Last of the Summer Wine but it's an episode of Black Mirror.

[Glebe]

NORA BATTY: Oh give over, phone! You would have to start ringin' on a rare occasion when I'm sweepin' me doorstep!

NORA goes to answer the phone.

BATTY: Hello? Who is this?

COMPO (down phone): Hehehehe, hello Nora! Guess where I am!

BATTY: Oh, not you! I suppose you're in a phone box somewhere?

COMPO: No, I'm out in a field with Foggy and Clegg! I got meself one of them 'mobile' phones!

BATTY: Oh give over!

NORA hangs up. Cut to COMPO, CLEGG and FOGGY in a field.

COMPO: Hehehehe!!! She didn't sound too happy!

CLEGG: You've become addicted to that bloomin' thing, Compo! Putting in new contacts, sending 'texts'... the lot!

COMPO: This is the future, mate! Everyone will have one of these in a few years!

FOGGY: Of course a few years back in the eighties, only business yuppies had them phones, and they were the size of bricks!! I recall using walkie-talking type phones during the war to communicate back to base!

CLEGG: Hey look, it's Howard and Marina!

HOWARD: Ahem, hello you lot! M-m'self and Marina are just taking an innocent walk, that's all!

MARINA: Yes, that's all!

HOWARD: O-oh please, lads, don't tell Pearl I was out here with Marina!

CLEGG: Don't worry Howard, as usual our lips are sealed!

COMPO: Here, Howard, use my mobile phone to ring Pearl and tell you you're been delayed, but are on your way home! That'll placate her!

HOWARD: Oh thanks, Compo... amazing, these modern things!

The lads rock up at Ivy's Cafe.

IVY: What do you lot want?

FOGGY: Three teas, please, Ivy!

COMPO: Actually, I'll have a modern, American-style 'coffee' please, Ivy!

CLEGG: He's gone up in the world since he got that phone!

IVY: Put that thing away! I don't like having modern technology in me depressing old caf!

CLEGG: Yes, and the food's out of date, too!

IVY serves them, then goes out the back to do a stock check.

COMPO: Heh-hee, I'll just have a quick go on me mobile! P'raps send a text to young Barry, he's got a mobile an' all!

CLEGG: I reckon you'd be best off taking it easy on that thing, Compo.

FOGGY: Yes, there's no telling what effect overuse could have on a person!

COMPO: Nonsense, tha perfectly, safe! Now I'll just... oh... oh dear...

CLEGG: Look, Foggy! He's gone into some kind of electronically-induced trance!

FOGGY: His eyes! His eyes! They've gone blank! It's as if his very soul is being sucked into a digital dimension!

CLEGG: COMPOOOOOOOOOO!!!

THE END!

[Gregory Torso]

Compo and Clegg try out a new VR game "Randy Bath-Tub Hilltop Rampage" and end up getting mad horny inside the simulation. Their children are born covered in knitwear.

[Gregory Torso]

It is the FUTURE. FOGGY is now a ROBOT. Unfortunately due to Holmfirth's damp, misty climate, he seizes up in a field and rusts. "Good job mate" says Compo, patting the Foggy Droid on its shoulder. "Yeah, brilliant, really fucking brilliant" says Clegg, walking off with his hands in his pockets.

[BlodwynPig]

Thora Hird reincarnates as a Stanna Stair Lift. Clegg sends it back as the staircase in his house was built in 1765. A dream pop version of Only the Lonely soundtracks the ending.

[willpurry]

It is the FUTURE. FOGGY is now a ROBOT. Unfortunately due to Holmfirth's damp, misty climate, he seizes up in a field and rusts. "Good job mate" says Compo, patting the Foggy Droid on its shoulder. "Yeah, brilliant, really fucking brilliant" says Clegg, walking off with his hands in his pockets.

Foggy's arm falls off just before the end of the credits.

[Gregory Torso]

Nora Batty gets an occipital implant and disintegrates Compo's nutsack as he flies past in his hover-bath.

