Author Topic: What is your greatest invention?  (Read 2616 times)

shiftwork2

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Re: What is your greatest invention?
« Reply #60 on: July 09, 2019, 12:45:03 PM »
Dipping a crumpet in egg to fill the holes, frying the fucker and putting a rasher or two of streaky on top.  I call it the Breakfast Bastard and it is rather fine.

Re: What is your greatest invention?
« Reply #61 on: July 09, 2019, 12:47:23 PM »
Dipping a crumpet in egg to fill the holes, frying the fucker and putting a rasher or two of streaky on top.  I call it the Breakfast Bastard and it is rather fine.

I invented putting marmite and cheese on crumpets then grilling them.

Dex Sawash

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Re: What is your greatest invention?
« Reply #62 on: July 09, 2019, 02:02:09 PM »

You know those fasteners meant to be turned with a coin? Nothing but a coin really works well for turning them.


Cerys

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Re: What is your greatest invention?
« Reply #63 on: July 09, 2019, 08:05:01 PM »
It was, yeah.

Yay!  I'm so relieved.

Re: What is your greatest invention?
« Reply #64 on: July 09, 2019, 08:14:28 PM »
Here's an invention idea: Scampi Fries but in big 'grab bag' servings.

FerriswheelBueller

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Re: What is your greatest invention?
« Reply #65 on: July 09, 2019, 08:15:35 PM »
Some very solid inventions on this page. The egg crumpet things sounds mega

icehaven

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Re: What is your greatest invention?
« Reply #66 on: July 11, 2019, 07:04:50 AM »
Pringles tubes should have a break point halfway down so you can snap off the empty bit to make it easier to reach the ones at the bottom. Lid would still need to fit if you're the kind of weirdo who makes them last more than one sitting, but that would be do-able.

Cerys

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Re: What is your greatest invention?
« Reply #67 on: July 11, 2019, 09:32:03 AM »
Don't you just tip the tube and let gravity do its miraculous thing?

Better Midlands

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Re: What is your greatest invention?
« Reply #68 on: July 11, 2019, 12:15:57 PM »
Don't you just tip the tube and let gravity do its miraculous thing?

They should put foil and a plastic cap at each end, when you're half way through simply replace the plastic cap, flip the tube upside down, remove the second plastic cap and foil and enjoy the reconstituted potato snack from the top.

Re: What is your greatest invention?
« Reply #69 on: July 11, 2019, 08:51:43 PM »
I was instrumental in developing kettling.

Re: What is your greatest invention?
« Reply #70 on: July 11, 2019, 09:00:44 PM »
Space pringles: pringles mulched up into a paste and put in a foil bag.

Lost Oliver

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Re: What is your greatest invention?
« Reply #71 on: July 12, 2019, 02:22:56 PM »
Show us your shorts Ferris.

imitationleather

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Re: What is your greatest invention?
« Reply #72 on: July 12, 2019, 03:24:38 PM »
I was instrumental in developing kettling.



Me kettling hardstyle before you were even fucking born.

FerriswheelBueller

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Re: What is your greatest invention?
« Reply #73 on: July 12, 2019, 03:31:58 PM »
Show us your shorts Ferris.

Too late! They were a temporary fix, I went and bought new shorts. Old Levi’s have been thrown in bin.

Shoulders?-Stomach!

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Re: What is your greatest invention?
« Reply #74 on: July 12, 2019, 03:33:43 PM »


Me kettling hardstyle before you were even fucking born.

The Plod of Old London Town would kettle the Tomlinson out of that cunt

icehaven

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Re: What is your greatest invention?
« Reply #75 on: July 12, 2019, 03:44:57 PM »
Don't you just tip the tube and let gravity do its miraculous thing?

I often find gravity's thing is too many sliding out at awkward angles followed by all the broken crumb bits which go all over the floor. Maybe just special tubes for the similarly cack handed would be good then.

seepage

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Re: What is your greatest invention?
« Reply #76 on: July 12, 2019, 03:50:49 PM »
You know those pound shop tubes of superglue that don't have any actual glue inside? rather than bin them or take them back and get smacked in the face, tie a piece of string around the neck and hey presto: handy plumline.

pancreas

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Re: What is your greatest invention?
« Reply #77 on: July 12, 2019, 04:50:03 PM »


Me kettling hardstyle before you were even fucking born.

