TERRY AND JUNE BUT THE LIVING ROOM HAS COUNTDOWN GOING ON.

[Glebe]

TERRY: Jschoon! I'm home from work!

JUNE: I'M IN THE LIVING ROOM, TERRY!

TERRY: Alright, Jschoon... think I'll just fix meself a brandy, I- 'ere, what's going on in 'ere?!

NICK HEWER: Evening Terry, how was your day?

JUNE: Oh yes Terry I forgot to tell you, they're filming Countdown in here this evening!

TERRY: B-but, Jschoon, they can't film in here!

JUNE: They've already started, I'm afraid, we'll just have to go along with it!

RACHEL RILEY: Vowel or consonant to start with, Terry?

TERRY: B-but... where's Carol Vorderman?! A-and Richard Whitely, come to think of it?

SUSIE DENT: Whitely passed away some years ago. Vorderman jumped ship some time ago.

GILES BRANDRETH: I'm mostly on The One Show now Terry, but I asked to come on this edition just for old times sake! Richard Stilgoe couldn't make it! Ah well, life 'Stilgoes' on, chuckle!

TERRY: What's The One Show?!

JUNE: Look, just go along with it, Terry. I think they've travelled back from the future.

HEWER: From another dimension too, actually, June... one in which Terry and June is only a sitcom and not real people!

JUNE: ...There you go, Terry... they thought our house was a studio set!

RACHEL: Numbers game time, then... a big 'un and a few little 'uns, then, Terry?

TERRY: Oh no, maths! Oh, crikey... oh, crumbs!

JUNE: Look, sit down Terry! I'll pour you a large cognac!

TERRY: I think I'll need it, June... I feel like Napoleon at the Battle of Waterloo!

AUDIENCE: HAHAHAHAHAH!!!

HEWER: Settle down, audience! We'll reveal the conundrum, after the break!

The audience applauds and the Countdown jingle plays.

FLOOR MANAGER: Okay, take five, people! June, is Terry alright? You can take him into the kitchen if it's all too much.

JUNE: Yes, I think I might! They're doing a couple of episodes of Pointless in the bedroom after you've finished up!

THE END!