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Just seen your dad

Started by Bazooka, June 27, 2019, 12:14:13 PM

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Gregory Torso

I've sawn your dad in half.

Gregory Torso

i've seen dads, you wouldn't believe the dads i've seen.

Gregory Torso

To be honest I am sick to the back bollock of seeing your dad.

seepage

July 06, 2019, 10:11:52 PM #93 Last Edit: July 06, 2019, 10:33:40 PM by seepage
just seen your dad on the train, marking key words from the Hornby catalog in highlighter pen then throwing the pages out the window.

seepage

just seen your dad posting on CaB just to avoid the edit bug.

rasta-spouse

Just seen your dad summarising Leviticus to a precocious open-minded minor.

Just seen your dad whistling the theme to The X-files while urinating on some corrugated iron.

Just seen your dad on the passenger list of the Costa Concordia.

Just seen your dad incessantly complimenting the neighbour's wife on how she's lost weight.

Just seen your dad on the guestbook at the Avanos Hair Museum.


>>>  this is why your mother drinks and your front lawn is in a state!

Lordofthefiles

Just seen your dad. He was gettin the Turkish barber to redo the tramlines in his back hair, reckon he's got a date.

Gregory Torso

Saw your dad on the Jeremy Vine show, in the audience. He put his hand up and asked Jeremy if his "vine" could support a full tarzan swingin on it. He got booed off the TV. Everyone was watching.

BlodwynPig

Just seen your dad visiting the local police station - turning in his massive stash of child pornography, telling the desk sergeant that his son is a very sick individual indeed.

Gregory Torso

Just seen your dad in cash convertors, he looked like a jigsaw some kid had hammered and bashed together all wrong. He told me his new girlfriend can fit six frankfurters inside her and then disappeared in a cloud of lynx.

Cold Meat Platter

Just seen your da shooing away the dog and wiping the peanut butter off of himself and onto some bread.

rasta-spouse

Just seen your dad on the writing credits for Tonight with Vladimir Putin.

Just seen your dad blowing on a trumpet in a dinghy. When he realised Space: 1999 was on Forces TV he rowed back to shore and drove home.

Just seen your dad on a neardeath compilation. As he falls off the roof onto the barbecue and the girl screams the video cuts out.


>>>> he thought he was going to die at sea like Robert Maxwell!

Lordofthefiles

Just seen your dad, he was in the front row on Bon Jovi's "Livin' on a Prayer" video.

BlodwynPig

Quote from: Lordofthefiles on July 29, 2019, 06:48:08 PM
Just seen your dad, he was in the front row on Bon Jovi's "Livin' on a Prayer" video.

Fantastic.

Just seen your dad rocking an old skool Michael Bolton mullet to a uber-funfzig party in Bremen

Gregory Torso

Just seen your dad cementing himself into the driveway, screaming "NO SIR I WILL NOT". Fair fucks, nah i mean really, fair fucking fucks to the lad. No one likes being cold called do they? On a monday evening when you're just started defrosting the canker pie? You are having a fuckin giraffe mate, leave it out you cunt, i'm having my tea. you people, you just won't leave me alone, and into the ground he goes.

Gregory Torso

Just seen your father going out to dinner wearing a t-shirt with Mickey Mouse smoking a blunt on it and the t-shirt says "Head Of Da Motherfukin' Club House".

Gregory Torso

Your dad asking a puddle if he can please have a sip of its water.

seepage

just seen your dad trying to make rosé wine in the garden, silly sod.

seepage

just seen your dad down the library, typing out his first program in BASIC. Wanker.

Gregory Torso

Your dad, lord of all crabs


BlodwynPig

Quote from: seepage on August 04, 2019, 02:10:09 PM
just seen your dad down the library, typing out his first program in BASIC. Wanker.

Prints the crude image of a naked woman on the dot matrix printer...takes ages and he chucks it in the bin, the sexual urge long since dissipated.

Replies From View

If your dad is playing at something I don't know what it is


Either way I don't like it

Twit 2

I have just seen your father repointing the brickwork on Satan's House of Arses. Haborym was stood beside him tutting at the workmanship. Your father blamed his trowl and there was cursing from both parties. I later followed him to a Gregg's where he bought a dry and tasteless pasty, crying by this point. I watch him every day in fact, I am there for all his failings and fleeting victories. All his pasties. Your father's vicissitudes, what a song! What music he makes in his sobbing. He strums the galactic lyre in a closed down Halfords.

BlodwynPig

Quote from: Twit 2 on August 04, 2019, 10:16:29 PM
I have just seen your father repointing the brickwork on Satan's House of Arses. Haborym was stood beside him tutting at the workmanship. Your father blamed his trowl and there was cursing from both parties. I later followed him to a Gregg's where he bought a dry and tasteless pasty, crying by this point. I watch him every day in fact, I am there for all his failings and fleeting victories. All his pasties. Your father's vicissitudes, what a song! What music he makes in his sobbing. He strums the galactic lyre in a closed down Halfords.

Yours Faithfully

God the Holy Ghost

Earnest Sexpot

Just seen your dad kissing his hand for practice

Bazooka

Just seen your dad with my dad, down at the food bank, both are CEO's at Muck Donalds, but they only came out with rubber gloves and no burgers....

Sherringford Hovis


BlodwynPig

It's Father's day and your dad is rabidly searching punternet using the NordVPN you got him

Bazooka

Just seen your dad mopping the sweat off his forehead with a slice of warburtons thick white slice.

seepage

just seen your dad by the bins, giving a one-inch punch to a piece of polystyrene foam