Before you were even fucking born, you mean, foetus.

Cuellar

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Re: What is your greatest invention?
« Reply #78 on: July 12, 2019, 04:54:23 PM »
I invented a system. This system has already netted me in excess of $10,000 through its adoption by many very influential Americans.

I am already developing a second system. Profits are, potentially, limitless for this system - this is a significant improvement on the last system, the profits of which were potentially VERY high, but were, by the system's very design, inherently limited.

I have found a way to circumvent this limitation. My systems are revolutionary.

imitationleather

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Re: What is your greatest invention?
« Reply #79 on: July 12, 2019, 05:09:16 PM »
I invented a system. This system has already netted me in excess of $10,000 through its adoption by many very influential Americans.

I am already developing a second system. Profits are, potentially, limitless for this system - this is a significant improvement on the last system, the profits of which were potentially VERY high, but were, by the system's very design, inherently limited.

I have found a way to circumvent this limitation. My systems are revolutionary.


Cuellar

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Re: What is your greatest invention?
« Reply #80 on: July 12, 2019, 05:10:17 PM »
I don't understand it, and I wont' respond to it.

Cloud

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Re: What is your greatest invention?
« Reply #81 on: July 12, 2019, 10:34:04 PM »
When there was nothing at the pizza hut buffet except margarita I got what was left of anything that looked like toppings at the salad bar. And so the pineapple and jalapeno pizza was born, and it was good.

Sherringford Hovis

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Re: What is your greatest invention?
« Reply #82 on: July 12, 2019, 11:17:23 PM »

FerriswheelBueller

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Re: What is your greatest invention?
« Reply #83 on: August 13, 2019, 02:31:00 AM »
Another belter from the mind of Ferris today - infant on a plane that you need to get to sleep? Simply fold a blanket and place it on the tray table directly in front of you for an instant child bed.

This one was shut down pretty quick by the squares at WestJet who feared my renegade technique would cut into their cot rental revenue stream (which obviously I’d spurned as being too expensive). They framed it in media-friendly “health positive” terms of course (“that’s not safe, you need to take him down from there right now, they’re really not designed to do that”) but I think we all know their fearful paymasters from Big Plane were pulling the strings.

Re: What is your greatest invention?
« Reply #84 on: August 13, 2019, 04:11:46 AM »
Re-useable condoms.

touchingcloth

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Re: What is your greatest invention?
« Reply #85 on: August 13, 2019, 09:30:14 AM »
Another belter from the mind of Ferris today - infant on a plane that you need to get to sleep? Simply fold a blanket and place it on the tray table directly in front of you for an instant child bed.

This one was shut down pretty quick by the squares at WestJet who feared my renegade technique would cut into their cot rental revenue stream (which obviously I’d spurned as being too expensive). They framed it in media-friendly “health positive” terms of course (“that’s not safe, you need to take him down from there right now, they’re really not designed to do that”) but I think we all know their fearful paymasters from Big Plane were pulling the strings.

You should have taken him into the loo and popped him on a blanket in the sink. Every time someone knocks on the door, just say "I AM SHITTING" for however many hours the flight is.

Don't actually do that. If your jism made flesh slept in a loo and made me wait for it I would be so mad.

Re: What is your greatest invention?
« Reply #86 on: August 13, 2019, 10:07:44 AM »
I'm sure you could turn an overhead locker into an infant cabin bed.

Norton Canes

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Re: What is your greatest invention?
« Reply #87 on: August 13, 2019, 10:17:29 AM »
Can't really say because I haven't patented it yet and I don't want any of you fuckers nicking it and making a fortune. Suffice to say, it's going to revolutionize the disposable shoe market.

Re: What is your greatest invention?
« Reply #88 on: August 13, 2019, 10:26:11 AM »
I put a bit of Marmite on my peanut butter toast in a confused stupor this morning. It tastes exactly like dry roasted peanuts.

Chollis

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Re: What is your greatest invention?
« Reply #89 on: August 13, 2019, 10:35:50 AM »
I put a bit of Marmite on my peanut butter toast in a confused stupor this morning. It tastes exactly like dry roasted peanuts.