Author Topic: Jokes you need explaining to you  (Read 15169 times)

Re: Jokes you need explaining to you
« Reply #150 on: July 11, 2019, 12:45:14 AM »
Knock Knock.
Who's there?
David.
David who?
David the doorbell so I had to knock.

This was in a Knock Knock joke book I had as a kid and just couldn't work it out, so I asked my Dad who didn't know but my clever fan of wordplay Mum mumsplained to me that David is a pun "They've hid", at which point the penny dropped. I then spent the next couple of weeks trying the joke out on everyone at school and gleefully not explaining it to anyone who didn't get it. Like the horrible little cunt I was.

I also had to have the famous Sneeds Feeds And Seeds (formerly Chucks) from The Simpsons joke explained by an ex.


I like imagining that David is actually the doorbell who can’t physically ring himself and so has to flounder around to knock on the door instead. Did such a scenario cross your mind as a child?

Re: Jokes you need explaining to you
« Reply #151 on: July 11, 2019, 12:49:47 AM »
I like imagining that David is actually the doorbell who can’t physically ring himself and so has to flounder around to knock on the door instead. Did such a scenario cross your mind as a child?

Ha ha! That's a lovely image (and an arguably better gag)!

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Re: Jokes you need explaining to you
« Reply #152 on: July 11, 2019, 03:07:25 AM »
...

Johnny Yesno

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Re: Jokes you need explaining to you
« Reply #153 on: July 13, 2019, 05:59:24 PM »
I had it down as him being so nervous he fucks up a simple sec/sex pun, goes back, and fucks up the correction. In my head he's going for "see you in a sec...s"

Yes, that's how I understood it too.

gib

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Re: Jokes you need explaining to you
« Reply #154 on: July 14, 2019, 12:35:14 AM »
Here's one that's been bothering me since I was little:

https://youtu.be/_ttcsDRfBPM?t=83

Russ Abbot and Les Dennis trading increasingly tall tales, until one of them says he doesn't believe the other. Punchline: "Well you knock ten foot off that whale, and I'll blow the lamp out."

Now, I can see how the line directly relates to what they said, but is there a secondary meaning I'm missing? Surely that can't be it, can it? I always assumed it must have been clever wordplay or something rude, but all these years later I still just can't see the joke. Looking forward to hearing your theories on what knocking ten foot off a whale and blowing a lamp out is slang for.

Next sketch is good.

Me and the big ship is off to the west coast of Africa.

Azores?

Has sails and everything.

Re: Jokes you need explaining to you
« Reply #155 on: July 14, 2019, 07:46:26 AM »
I like imagining that David is actually the doorbell who can’t physically ring himself and so has to flounder around to knock on the door instead. Did such a scenario cross your mind as a child?

It did!

Re: Jokes you need explaining to you
« Reply #156 on: September 18, 2019, 03:47:27 PM »
Knock Knock.
Who's there?
David.
David who?
David the doorbell so I had to knock.

This was in a Knock Knock joke book I had as a kid and just couldn't work it out, so I asked my Dad who didn't know but my clever fan of wordplay Mum mumsplained to me that David is a pun "They've hid", at which point the penny dropped. I then spent the next couple of weeks trying the joke out on everyone at school and gleefully not explaining it to anyone who didn't get it. Like the horrible little cunt I was.

I also had to have the famous Sneeds Feeds And Seeds (formerly Chucks) from The Simpsons joke explained by an ex.

This joke wouldn't need explaining if in the punchline you commit to the accent implied by "David" - "d'eyve 'id the doorbell so oi 'ad ta knock".

OK I've got one. Why Bother:

"I like to think I mowed down as many whites as I did blacks. The Koreans did very badly out of the whole deal."

The only thing I could think of was that maybe Koreans are considered neither white nor black, so maybe he mowed down twice as many? Only they are basically white so that doesn't make sense to me.

the

Re: Jokes you need explaining to you
« Reply #157 on: September 18, 2019, 04:26:10 PM »
OK I've got one. Why Bother:

"I like to think I mowed down as many whites as I did blacks. The Koreans did very badly out of the whole deal."

The only thing I could think of was that maybe Koreans are considered neither white nor black, so maybe he mowed down twice as many? Only they are basically white so that doesn't make sense to me.