[Glebe]

Nora Batty gets an occipital implant and disintegrates Compo's nutsack as he flies past in his hover-bath.

Meanwhile, Wesley is in the shed constructing a space pod.

[BlodwynPig]

Meanwhile, Wesley is in the shed constructing a space pod.

Isnt that Sci-Fi Summer Wine?

[Ferris]

Compo's new iBathtub becomes sentient as it whizzes down the hill, and veers inexorably towards the Holmfirth village post office. Compo realizes but is unable to avert disaster. There are no survivors. He skypes Nora Batty on the way to his doom. With hilarious consequences!

"Makes you think"
- The Times of Yorkshire

"Scary because it is so plausible, it could definitely happen"
- Angler's Weekly

[Gregory Torso]

Compo finally meets his estranged son but when his son turns round he's Asian. "Fuckin' ell" says Compo, and because it's the future, an App that bollocks you for swearing begins shouting at him for seven hours.

[Gregory Torso]

Foggy fucks a pig.

[Glebe]

FOGGY: Now, Wesley is in his garage preparing the motor vehicle. Clegg, stand at the ready. Compo, wait here in preparation for said vehicle. And put y'gloves on, for heaven's sake, man!

COMPO: Ah can't put me flippin' gloves on cos ah can't see wot ahm doin' out these flippin' goggles!

AUDIENCE: Ahahahaha.

CLEGG: Polo: The mint with the hole.

WESLEY: Make way! Vehicle coming through!

The harmonica soundtrack does a jokey little riff on 'Greased Lightenin' from the musical Grease.

COMPO: Thou can't expect me to drive in thaaaught?!?

FOGGY: Don't worry, it's all perfectly safe, Fletcher!

COMPO: Okay then, Foggeh... but be it on your head if anything happens to mah and poor Nora's left heartbroken!

Compo gets in the car and revs it up.

CLEGG: Cough cough... help, Gromit, there's lots of smoke!

FOGGY: Come on, give it a bit more welly, Compo!

WESLEY: What's 'e doin'? 'es veerin' out of control!

COMPO: Ah can't control it thaz no breaking system!

THORA HIRD: Shit, he's gone off like a light!

FOGGY: Fuck me, he's gone supersonic!

COMPO suddenly disappears in a ray of crystals.

WESLEY: Where's 'e gone?!

FOGGY: I don't... wait, what's that glimmer of light?

CLEGG: It's Compo... but he's in a kind of fragmented, fourth-dimensional state!

FOGGY: It's... it's beautiful!

CLEGG: It's like gazing through the many facets of a diamond!

COMPO: *BZZT-AGITNAGITNAGIT-BZZT*

SMILER: I 'ate you, Compo!

THE END!

[Alberon]

Compo is replaced by a wanking hologram. No one notices.

[BlodwynPig]

Compo "whats that?"

Foggy "t'internet"

Compo "you what?"

Foggy "t'internet"

Compo "oh right, the internet. Are Nora's nudes still on Robb's celebs?"

Clegg "Robb died over a decade ago"

Compo "what about waybackmachine?"

All this, in a bathtub, down a hill.

[Gregory Torso]

Compo, Clegg and Foggy slide down a hill on an iPad, looking uncomfortable and miserable.

[BlodwynPig]

Scene: a forlorn hill, empty in the grey dusk, only ghosts now and a rusting bathtub overturned in the field at the bottom.

A dance rave starts up shattering the stillness

[Glebe]

CLEGG: Well that was a nice walk in the country! Now we're back in the depressing 'Victorian workhouse' town!

COMPO: Hang on Norm, just gonna engage me VR eye implants... there we go, thank fuck for that, now I can escape this fucking horrible decrepit shithole.

[GMTV]

Compo eventually resorts to murder to get his bitcoin back

[Lordofthefiles]

Nora is on a train to London to take part in some sort of video recording with Prime Minister, Michael Callow.
As she smiles and looks from the train window, watching the landscape fly by, she wonders in the back of her mind why they insisted on her bringing the lube and stirrups.