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Guardian decides it is good

Started by pancreas, July 06, 2019, 03:21:37 PM

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BlodwynPig

Quote from: icehaven on July 08, 2019, 12:50:49 PM
The Blind Date column is excellent this week.

https://www.theguardian.com/lifeandstyle/2019/jul/06/blind-date-rachel-ty

Maggot of a man. Are most people of his age like that in London? Burn and destroy.

Hang on, this was The Guardian? Typical.


Icehaven

Quote from: The GuardianDid you go on somewhere?

Quote from: Blind Date Bellend''...I went and hung out with my fake cousin and a girl we met who was on a stopover in London.''

They really wanted to let him show himself up, didn't they?

Danger Man

Quote from: icehaven on July 08, 2019, 12:50:49 PM
The Blind Date column is excellent this week.

I'll tell you who the real minorities are, white heterosexuals in the Blind Date column, that's who.

Twed

Imagine keeping track of that. Imagine even delineating that category.

Danger Man

Imagine taking my posts seriously!

Twed

Imagine taking Bernard Manning's jokes seriously

There, you've tricked me into actually becoming The Guardian with your rotter-like behaviour.

Fambo Number Mive

What is a fake cousin? Read the article but don't understand what the bloke means. And he didn't score her properly.

Icehaven

#69
Quote from: Fambo Number Mive on July 08, 2019, 01:40:17 PM
What is a fake cousin? Read the article but don't understand what the bloke means. And he didn't score her properly.

No idea but he may be one of those people who often make oblique references to their own lives or spout in-jokes when around people they don't know, either because they're so in their own world that they neither notice nor care if the other person hasn't a clue what they're on about, or because they (often mistakenly) think it piques interest in them. It may be both in his case.

Twed

Good call. Somebody who can only be ahead on a trend by sourcing it from their own peer group.

Ferris

Quote from: icehaven on July 08, 2019, 01:52:21 PM
No idea but he may be one of those people who often make oblique references to their own lives or spout in-jokes when around people they don't know, either because they're so in their own world that they neither notice nor care if the other person hasn't a clue what they're on about, or because they (often mistakenly) think it piques interest in them. It may be both in his case.

"This is my cousin"

"Really?"

"...no"

The mind boggles


mr. logic

I like how he lets us all know that he gave the food to a homeless person.

Icehaven

Quote from: mr. logic on July 08, 2019, 02:03:16 PM
I like how he lets us all know that he gave the food to a homeless person.

Yes, another highlight.

Twed

In a just society we'd be giving him to a homeless person.

"Here, just fuck, kill or eat this mincing cunt satellite. Just try to make its mouth stop operating as quickly as possible."

Twed

"Can I mince him?"
"I like how you think."

Ambient Sheep

Linked from that was this mildly-amusing one:

https://www.theguardian.com/lifeandstyle/2019/jun/15/blind-date-hannah-tom

Heh perhaps we should have another thread for these so we can return this thread back to excoriating the rest of the Guardian's content...

Chollis

Quote from: mr. logic on July 08, 2019, 02:03:16 PM
I like how he lets us all know that he gave the food to a homeless person.

worst bit

Icehaven

If two grown adults leave a restaurant with enough food to hand out to the homeless without it being an insultingly token amount (''Here, have our last kofta!!) they either grossly over ordered in the first place, or they weren't hungry enough to warrant going there in the first place. 

mr. logic

Quote from: icehaven on July 08, 2019, 02:57:35 PM
If two grown adults leave a restaurant with enough food to hand out to the homeless without it being an insultingly token amount (''Here, have our last kofta!!) they either grossly over ordered in the first place, or they weren't hungry enough to warrant going there in the first place.

Consider that they had divided the leftovers too

Dr Rock

Homeless don't want your food, they are worried you've pissed in it.

PowerButchi

Vic Marks' stuff in there is good, mind. And David Squires.

Sebastian Cobb

If I want to impress a lady the two things I don't want to be doing is making her compete for my attention over a plate of food or watch me eat.

Icehaven

Quote from: mr. logic on July 08, 2019, 03:05:53 PM
Consider that they had divided the leftovers too

Exactly, two grown adults. Although by the sounds of it she clearly wanted to get outta there sharpish and the night was over by 9.30. Dunno what time they met but given he was half an hour late as well, they may have barely even spent an hour in the restaurant, she may have swept her half of the meal into a takeaway box and run out of the door.

Dr Rock

You're supposed to sneer at the Blind Date people. It's like a middle-class Jermey Kyle.

Icehaven

Quote from: Sebastian Cobb on July 08, 2019, 03:15:36 PM
If I want to impress a lady the two things I don't want to be doing is making her compete for my attention over a plate of food or watch me eat.

I don't think he was too worried about impressing her, given he apparently talked about himself all night, didn't listen to a thing she said, got pissed, carried his pint out to drink on the train*, then scored her a whopping 4 out of 10.

*Not even judging him for this, sort of thing I'd do if I was in a hurry, however not when trying to impress someone.

Icehaven

Quote from: Dr Rock on July 08, 2019, 03:19:51 PM
You're supposed to sneer at the Blind Date people. It's like a middle-class Jermey Kyle.

Given the majority of them seem to be well employed young Londoners it's largely punching up anyway.

kngen

Quote from: Jockice on July 07, 2019, 08:39:34 PM
Yip Frances is great. I've had a couple of chats with her on Twitter and she said that on her first trip to the office she felt a bit out of place not because of her disability, but because she has a Lincolnshire accent. I have mentioned my brief subbing stints in the Guardian's offices more than once before and that I've never heard so many posh voices in the one place at the same time. It's not even middle class, its beyond that. I'm sure that some of the staff's entire knowledge of the working classes is paying their nannies or cleaners. They have no idea at all what is happening outside their little bubble. Which is why we get smug bollocks like Pass Notes and that fake David Cameron's wife's diary thing they had, which is possibly the worst attempt at humour I've ever seen in my life.

And then there's the Scottish non-Oxbridge people who actually do all the work there. But yes, it really is a hive of self-regarding posh sods. I've relayed it here before, but I still marvel at the time I walked in on a senior editor (of reasonable vintage) pleading into their phone: 'But Mumsy, we won't be able to get up to the cottage in Holt before Saturday now ... '

I went back to my desk and Googled 'subscriptions to Class War magazine'.

BlodwynPig

Quote from: icehaven on July 08, 2019, 02:57:35 PM
If two grown adults leave a restaurant with enough food to hand out to the homeless without it being an insultingly token amount (''Here, have our last kofta!!) they either grossly over ordered in the first place, or they weren't hungry enough to warrant going there in the first place.

London, land of plenty