The line about the fate of the Koreans is a topper, mentioned in addition to his 'equality' justification - but he's basically damned that justification by introducing the doom of a third racial category. (And that category is also very funny because it's so specific.)

Listening back to it, it's scary how Peter Cook could just instantly pull that perfectly-formed self-damning bluffery out of the air, each utterance a comedy gemstone.

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Re: Jokes you need explaining to you
« Reply #158 on: September 18, 2019, 08:13:16 PM »
I also had to have the famous Sneeds Feeds And Seeds (formerly Chucks) from The Simpsons joke explained by an ex.

Chuck's Fucks and Sucks? Why would a shop be called '[anything] Fucks and Sucks'. Why, above all, would a seed shop be called 'x Fucks and Sucks'

Doesn't make any sense.

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Re: Jokes you need explaining to you
« Reply #159 on: September 18, 2019, 10:01:25 PM »
Julian:   Do you think he'd enjoy Così Fan Tutte?
Ken:   Mozart?
Sandy:   Please yourself, we only fix the seats.




Hard to get to the bottom of this [audience erupts].  Obviously there's a hint of "arse" in Mozart, but I can't work it out. If it's an obscure Polari pun, how does it get such a quick laugh?

I wonder if it's Feldman and Took amusing themselves by planting a non sequitur to see if the audience will react automatically because of the rhythm of the crosstalk.

yes, almost certainly. all of the subsequent attempts to make sense of this- certainly the ones here- are examining the thing far more closely than makes sense when you remember that it got a big laugh instantly on the night. we're disadvantaged in this by not being part of that audience, already in thrall to williams especially... the sense of occasion, the rhythm of the delivery, & (not least) williams himself. almost certainly took & feldman (& probably williams too) would've enjoyed enormously being able to leave the placeholder gag in there (perhaps intending to replace it or finesse it later) & know that the audience would laugh at the delivery anyway.
there's a technical term that comedy writers use for placeholders that they mean to improve/replace later on but that are necessary for the shape of the script. I recall seeing a link to a glossary of such terms on here in the past.

[edit] googled.... https://misterandyriley.com/2017/03/31/how-to-talk-comedy-writer-updated-2/

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Re: Jokes you need explaining to you
« Reply #160 on: September 18, 2019, 10:16:10 PM »
this bit in particular:

Quote
Joke Impression – a line that sounds like a joke, and has the rhythms of a joke, but isn’t actually a joke. Also known as ‘hit and run’, ‘joke-like substance’ or ‘Jokoid’ [John Vorhaus, from his very good primer ‘The Comic Toolbox’]. A joke impression has its uses. When you are thundering down a first draft, and are more concerned about the overall structure than individual jokes, you can slot in a few joke impressions at spots in the script where a good joke is hard, in the full knowledge you can come back later and fix them. I’ve been told of a more aggressive use for them too. I was told that when Jim Davidson knows one of his writers will be in the audience, he picks out one joke which is clearly a dud, a joke impression, and tells the writer he’s going to deliver it anyway and make the audience laugh – even though it doesn’t make any sense. The subtext: Jim is saying “I’m the one who brings the magic, not you.”

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Re: Jokes you need explaining to you
« Reply #161 on: September 20, 2019, 04:28:59 AM »
Quote
Joke Impression – a line that sounds like a joke, and has the rhythms of a joke, but isn’t actually a joke. Also known as ‘hit and run’, ‘joke-like substance’ or ‘Jokoid’ [John Vorhaus, from his very good primer ‘The Comic Toolbox’]. A joke impression has its uses. When you are thundering down a first draft, and are more concerned about the overall structure than individual jokes, you can slot in a few joke impressions at spots in the script where a good joke is hard, in the full knowledge you can come back later and fix them. I’ve been told of a more aggressive use for them too. I was told that when Jim Davidson knows one of his writers will be in the audience, he picks out one joke which is clearly a dud, a joke impression, and tells the writer he’s going to deliver it anyway and make the audience laugh – even though it doesn’t make any sense. The subtext: Jim is saying “My audience is thick as pig shit and will laugh at any old bollocks if I tell them to.”

Interesting, thanks!

