Cunt furniture

[H-O-W-L]

You ever just have cunt furniture that's a total bastard but you can't be fucked to replace it?

I've got a coat rack in the front hall that I always end up kicking the bastard foot of while barefoot and hobbling about in pain but I daren't get rid of it lest I have to go to Ikea again.

[Buelligan]

Burn it.  You'll not need the coats.  Burn the coats if you do.

[H-O-W-L]

Burn it.  You'll not need the coats.  Burn the coats if you do.

The fucker is metal but I reckon the toxic paint on it would make one hell of a lovely pyre.

[Twed]

This expensive piece of absolute shit, which predictably broke after a month's use.

It was perfect while it lasted.

[wooders1978]

It's boiling next week - you won't need a coat ever again

[Monsieur Verdoux]

you can't reason with furniture

[solidified gruel merchant]

Replaced by tatty old sofa with a lovely squashy new one. It arrived this morning and it fitted through the door so I didn't have to take the window out!

[Buelligan]

[tag]Treating furniture like objects[/tag]

[sponk]

Replaced by tatty old sofa with a lovely squashy new one. It arrived this morning and it fitted through the door so I didn't have to take the window out!

That would have been a right pain

[grassbath]

A leather reclining armchair belonging to my flatmate, which I have to swaddle in blankets as otherwise it moults tiny black strips of leather all over the floor which are picked up on my socks and end up all over the flat and make the floor look like it's covered in tiny bits of black shit.

[Icehaven]

Within minutes of finishing building our brand new king size bed a few months ago, I realised that it was positioned such that I'd stub my toe on it every single bloody time I walked past, and with the occasional exception this has proved to be true.

[solidified gruel merchant]

That would have been a right pain

I know! It would have cost me £150. I had a bloke on standby, so convinced was I of my to-cock measuring.

[Buelligan]

[tag]David Dickinson proudly reveals his lovely antique queening stool[/tag]

[Sebastian Cobb]

The sofas in my gaff are horrible. Really uncomfortable and great for losing things in. I lost my telly remote a year ago and looked for it several times, even tipped the thing to see if I could hear it. I couldn't, but then while looking for something else I found it on an internal shelf. By that point I'd ordered another one.

[Twed]

There's nothing worse than a doughy chair. Except for sofas that you have to plug in and have fucking drinks holders. I have seen many of these gauche things, due to being from Essex and America. It's amazing that I have such good taste.

[Twed]

The rug is supposed to be for outdoors

[Claude the Racecar Driving Rockstar Super Sleuth]

An outdoor rug is grass.

[Twed]

I'd better not say anything secret in front of it then

[jobotic]

A coat stand? Ooh pardon me mater I'm orf to play the grand piarno

[touchingcloth]

I've got a Noguchi coffee table.

I don't. I'm not a cunt.

[PlanktonSideburns]

Now that I think of it
Kitchen tables a bit of a cunt
Wobbly as fuck, nasty brown laminate, waterstains

[buzby]

Within minutes of finishing building our brand new king size bed a few months ago, I realised that it was positioned such that I'd stub my toe on it every single bloody time I walked past, and with the occasional exception this has proved to be true.

Basically had the the same thing happen - I bought an Ikea Malm ottoman bed a couple of months ago that has a footboard, making it about 1.5" longer than the divan bed it replaced. I'm forever catching my knees on the corner of the footboard as I walk past it

[Twed]

I live a pretty cunty bougie existence truth be told.

[Twed]

THOSE ARE NOT WANKING TISSUES THEY WERE FOR SOMEBODY ELSE

[sponk]

[Sebastian Cobb]

I live a pretty cunty bougie existence truth be told.

I disapprove of your table being half on a rug. It's not right.

[shiftwork2]

Did you know cheap scented candles only have the scent embedded in the top bit of the candle? If that doesn't qualify as the unacceptable face of capitalism / cheeky cunt of the year then I don't know what does.  Have a sniff Twed.

[mothman]

We've just inherited this rather upright two-seater sofa from my parents. Wedged in next to my leather recliner, me and my wife look rather like Giles & Mary from Gogglebox.

Even stranger, it's not the first time we've owned it. My parents gave it to us neatly 15 years ago, so we moved it across country. Then they decided they didn't like their new sofa so they wanted this one back - them moving it across country to ours, and taking this one back to theirs. We had that second sofa for a few years before getting rid of it (I forget why, I think it was an off-white colour and keeping it clean with small children was a pain). The one we replaced it with was rubbish and was on its last legs after ten years, so when we were offered it, we jumped at the chance.

"Are you SURE about all that?" asked MrsMoth when I pointed all this out. I assured her it was, and she blushed bright red when I reminded her we'd had sex on it while watching Live 8. Though my parents had had it re-covered since then.

[Twed]

I disapprove of your table being half on a rug. It's not right.

Agreed. It was there temporarily to facilitate snacks.

Did you know cheap scented candles only have the scent embedded in the top bit of the candle? If that doesn't qualify as the unacceptable face of capitalism / cheeky cunt of the year then I don't know what does.  Have a sniff Twed.

I hate candles, TBH. Only put one out to seem like a human when somebody was here.

[LanceUppercut]

I live a pretty cunty bougie existence truth be told.

That looks like a hipsters wet dream, including the posh crisps, where's the space raiders you massive twat