Author Topic: Just seen your dad (Read 9958 times)

Gregory Torso · « **Reply #90 on:** July 06, 2019, 10:00:41 PM »

I've sawn your dad in half.

Gregory Torso · « **Reply #91 on:** July 06, 2019, 10:03:06 PM »

i've seen dads, you wouldn't believe the dads i've seen.

Gregory Torso · « **Reply #92 on:** July 06, 2019, 10:08:04 PM »

To be honest I am sick to the back bollock of seeing your dad.

seepage · « **Reply #93 on:** July 06, 2019, 10:11:52 PM »

just seen your dad on the train, marking key words from the Hornby catalog in highlighter pen then throwing the pages out the window.

seepage · « **Reply #94 on:** July 06, 2019, 10:34:52 PM »

just seen your dad posting on CaB just to avoid the edit bug.

rasta-spouse · « **Reply #95 on:** July 07, 2019, 01:31:56 PM »

Just seen your dad summarising Leviticus to a precocious open-minded minor.

Just seen your dad whistling the theme to The X-files while urinating on some corrugated iron.

Just seen your dad on the passenger list of the Costa Concordia.

Just seen your dad incessantly complimenting the neighbour's wife on how she's lost weight.

Just seen your dad on the guestbook at the Avanos Hair Museum.

>>> this is why your mother drinks and your front lawn is in a state!

Lordofthefiles · « **Reply #96 on:** July 07, 2019, 03:39:01 PM »

Just seen your dad. He was gettin the Turkish barber to redo the tramlines in his back hair, reckon he's got a date.

Gregory Torso · « **Reply #97 on:** July 18, 2019, 10:19:01 AM »

Saw your dad on the Jeremy Vine show, in the audience. He put his hand up and asked Jeremy if his "vine" could support a full tarzan swingin on it. He got booed off the TV. Everyone was watching.

BlodwynPig · « **Reply #98 on:** July 18, 2019, 10:26:15 AM »

Just seen your dad visiting the local police station - turning in his massive stash of child pornography, telling the desk sergeant that his son is a very sick individual indeed.

Gregory Torso · « **Reply #99 on:** July 18, 2019, 10:42:50 AM »

Just seen your dad in cash convertors, he looked like a jigsaw some kid had hammered and bashed together all wrong. He told me his new girlfriend can fit six frankfurters inside her and then disappeared in a cloud of lynx.

Cold Meat Platter · « **Reply #100 on:** July 18, 2019, 07:24:56 PM »

Just seen your da shooing away the dog and wiping the peanut butter off of himself and onto some bread.

rasta-spouse · « **Reply #101 on:** July 19, 2019, 02:34:27 PM »

Just seen your dad on the writing credits for Tonight with Vladimir Putin.

Just seen your dad blowing on a trumpet in a dinghy. When he realised Space: 1999 was on Forces TV he rowed back to shore and drove home.

Just seen your dad on a neardeath compilation. As he falls off the roof onto the barbecue and the girl screams the video cuts out.

>>>> he thought he was going to die at sea like Robert Maxwell!

Lordofthefiles · « **Reply #102 on:** July 29, 2019, 06:48:08 PM »

Just seen your dad, he was in the front row on Bon Jovi's "Livin' on a Prayer" video.

BlodwynPig · « **Reply #103 on:** July 29, 2019, 09:36:41 PM »

Quote from: Lordofthefiles on July 29, 2019, 06:48:08 PM

Just seen your dad, he was in the front row on Bon Jovi's "Livin' on a Prayer" video.

Fantastic.

Just seen your dad rocking an old skool Michael Bolton mullet to a uber-funfzig party in Bremen

Gregory Torso · « **Reply #104 on:** August 04, 2019, 01:25:45 PM »

Just seen your dad cementing himself into the driveway, screaming "NO SIR I WILL NOT". Fair fucks, nah i mean really, fair fucking fucks to the lad. No one likes being cold called do they? On a monday evening when you're just started defrosting the canker pie? You are having a fuckin giraffe mate, leave it out you cunt, i'm having my tea. you people, you just won't leave me alone, and into the ground he goes.