Re: Jokes you need explaining to you
« Reply #162 on: September 20, 2019, 12:50:19 PM »
Chuck's Fucks and Sucks? Why would a shop be called '[anything] Fucks and Sucks'. Why, above all, would a seed shop be called 'x Fucks and Sucks'

Doesn't make any sense.

Stop getting The Simpsons wrong, it's Sneed's Feed & Seed, i.e. a feed and seed shop owned by someone named Sneed. Exactly what kind of establishment Chuck's Fuck & Suck was is left to your imagination. It doesn't have to have also been a seed shop back then does it?

Cuellar

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Re: Jokes you need explaining to you
« Reply #163 on: September 20, 2019, 12:57:54 PM »
But the fact that the sign doesn't specify what 'Chucks' was, implies that it was the SAME sort of shop, just a different owner.

Terrible terrible joke.

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Re: Jokes you need explaining to you
« Reply #164 on: September 20, 2019, 01:04:14 PM »
Clearly it was a brothel.

Re: Jokes you need explaining to you
« Reply #165 on: September 25, 2019, 04:06:33 PM »
Everyone loves this line, so I must be an idiot for being confused, but from Red Dwarf:

Rimmer: We can’t afford to take any chances. Jump up to red alert.
Kryten: Are you sure, sir? It does mean changing the bulb.

Does the bulb need to be changed because they only have one socket, and they have to put in different colour bulbs depending on the alert level, or do they have different sockets but the red alert bulb has blown and needs changing?

Re: Jokes you need explaining to you
« Reply #166 on: September 25, 2019, 04:11:50 PM »
The former

Re: Jokes you need explaining to you
« Reply #167 on: September 25, 2019, 04:13:38 PM »
Thanks. That does work better than the other option.

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Re: Jokes you need explaining to you
« Reply #168 on: September 25, 2019, 09:00:12 PM »
But the fact that the sign doesn't specify what 'Chucks' was, implies that it was the SAME sort of shop, just a different owner.

Terrible terrible joke.

completely agree. just because the name of the new owner of the feed and seed shop rhymes with feed and seed doesn't mean that  the previous owner's name had to have rhymed with the part of the name of the shop that came after his name, and even if this was the case, there's no reason for it having to have started with 'f' and 's'. it's a bad joke. sneed's feed and seed, formerly chuck's feed and seed.

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Re: Jokes you need explaining to you
« Reply #169 on: September 30, 2019, 01:18:59 AM »
Here's one that's been bothering me since I was little:

https://youtu.be/_ttcsDRfBPM?t=83

Russ Abbot and Les Dennis trading increasingly tall tales, until one of them says he doesn't believe the other. Punchline: "Well you knock ten foot off that whale, and I'll blow the lamp out."

Now, I can see how the line directly relates to what they said, but is there a secondary meaning I'm missing? Surely that can't be it, can it? I always assumed it must have been clever wordplay or something rude, but all these years later I still just can't see the joke. Looking forward to hearing your theories on what knocking ten foot off a whale and blowing a lamp out is slang for.

manning in 1975-

https://youtu.be/ra96Q4_qlHI?t=2105

it is just a thing about the two story-tellers knowing each other's tendency to exaggerate, it's as surface as that.
but you have to grasp the context of 'competitive' story-telling, something which along with many other direct/live/oral traditions, seems to be losing ground.

Re: Jokes you need explaining to you
« Reply #170 on: September 30, 2019, 09:59:34 AM »
Russ Abbot and Les Dennis trading increasingly tall tales, until one of them says he doesn't believe the other. Punchline: "Well you knock ten foot off that whale, and I'll blow the lamp out."

Now, I can see how the line directly relates to what they said, but is there a secondary meaning I'm missing? Surely that can't be it, can it? I always assumed it must have been clever wordplay or something rude, but all these years later I still just can't see the joke. Looking forward to hearing your theories on what knocking ten foot off a whale and blowing a lamp out is slang for.

Is part of the humour that cutting 10 feet off a whale is significantly harder than blowing a lamp out? I'm not sure, maybe it's just nice words/imagery.

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Re: Jokes you need explaining to you
« Reply #171 on: September 30, 2019, 01:06:12 PM »
Is part of the humour that cutting 10 feet off a whale is significantly harder than blowing a lamp out? I'm not sure, maybe it's just nice words/imagery.

