House infected with tiny bastards thread #351: THE WASPS OF DOOM

[Stoneage Dinosaurs]

There is almost certainly a wasps nest in our attic and/or wall space. Sprayed Raid vengeance on three of the bastards a few days ago and in the meantime about 50 of the fuckers have died on the landing. Opened the bathroom cabinet and at the back of it was the opening of a little mini tunnel network with a few stripe cunts crawling about like cunts at the foot of it. Have contacted the letting agents but they are being their usual tittish selves about getting a pest person sent over. Three rogue yellowy bellends tried to dive bomb us at about 4 am the night before last.

Dead soon? (And/or POST WASP STORIES HERE)

[Jittlebags]

Sounds like you've got jaspers.

[a duncandisorderly]

jaspers, aye.

but try not to kill them- persuade them to take up residence elsewhere if possible. they mean you no harm, they're just confused.

spray-mount is good. slows them down so you can catch them & when you've got a load of them in a jar, give them a rinse & release them miles away from your house.
take them to ikea.

[Glebe]

There are hints of the yearly Ant Attack beginning here, with the odd winged scout ant making an appearance.

[NoSleep]

They can chew through wood, which is a reason to get rid of them before they can cause structural damage. Can you locate where they are coming and going around the exterior of the house? Could be an airbrick or via the roof or chimney. They will only last for a three or so months but the damage will be done, if any.

[Cerys]

Don't kill them.  Farm them.  Farm them for their nasty stingy yellow hell honey.  It's a myth that wasps don't produce honey.  They do.  It's just really unpleasant honey that melts your face off and then sticks around grinning its evil, smug grin and wheezing 'I did that', like a self-satisfied racist father-in-law.

[NoSleep]

Don't kill them.  Farm them.  Farm them for their nasty stingy yellow hell honey.  It's a myth that wasps don't produce honey.  They do.  It's just really unpleasant honey that melts your face off and then sticks around grinning its evil, smug grin and wheezing 'I did that', like a self-satisfied racist father-in-law.

Everybody knows that bees make honey and wasps make jam.

[NoSleep]

Actually, my only experience of seeing wasps gathering food was at a barbeque, and they were gnawing off pea-sized chunks of chicken and flying off with these clasped between their legs.

[Bum Flaps]

I've got Mr Mouse with me in my hotel room tonight. I think he's after my few remaining spicy nuts.

[Replies From View]

Congrats on your wasps pal!  V jealous!

[Dex Sawash]

I have carpenter bees in my pergola. Pergolae seem particularly pointless structures so I don't really mind all that much.

[Sebastian Cobb]

I had some flies in my gaff a few weeks ago. I gave them a good spray with what I thought was the bug killer, then realised I'd picked up the GT85 by mistake.

Made the flat smell nice I suppose.

[Replies From View]

Has there ever been a wasp so furious that it ate a whole alive dog in one go


Must have surely been one - they have both been around for centuries so it makes sense from an evolutionary perspective

[Lisa Jesusandmarychain]

Has there ever been a wasp that has been a big fan of the actor Dennis Franz?

There must be at least three or four.

[ZoyzaSorris]

I was laughing heartily at the OP, thinking, I'm not bald and I don't have wasps, basically I'm a fucking ubermensch, when I literally that second noticed a stream of wasps entering my house above the window, presumably making their home under the tiles like the industrious little bastards they are.

Still, wasps have been in serious decline and they are good for gardeners as they munch their way through a prodigious amount of insect larvae, so I'll leave 'em be for now. Even if they are undermining the structural integrity of my bay roof.

[Icehaven]

It's all ladybirds round my place, the inverse red-spots-on-black ones too, very exotic. The thing about them carrying Chlamydia is only partly true too as they do but can't pass it on to humans apparently. Could still do without them falling in my cooking quite so often though.

[Inspector Norse]

It's mosquitoes here, though the odd wasp does pop its head in. Unbearable little shits to a man.
We didn't have this problem when we were living in a flat, but it seems that being closer to nature now we have a house with a wee garden does have its downside. All-Purpose Insect Bastard Killing Contraption has quickly made it to the top of the priority household items shopping list.

[NoSleep]

Mosqitoes are going to be breeding in nearby ponds or buckets full of rainwater left out behind the shed.

Likewise, the previously mentioned fly infestation will be related to a nearby dead animal or piece of stray meat behind the cooker. There'll usually be maggot cocoons whereabout.

[Sebastian Cobb]

Mosqitoes are going to be breeding in nearby ponds or buckets full of rainwater left out behind the shed.

Likewise, the previously mentioned fly infestation will be related to a nearby dead animal or piece of stray meat behind the cooker. There'll usually be maggot cocoons whereabout.

I'm on the fourth floor. They just turn up when I open my french balcony.

[Replies From View]

The thing about them carrying Chlamydia is only partly true too as they do but can't pass it on to humans apparently.

I'm willing to wager you weren't trying hard enough.

[NoSleep]

I'm on the fourth floor. They just turn up when I open my french balcony.

Yeah, insects only seem to know about flying upwards (or, rather, flying over obstacles); hence it's sometimes difficult to direct them back out into the open air even if you offer them an open window (if it's not at the highest point). They probably flew up because of an attraction to lights on in your flat. I always go for minimal lighting if I open a window; maybe open a few windows in unlit rooms to get an air flow so they don't have to be wide open in the room I occupy.

On a related note I noticed a huge number of flies at the top of hills in the Lake District. Stupid insects.

[St_Eddie]

Mosqitoes are going to be breeding in nearby ponds or buckets full of rainwater left out behind the shed.

Whereas if the pond or bucket full of rainwater is not near a shed, they simply won't bother to congregate.  Mosquito facts, folks.

[Replies From View]

Why doesn't the rainwater just evaporate from the bucket in this heat?

[St_Eddie]

Why doesn't the rainwater just evaporate from the bucket in this heat?

It's far too hot.  You can't expect rainwater to be evaporating in this kind of heat.  That shit takes effort.

[JesusAndYourBush]

Everybody knows that bees make honey and wasps make jam.

Wasps make marmite.

[NoSleep]

Why doesn't the rainwater just evaporate from the bucket in this heat?

Too fucking late once the mosquitoes emerge. They thrive on evaporation. And blood.

[NoSleep]

Wasps make marmite.

And hornet(te)s make free jazz.

[Inspector Norse]

Mosqitoes are going to be breeding in nearby ponds or buckets full of rainwater left out behind the shed.

No ponds or other permanent bodies of water around here, but the road backs onto a substantial area of woodland and there's a lake about a kilometre away. They're too consistent a pain for a mere bucket to be the source. A kilometre seems a long way for them to go just to twat it up in our living room, but I guess we shouldn't underestimate just how much they love being arseholes.

The neighbourhood association does have a contract with a pest control company; that's more in case of larger animals I think, but I wonder if they can come and get all Chernobyl cleanup on the little fuckers.

[pancreas]

I think you deserve to be stung by wasps. You are scum, Wegger, subhuman scum. If I were a wasp I'd sting you myself.

[monkfromhavana]

I once swallowed a live wasp after the fucker hid in my beer. Stung roof of my mouth on the way down.