Tip jar

If you like CaB and wish to support it, you can use PayPal or KoFi. Thank you, and I hope you continue to enjoy the site - Neil.

Buy Me a Coffee at ko-fi.com

Support CaB

Recent

Welcome to Cook'd and Bomb'd. Please login or sign up.

March 28, 2024, 06:46:38 PM

Login with username, password and session length

Jokes you need explaining to you

Started by solidified gruel merchant, July 05, 2019, 04:23:44 PM

Previous topic - Next topic

weekender

Quote from: lankyguy95 on July 06, 2019, 07:01:38 PMI think hampipe's suggestion seems more likely.

That a man decides to shave his pubes at a shelter where beaten women and abused women seek sanctuary seems much more logical, now you point it out.

lankyguy95

In hampipe's suggestion I think mowing the lawn means just that.

If I know what he means.

Twed


David Letterman's "Oprah, Uma" thing at the Oscars, I never got it. Is it just that they both have weird names?

up_the_hampipe

Quote from: Twed on July 06, 2019, 07:44:16 PM
Glad you agree that it is terrible

You did this shit in the Cumtown thread. You're like Mel B when she was on Big Fat Quiz, unability to grasp the concepts of irony or absurdity, just being a miserable fart because she takes life so seriously.

The joke is not just "that's what she said". Jeselnik's persona is that of a terrible person, so in the joke he's bragging about something that's obviously terrible, applying a classic played out innuendo ironically.

Twed

What year was the Cumtown thread and can I please see your journal written in blood?

up_the_hampipe

Quote from: Twed on July 06, 2019, 08:17:13 PM
What year was the Cumtown thread and can I please see your journal written in blood?

Might not have been that thread actually, but my point still stands, the writing in the journal gets a bit smudged.

McChesney Duntz

Quote from: Carpool Dragon on July 06, 2019, 07:58:15 PM
David Letterman's "Oprah, Uma" thing at the Oscars, I never got it. Is it just that they both have weird names?

I can't say for sure, but I always thought it was kind of a tribute to an old Thomas Meehan New Yorker casual called "Yma Dream," a very funny piece he later adapted for Anne Bancroft to perform on stage:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WdagPyHgfFg

It is kind of obscure, though, at least to an Oscar-sized crowd, so maybe not. All I know is that Letterman thought the bit never worked because he wanted the control room to cut to Oprah and Uma in the audience every time he said it, and they never did. Of course, once he perceived the joke was tanking, he just kept going back to it, which usually worked like gangbusters on late-night TV but, for an Oscar-sized crowd blah blah blah.

Quote from: McChesney Duntz on July 06, 2019, 08:38:25 PM
I can't say for sure, but I always thought it was kind of a tribute to an old Thomas Meehan New Yorker casual called "Yma Dream," a very funny piece he later adapted for Anne Bancroft to perform on stage:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WdagPyHgfFg

It is kind of obscure, though, at least to an Oscar-sized crowd, so maybe not. All I know is that Letterman thought the bit never worked because he wanted the control room to cut to Oprah and Uma in the audience every time he said it, and they never did. Of course, once he perceived the joke was tanking, he just kept going back to it, which usually worked like gangbusters on late-night TV but, for an Oscar-sized crowd blah blah blah.
Ah OK, still shite but makes sense now, cheers.

bigfatheart

At the risk of turning the Jeselnik joke into a new Best of the Beatles, could it be that 'mowing the lawn', rather than meaning trimming pubes, might mean performing oral sex on a woman? And the battered woman's shelter is an unkempt lady's fanny. So he used to have a girlfriend with a poorly-maintained vagina, which he performed oral sex on. Maybe?

a duncandisorderly

Quote from: bigfatheart on July 06, 2019, 09:37:17 PM
At the risk of turning the Jeselnik joke into a new Best of the Beatles, could it be that 'mowing the lawn', rather than meaning trimming pubes, might mean performing oral sex on a woman? And the battered woman's shelter is an unkempt lady's fanny. So he used to have a girlfriend with a poorly-maintained vagina, which he performed oral sex on. Maybe?

why not just say that, then? it's far funnier & more direct than the obfuscated version.

H-O-W-L

"Domingo from Little Oakeley". Forgive me if it was in the Partridge thread but I'm a bit pissed up at the moment.

Is it just that Alan was a wanker and said his location?

DrGreggles

Quote from: H-O-W-L on July 06, 2019, 11:28:34 PM
"Domingo from Little Oakeley". Forgive me if it was in the Partridge thread but I'm a bit pissed up at the moment.

Is it just that Alan was a wanker and said his location?

It's more that it's a tiny village and an uncommon first name - probably the only person called Domingo living there.
The veil of secrecy is lifted somewhat.

Benjaminos

Indeed. He follows it up with 'marvellous little tapas bar there', just to ram the joke home.

Maurice Yeatman

Quote from: Benjaminos on July 07, 2019, 12:12:07 AM
Indeed. He follows it up with 'marvellous little tapas bar there', just to ram the joke home.

To me it's a great joke topped by an even better one.

A similar joke 17 years later might seem like ramming the joke home because of Partridge's current familiarity. I wonder how much of a dilemma that is for the writers.

BeardFaceMan

In Bottom,  when Richie tells his date "I'll be back in a mo... a sex mo." Still trying to work that one out.

Gregory Torso

I had a book of Giles Brandreth's Hilarious Book Of Jokes Bumper Book or whatever, a big joke book you know, amd there was this joke that I never could understand, and I'm still not sure I really do:

"What's that gash on your forehead?"
"I bit myself."
"How did you do that?"
"I stood on a chair."

I mean what the hell, Gile Randreth, in what kind of world does that make sense?