He means tone down the lie, not literally cutting a piece off.

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Re: Jokes you need explaining to you
« Reply #172 on: October 01, 2019, 12:42:53 AM »
A blue whale's penis is ten feet long.  Coincidence?

Re: Jokes you need explaining to you
« Reply #173 on: October 01, 2019, 09:44:50 PM »
manning in 1975-

https://youtu.be/ra96Q4_qlHI?t=2105

it is just a thing about the two story-tellers knowing each other's tendency to exaggerate, it's as surface as that.
but you have to grasp the context of 'competitive' story-telling, something which along with many other direct/live/oral traditions, seems to be losing ground.

Nice find - that Manning retelling benefits from being about two actual fishermen, rather than a couple of 50s-throwback Teddy Boys (which makes no sense at all, really).

I always did understand the basic gag, but the wording and rhythm made young me assume there was a much cleverer secondary joke that I was missing, or an innuendo or something that I didn't understand. It's taken this thread, a good three-and-a-half decades later, for me to finally be convinced that there's nothing else at all beneath the surface! I can now rest easy.

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Re: Jokes you need explaining to you
« Reply #174 on: October 03, 2019, 11:48:43 AM »
Nice find - that Manning retelling benefits from being about two actual fishermen, rather than a couple of 50s-throwback Teddy Boys (which makes no sense at all, really).

I always did understand the basic gag, but the wording and rhythm made young me assume there was a much cleverer secondary joke that I was missing, or an innuendo or something that I didn't understand. It's taken this thread, a good three-and-a-half decades later, for me to finally be convinced that there's nothing else at all beneath the surface! I can now rest easy.

excellent. I liked it also because it showed manning in a good light for a change, but mainly because the protagonists are clearly, in his telling, the sorts of raconteurs who'd perhaps actually have survived by telling stories for entertainment (where we get the expression 'dining out on a story'), & this restores the lost meaning to the gag; they're competing like neighbouring businesses, price-fixing....

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Re: Jokes you need explaining to you
« Reply #175 on: October 04, 2019, 12:02:06 PM »
Everyone loves this line, so I must be an idiot for being confused, but from Red Dwarf:

Rimmer: We can’t afford to take any chances. Jump up to red alert.
Kryten: Are you sure, sir? It does mean changing the bulb.

Does the bulb need to be changed because they only have one socket, and they have to put in different colour bulbs depending on the alert level, or do they have different sockets but the red alert bulb has blown and needs changing?

Further to phantom_power's explanation, I've always thought it was also a nice hint back to smaller-scale, "cosier" early Dwarf and a reminder of the essential laziness of the crew. Though that's maybe just my take.

Re: Jokes you need explaining to you
« Reply #176 on: October 04, 2019, 03:29:44 PM »
The red alert thing is obviously supposed to indicate how shitty everything is and it is a funny joke, but I've just been thinking that being as I work in a tiny shitty office that for some reason has emergency lighting that requires testing every 6 months, wouldn't any kind of spacecraft have some kind of sophisticated alert system for life-threatening events? Thanks for ruining the joke, guys!

Re: Jokes you need explaining to you
« Reply #177 on: October 11, 2019, 10:07:49 AM »
I don't get the hunky barista scene in the last ep of IT Crowd.

Jen goes into the coffee shop and it's all sexual and he makes a perfect (and free) coffee and does a top drawer picture of her in chocolate sprinkles in the froth.

Raving about the coffee, Roy goes with her next time and it's same barista, but makes a balls of the coffee and does a shit pic.

It is her imagination (the first coffee), or is it the barista who feels threated by Roy's presence and puts him off his coffee-stride? Is a clever joke that I've missed or is just rubbish?

Cuellar

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Re: Jokes you need explaining to you
« Reply #178 on: October 11, 2019, 10:13:34 AM »
Flirty barista doesn't give a shit when it's a man, but puts the effort in to flirt with a woman? I dunno, can only vaguely remember that scene.

Re: Jokes you need explaining to you
« Reply #179 on: October 11, 2019, 10:28:57 AM »
I believe it's a subliminal message from Linehan about heteronormativity and cisgenderism being the only viable way for society to function