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Get ready for Christmas :-D


Just seen your dad

Started by Bazooka, June 27, 2019, 12:14:13 PM

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Replies From View

Your dad is on the roof btw saying he's going to take after Rod Hull.

Bazooka

Just seen your Dad frantically looking for Woolworths on the high street,  I gave him a swig of my Apple Tango to keep his blood sugar levels up.

BlodwynPig

Has anyone seen Bazooka?

I just seen your dad shove an rolled up old carpet into the back of van. Could have sworn it was twitching

non capisco

Just seen your dad in a shop with one of those big wicker laundry baskets and he was stood by it stripped to his pants with a towel on his head miming playing a flute.

Not very PC.

non capisco

Just seen your dad dancing about on a bit of old lino looking through the bars of a playground going "Well, my name's Grimey Gerald and I'm here to say/I like to rap in a grimey way!"

Bit off, that. What's he playing at?

non capisco

Just seen your dad naked in Bexleyheath town centre bellowing "I AM OMNICRON, EATER OF WORLDS!!"

Not again.

Replies From View

Sorry buddy but I've just seen your dad ironing cress into all of your underpants  :(

non capisco

Just seen your dad queuing at Chelmsford beer festival telling a stranger "Of course, you know Michael Barrymore's made a new sitcom, don't you? Only Pools And Corpses!" and then the bloke went "Oh, right, has he?" and just walked out of the queue.

Your dad's patter is shit.

Cold Meat Platter


Fishfinger

Painting an anus on an android. It's good he's keeping busy.


BlodwynPig

Dressed as a mole being shoved into the back of a police van.

Bazooka

Quote from: BlodwynPig on July 03, 2019, 01:38:15 PM
Dressed as a mole being shoved into the back of a police van.

*Gave me a genuine 4am belly laugh, you wanker.

BlodwynPig

Quote from: Bazooka on July 03, 2019, 09:02:13 PM
*Gave me a genuine 4am belly laugh, you wanker.

Its what the arresting officer said too

Replies From View

Your dad is so generic looking how would I even know

BlodwynPig

Quote from: Replies From View on July 04, 2019, 12:22:47 PM
Your dad is so generic looking how would I even know

Mole costume

Just seen your dad at the returns desk in B&Q, asking the 17 year old goth lass if she fancies going out for a drink on Saturday.

BlodwynPig

Quote from: Huxleys Babkins on July 04, 2019, 01:05:55 PM
Just seen your dad at the returns desk in B&Q, asking the 17 year old goth lass if she fancies going out for a drink on Saturday.

*whomp* that is a real sucker punch to the stomach.

(cos I did this recently, but in a Homebase)

Fishfinger

Ceremonially draped into a canal.

Fishfinger

Mulched at the push of a button. Not what he would've wanted, had anyone asked.

Fishfinger

Dalek top, nothing below, but you could tell.

Fishfinger

Just seen your dad on one hit point, but still giving it all that to a bunch of goblins. Fair play.

Lordofthefiles

Just seen your dad attempting a streak on centre court.
Got one of his brogues caught in his kegs and fell face first onto the concrete steps.
He was crying, face covered in snot, blood and gravel, as security lifted him away to the cells. Last thing I heard was him shouting "don't tell my son, I'd die if he knew how low I've sunk".
...Whoops, forget I said owt.

rasta-spouse

Just seen your dad aiming his gloom beam at Montenegro.

Just seen your dad watching A View to a Kill with Cornish subtitles.

Just seen your dad telling a curious fly-tipper that instagram can't show you his broken heart.

>>> maybe that's why Rory Stewart is his kind of guy!

Gregory Torso

Seen your dad running himself an early grave.

Gregory Torso

Your dad made a song about how much of a great dad he is. He played it to everyone on a radio in his garden. There was no sound or any music, but he made everyone listen for three hours.

Gregory Torso

Saw your dad in a pet shop asking the owner why he keeps his children in prison.

BlodwynPig

Saw your dad driving on the M4, hand behind his head, look of bliss on his face. "Driverless car" he yells at me as his zips past before plowing into the BP service station outside Chippenham, killing ten. Daft oaf believes everything you tell him about technology apparently. But I won't tell them in court.

a duncandisorderly

he said to say "hello".

so- "hello".

you don't look much like him. shame.

BlodwynPig

See your dad do a livestream suicide video, ranting at the world and how he's owed big money by some dodgy "cam show operation". No wi-fi in deepest Norfolk. I won't reveal which barn it was...it wasn't pretty...no-one needs to know...pigs'll clear him up.