Jumblegraws

Quote from: Gregory Torso on July 07, 2019, 08:54:38 AM
I had a book of Giles Brandreth's Hilarious Book Of Jokes Bumper Book or whatever, a big joke book you know, amd there was this joke that I never could understand, and I'm still not sure I really do:

"What's that gash on your forehead?"
"I bit myself."
"How did you do that?"
"I stood on a chair."

I mean what the hell, Gile Randreth, in what kind of world does that make sense?
Seems like just one of those deliberate lapse-in-logic quips, like when someone is overwhelmed at work and says something like "when I left for lunch I passed myself coming back into the office". So in this case, propping yourself up on a chair is a common household solution for accessing something otherwise out of reach, but here this familiar method doesn't make sense, and the second speaker is comically treating the positioning of their forehead as higher up than the mouth as the issue rather than the fact that it's physically impossible to contort oneself such that one can bite one's own forehead. This equals funny.
You probably surmised this for yourself. It is a fucking strange inclusion for a joke book as opposed to a conversation between Groucho and Chico Marx.

Replies From View

Quote from: up_the_hampipe on July 06, 2019, 08:09:59 PM
Jeselnik's persona is that of a terrible person, so in the joke he's bragging about something that's obviously terrible, applying a classic played out innuendo ironically.

Trust me this is not a good concept or anything.

Replies From View

Quote from: BeardFaceMan on July 07, 2019, 08:24:13 AM
In Bottom,  when Richie tells his date "I'll be back in a mo... a sex mo." Still trying to work that one out.

Not sure but is he conflating "back in a few secs" and "back in a mo"?  I vaguely remember him saying the line but can't really recall anything about it.

Jockice

#50
Quote from: Jumblegraws on July 07, 2019, 10:05:01 AM
Seems like just one of those deliberate lapse-in-logic quips, like when someone is overwhelmed at work and says something like "when I left for lunch I passed myself coming back into the office". So in this case, propping yourself up on a chair is a common household solution for accessing something otherwise out of reach, but here this familiar method doesn't make sense, and the second speaker is comically treating the positioning of their forehead as higher up than the mouth as the issue rather than the fact that it's physically impossible to contort oneself such that one can bite one's own forehead. This equals funny.
You probably surmised this for yourself. It is a fucking strange inclusion for a joke book as opposed to a conversation between Groucho and Chico Marx.


When I used to write the music stuff for the local paper in my early 20s I referred to a single as having 'shot straight into the top ten. At number 37.'' To me it was an obvious lapse in logic gag but I ended up having a memo sent to me from the news editor accusing me of making the paper look stupid AND a huge argument with my dad over it, because he seemed to take it as some sort of sign that I was an idiot.  To this day (and considering my writing was and still is full of daft bits of wordplay) I can't see why people found that so objectionable. To me it was obviously a joke. Perhaps not a great joke but a joke nonetheless.

Jockice

Quote from: Benjaminos on July 07, 2019, 12:12:07 AM
Indeed. He follows it up with 'marvellous little tapas bar there', just to ram the joke home.
Ha! I've actually only just got that. Brilliant!

Jockice

Quote from: Jockice on July 07, 2019, 12:17:19 PM

When I used to write the music stuff for the local paper in my early 20s I referred to a single as having 'shot straight into the top ten. At number 37.'' To me it was an obvious lapse in logic gag but I ended up having a memo sent to me from the news editor accusing me of making the paper look stupid AND a huge argument with my dad over it, because he seemed to take it as some sort of sign that I was an idiot.  To this day (and considering my writing was and still is full of daft bits of wordplay) I can't see why people found that so objectionable. To me it was obviously a joke. Perhaps not a great joke but a joke nonetheless.

It was also a reference to this. Too subtle for my own good sometimes. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=o8zsbZmjhVE

magval

Quote from: Jockice on July 07, 2019, 12:20:55 PM
Ha! I've actually only just got that. Brilliant!

Would you mind clueing me in, don't get that at all as a second gag.

the

Quote from: magval on July 07, 2019, 01:41:05 PMWould you mind clueing me in, don't get that at all as a second gag.

Domingo is a Spanish name. So, assuming that Little Oakley is a small village, it follows that Domingo either works at or is the owner of said tapas bar. Thus blowing his cover even more.

magval

Class, that's clear as day actually.

up_the_hampipe

Quote from: Replies From View on July 07, 2019, 12:08:41 PM
Trust me this is not a good concept or anything.

I trust my own judgement more than yours, thanks.

Pseudopath

Quote from: Jockice on July 07, 2019, 12:17:19 PM
shot straight into the top ten. At number 37

'Fraid I'm going to have to agree with your editor and your dad here. If you'd written something like "rocketed into the charts...at number 37", it would make more sense, but defining a numerical range then clarifying that it's outside this range doesn't make any comedic or mathematical sense.

Jockice

Quote from: Pseudopath on July 07, 2019, 03:35:18 PM
'Fraid I'm going to have to agree with your editor and your dad here. If you'd written something like "rocketed into the charts...at number 37", it would make more sense, but defining a numerical range then clarifying that it's outside this range doesn't make any comedic or mathematical sense.


Pah! That's all I have to say here. Pah!

Jumblegraws

Quote from: Pseudopath on July 07, 2019, 03:35:18 PM
'Fraid I'm going to have to agree with your editor and your dad here. If you'd written something like "rocketed into the charts...at number 37", it would make more sense, but defining a numerical range then clarifying that it's outside this range doesn't make any comedic or mathematical sense.
Mmm nah I'm with Jockice here, I like his version better because it (mildly) comments on the way words and terms drift from their original meaning and how repetition of stock phrases contributes to this. We live in a world where "literally" has a recognised non-literal meaning. Jockice was ahead of his time in pointing out the ostensive absurdities linguistic drift can produce.