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Unused plotlines from ‘Allo ‘Allo

Started by Ferris, June 24, 2019, 10:31:17 PM

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Glebe

The comedy nazis ask Rene to put up a priceless chandelier and he drops it. Then he falls through his bar dressed as Batman (who first appeared in 1939!).

Ferris

Quote from: Glebe on June 27, 2019, 11:08:27 PM
The comedy nazis ask Rene to put up a priceless chandelier and he drops it. Then he falls through his bar dressed as Batman (who first appeared in 1939!).

...and LeClerc makes a face.

Glebe


Elderly Sumo Prophecy

René gets hung from a lamppost for aiding and abetting the French Resistance, which makes him even more wonky eyed than usual. That one who says "Good Moaning" sidles up and says "Good Moaning" at him. René does not respond.

Glebe

Rene's daydreaming nephew Granville Artois comes to work at the cafe. "Fer-fetch le cloth, Granville mon nephew."

rasta-spouse

After René visits the local delicatessen and inquires if they have a hunk of jambon that is about the same dimensions as Edith he is met, for the rest of the week, with suspicious looks from the townsfolk that cease only when Herr Flick asks to be served cum in a shot glass at the café.

Ferris

Quote from: Glebe on July 08, 2019, 10:31:06 AM
Rene's daydreaming nephew Granville Artois comes to work at the cafe. "Fer-fetch le cloth, Granville mon nephew."

EXT CAFE, DAYTIME

Granville Artois: Je was just having la reve most incroyable, sur un handsome garçon appelez Granville et his strange old oncle Arkwright (though je suspectez vous etes ne pas famous enough to prêtez the part). Essentialement, they try to vendez any old toot to un cast de characters trez motley.

Rene: Sacre bleu! J'ai un reve incroyable aussi, et similar (mais potentially plus successful) set dans Peckham a Londres. Peut-etre vous et perfect for the main role. Avez-vous considered including un yellow van de three-wheels?

G: Non, mon oncle Rene - les punters will never go for that. C'est un hardware store dans Doncaster, or rien.

rasta-spouse


René, Officer Crabtree, and Colonel von Strohm are sipping armagnac one night at the café and get talking about how they're all fond of their cousins. So they agree to a consensual cousin-fucking contest, which René loses. As a forfeit, René gets pegged by Edith while the Colonel watches in the wine cellar. Colonel von Strohm subsequently suffers eighteen months of priapism and involuntary intermittent goo-squirts.

dr_christian_troy


Glebe

Quote from: FerriswheelBueller on July 08, 2019, 11:31:07 AMEXT CAFE, DAYTIME

Granville Artois: Je was just having la reve most incroyable, sur un handsome garçon appelez Granville et his strange old oncle Arkwright (though je suspectez vous etes ne pas famous enough to prêtez the part). Essentialement, they try to vendez any old toot to un cast de characters trez motley.

Rene: Sacre bleu! J'ai un reve incroyable aussi, et similar (mais potentially plus successful) set dans Peckham a Londres. Peut-etre vous et perfect for the main role. Avez-vous considered including un yellow van de three-wheels?

G: Non, mon oncle Rene - les punters will never go for that. C'est un hardware store dans Doncaster, or rien.

Heh!

GRANVILLE: Rene, les Arkwright en homosexual? Je viseteur du 'sissy boys' club' en trip to Paris?

RENE: Oh, brush up on y'French, lad!

OFFICER CRABTREE: Good moaning!

The Bumlord

LeClerc removes the painting of the Fallen Madonna wiz ze Big Boobies from the sausage and rams it right up his fucking hoop

It is revealed that a mistaken belief has spread that Rene is in for a massive inheritance.  Rene laughingly puts people right on this, then is confused when Michelle no longer fancies him.

petril

René makes a hypnosis tape to stop finding loads of small traits about his girlfriend irritating, but she finds out and dumps him. His neighbour starts smoking a pipe(he is a twat) and then wins pipe smoker of the year, but it turns out he never actually smokes the pipe. Oh and an American says "Chinny reCKON" at one point.