Gregory Torso · « **Reply #105 on:** August 04, 2019, 01:33:16 PM »

Just seen your father going out to dinner wearing a t-shirt with Mickey Mouse smoking a blunt on it and the t-shirt says "Head Of Da Motherfukin' Club House".

Gregory Torso · « **Reply #106 on:** August 04, 2019, 01:34:37 PM »

Your dad asking a puddle if he can please have a sip of its water.

seepage · « **Reply #107 on:** August 04, 2019, 02:06:20 PM »

just seen your dad trying to make rosé wine in the garden, silly sod.

seepage · « **Reply #108 on:** August 04, 2019, 02:10:09 PM »

just seen your dad down the library, typing out his first program in BASIC. Wanker.

Gregory Torso · « **Reply #109 on:** August 04, 2019, 02:36:54 PM »

Your dad, lord of all crabs

BlodwynPig · « **Reply #110 on:** August 04, 2019, 02:39:02 PM »

Quote from: seepage on August 04, 2019, 02:10:09 PM

just seen your dad down the library, typing out his first program in BASIC. Wanker.

Prints the crude image of a naked woman on the dot matrix printer...takes ages and he chucks it in the bin, the sexual urge long since dissipated.

Replies From View · « **Reply #111 on:** August 04, 2019, 07:18:41 PM »

If your dad is playing at something I don’t know what it is

Either way I don’t like it

Twit 2 · « **Reply #112 on:** August 04, 2019, 10:16:29 PM »

I have just seen your father repointing the brickwork on Satan’s House of Arses. Haborym was stood beside him tutting at the workmanship. Your father blamed his trowl and there was cursing from both parties. I later followed him to a Gregg’s where he bought a dry and tasteless pasty, crying by this point. I watch him every day in fact, I am there for all his failings and fleeting victories. All his pasties. Your father’s vicissitudes, what a song! What music he makes in his sobbing. He strums the galactic lyre in a closed down Halfords.

BlodwynPig · « **Reply #113 on:** August 04, 2019, 10:19:54 PM »

Quote from: Twit 2 on August 04, 2019, 10:16:29 PM

I have just seen your father repointing the brickwork on Satan’s House of Arses. Haborym was stood beside him tutting at the workmanship. Your father blamed his trowl and there was cursing from both parties. I later followed him to a Gregg’s where he bought a dry and tasteless pasty, crying by this point. I watch him every day in fact, I am there for all his failings and fleeting victories. All his pasties. Your father’s vicissitudes, what a song! What music he makes in his sobbing. He strums the galactic lyre in a closed down Halfords.

Yours Faithfully

God the Holy Ghost

Earnest Sexpot · « **Reply #114 on:** August 04, 2019, 10:45:55 PM »

Just seen your dad kissing his hand for practice

Bazooka · « **Reply #115 on:** August 05, 2019, 09:12:56 AM »

Just seen your dad with my dad, down at the food bank, both are CEO's at Muck Donalds, but they only came out with rubber gloves and no burgers....

Sherringford Hovis · « **Reply #116 on:** August 07, 2019, 02:51:03 AM »

Quote from: Mr Banlon on June 27, 2019, 06:41:22 PM

Your dad is Paul Gadd

Is his dog dead?

BlodwynPig · « **Reply #117 on:** August 07, 2019, 07:27:22 AM »

It’s Father’s day and your dad is rabidly searching punternet using the NordVPN you got him

Bazooka · « **Reply #118 on:** August 12, 2019, 11:41:25 AM »

Just seen your dad mopping the sweat off his forehead with a slice of warburtons thick white slice.

seepage · « **Reply #119 on:** August 13, 2019, 08:42:24 AM »

just seen your dad by the bins, giving a one-inch punch to a piece of polystyrene foam

News:

Author Topic: Just seen your dad (Read 9958 times)