to treat her to a brace of juicy carrots and maybe a sugar-lump or two while patting her flank or scratching behind her ears.

[Twed]

My teeth are transparent on account of drinking too much fruit juice.

And they're like, it's better than yours
Damn right it's better than yours

[BlodwynPig]

Am i dreaming?

[a duncandisorderly]

overnight I came to prefer double quotation marks and find it hard to look at single quotation marks now.

I use both. sometimes you have to, when you're quoting a quote or the name of something, & there's no italics available, & anyway single quotes can get messy if there's abbreviations & possessives & whatnot also in the writing.
but I'm with you on the short teeth. teeth should be the right length, but- I don't want long teeth around me either.

[Elderly Sumo Prophecy]

David Walliams has a particularly chronic case of this. He looks like he still has his milk teeth, the twat.

[alan nagsworth]

'CAUSE EVERY GIRL'S CRAZY 'BOUT A SHORT TOOTHED MAN
— ZZ Tooth

[Buelligan]

I'm not so sure they are.  I always feel the strong and unbidden urge to punch Walliams, harder than I am physically able, full in that great stupid face whenever I see it.  Perhaps there is more to this small-teeth theory than I'd at first grasped.

[alan nagsworth]

Sounds like you're a bit crazy about it tbh

[jobotic]

Where do we stand on slightly brown teeth but one grey one. They cool?

[Elderly Sumo Prophecy]

♪♪♪ Here come the short toothed men ♪♪♪

[Buelligan]

Sounds like you're a bit crazy about it tbh

Oh I don't think so.  Show me a person that doesn't want to smite this and I'll show you a dentist.



Coloured teeth are a-OK IMO btw jobotic.  I mentioned rececently, I had a lift with a complete stranger whose whole teeth were coloured dark black and I found it quite charming.  TBH, I had a terrible urge to gently touch them with my index finger but that would've been too familiar on a first lift.

[alan nagsworth]

they are the most ill-fitted mouths I've ever seen jesus ffffffucking CHRIST!

yeah alright fair point

[a duncandisorderly]

Oh I don't think so.  Show me a person that doesn't want to smite this and I'll show you a dentist.

open your eyes properly, you fucking twats- I'm trying to take a nice picture for a magazine. is the daylight too bright for you, you coke-addled dracleas?

[Unnecessary Biscuits]

I wouldn't have said David Walliams has short teeth. He's quite tall as well isn't he? I feel like I would really notice it if he had short teeth, that would stand out with a tall man. I don't want to sound like a dimensio-orthodontal fundamentalist about this but if someone finds Walliams to have short teeth I would gently question whether they have body image issues, albeit very localised in the mouth.

A lot of the problem with this stems from this idea that you shouldn't breathe through your mouth, that that is somehow a deficiency. If we all did teeth would be so familiar that they'd be incapable of generating an unheimlich response no matter what they looked like.

I do struggle a bit sometimes if there is too much space between the top lip and the bottom of the nose as well. One of my exes, if you wanted to kiss his mouth and then his forehead you had to get a taxi. Paint him green and he'd look like Herb Trimpe-era Hulk.

Everything else is fine.

There was someone on Plenty of Fish whose eyes seemed a bit too far apart I suppose. That would put me on edge, to live with her. Nothing would escape her notice. The upside is she's probably the least paranoid woman out there, because of the increased objective sense data, so I suppose it would balance out. More tension over not being able to mime, "Give it a rest!" out of sight, but less arguing about nothing.

Apart from that I'm eas-- that bit, the cleft above the lips, don't get that pierced, yeah? Everybody's happy.

[a duncandisorderly]

that bit, the cleft above the lips, don't get that pierced, yeah? Everybody's happy.

is it the filtrum or the nostrum? I can't bear to open another tab. I'm already lost in chrome.

[Elderly Sumo Prophecy]

You were saying about his non short teeth?

[a duncandisorderly]

You were saying about his non short teeth?

I dunno... they look like ordinary teeth but he's got too much gum going on. it'll right itself if he goes back to a manual toothbrush & does ten minutes a day like I did before my dentist told me "stop- you'll have them all out!" & I got a braun.

[Shit Good Nose]

One of my exes had short teeth, to the point where she couldn't clean them properly very often as it fucked her gums, so she occasionally had ass breath and once had to have tooth fungus (or summat) removed.  She also had a medical problem, which I forget the name of, with her bits which meant she couldn't have sex.  We mutually split a few months later due to numerous reasons.  Years later I heard, third or fourth hand, that she topped herself because of her lady bits problem, but I've never been able to confirm that.

Hope this helps.

[Elderly Sumo Prophecy]

We mutually split a few months later due to numerous reasons.

Short teeth and lack of sex presumably.

[Shit Good Nose]

Short teeth and lack of sex presumably.

It was mainly logistics, actually, cos I lived in far south Bristol and she lived far north Bristol (which, when you're in your teens, public transport isn't really an option and only one of you drives, is a fucking long way) and neither of us could afford to move.  Of course the no sex thing was also a contributing factor, but there were other things as well.  The short teeth thing didn't bother me much actually, only when she had ass breath.  Fortunately I was never witness to the tooth fungus, but I saw the invoice for the work...

I'll also add that she was otherwise the most objectively physically attractive partner I've ever had, and most of my mates were properly jealous.  Course, they eventually found out how I was able to bat WAY above my average.  She was a Manc as well, with the very worst example of the accent.

[Elderly Sumo Prophecy]

Ass breath is a major turn off for me I'm afraid. Ass smell, on the other hand, from the actual anus, I find quite agreeable. Unless it's shite.

[Unnecessary Biscuits]

You were saying about his non short teeth?

Okay, yeah but no but yeah, the ones either side of the two nearest the front might be just a hair the unheimlich side of the cusp of where normal sized teeth and short teeth... is.

I feel a bit guilty now though. It probably doesn't pay to get bogged down in this sort of thing when we've all got one fault or another or several. Live and let live. All that lovely sun out there, Saturday - let's not waste it.

[Elderly Sumo Prophecy]

You're right. We'll resolve this matter at a later date.