Author Topic: Having a lovely wee.  (Read 1074 times)

Having a lovely wee.
« on: July 09, 2019, 03:31:08 PM »
Is there anything better than a big wee, and I mean that. I don't want to be crass or childish, but I really do enjoy having a lovely long wee out of my willy. Please tell me about your most memorable wee. Mine was in Brooklyn over a decade ago, having failed to find any sort of public bathroom and at absolute breaking point, unloading the longest wee I've ever done into a random alley, convinced I would be stabbed or shot any moment.

Re: Having a lovely wee.
« Reply #1 on: July 09, 2019, 03:36:40 PM »
Is there anything better than a big wee

A big poo.

JesusAndYourBush

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Re: Having a lovely wee.
« Reply #2 on: July 09, 2019, 04:04:19 PM »
In one of the music papers some years ago I read a hilarious account of how some guy needed a piss really badly, getting to the stage where it's getting painful.  He finally finds a pub, it's busy, finally he finds the toilet door.  He's so desperate to go he unzips and starts pissing as he walks through the door, and discovers it's not the toilets but a wedding reception!

Sherringford Hovis

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Re: Having a lovely wee.
« Reply #3 on: July 09, 2019, 06:15:14 PM »
A lovely wee what?

Al Tha Funkee Homosapien

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Re: Having a lovely wee.
« Reply #4 on: July 09, 2019, 06:20:54 PM »
Nothing like the massive wee you do in the morning after a night on some quality pills/MDMA. Just spend all night not being able to wee and then suddenly....ahhhh beautiful. Like a happy temporary enlarged prostate with added gurning and hugging your mates.

Re: Having a lovely wee.
« Reply #5 on: July 09, 2019, 07:14:20 PM »
A big poo.

Both are satisfying in their own ways. But when you’re really busting for a wee and you finally let it out and the overwhelming feeling of relief turns to hysteria and you start laughing.
Don’t get that with a poo.

imitationleather

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Re: Having a lovely wee.
« Reply #6 on: July 09, 2019, 07:17:14 PM »
A massive wank.

seepage

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Re: Having a lovely wee.
« Reply #7 on: July 09, 2019, 07:17:51 PM »
Both are satisfying in their own ways. But when you’re really busting for a wee and you finally let it out and the overwhelming feeling of relief turns to hysteria and you start laughing.
Don’t get that with a poo.

as another CaB member said a while back, a good poo can cure a hangover, so that evens it out I think.

buttgammon

  • You can't trust a man what's made of gas
Re: Having a lovely wee.
« Reply #8 on: July 09, 2019, 07:29:40 PM »
Is there anything better than a big wee, and I mean that. I don't want to be crass or childish, but I really do enjoy having a lovely long wee out of my willy. Please tell me about your most memorable wee. Mine was in Brooklyn over a decade ago, having failed to find any sort of public bathroom and at absolute breaking point, unloading the longest wee I've ever done into a random alley, convinced I would be stabbed or shot any moment.

The exact same thing happened to me in Brooklyn (although it was less than two years ago and my biggest fear was being shot by the police as I pissed). This wasn't in Williamsburg by any chance, was it?

Shoulders?-Stomach!

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Re: Having a lovely wee.
« Reply #9 on: July 09, 2019, 08:02:12 PM »
Hi Neymar Jr here, it's killing and burning children, that's the best thing.

Al Tha Funkee Homosapien

  • Nothing is ever as good or bad as you think.
    • http://www.last.fm/user/georgethebadger/
Re: Having a lovely wee.
« Reply #10 on: July 09, 2019, 08:31:54 PM »



Big fan of a lovely wee.

Norton Canes

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Re: Having a lovely wee.
« Reply #11 on: July 09, 2019, 08:41:26 PM »
Had a wee for a whole minute once spose that was my best wee

Re: Having a lovely wee.
« Reply #12 on: July 09, 2019, 10:05:08 PM »
I like the wees were you let out loads of surprise spunk, from night time back spurts into your bladder. Is awkward though because you can't just leave that mess to be found by someone. Can't have em thinking you're some kind of depraved monster shooting your gubbins straight into the toilet bowl. But then they have a go at you for flushing after wees, wasting water and destroying the planet. You end up having an argument, them brow beating you, you complaining about them listening to you toilet, until finally you just give in and just scream you had to flush because it was a very sticky wee.

Shoulders?-Stomach!

  • Are we human? Or are we toilet
    • http://jackanderton.jamendo.net/
Re: Having a lovely wee.
« Reply #13 on: July 09, 2019, 10:09:14 PM »
Piss, shit, blood, vomit, scabs, sweat, sick and turds. And urine and pus and cum. Wax and bile. Fluid.


Voltan (Man of Steel)

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Re: Having a lovely wee.
« Reply #14 on: July 10, 2019, 12:34:24 PM »
All the flavours...

Beagle 2

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Re: Having a lovely wee.
« Reply #15 on: July 10, 2019, 01:32:11 PM »
Post Monty Python at the O2. Absolute Champions League level slash. There was a bloke dressed as the Spanish Inquisition next to me, which ironically I did fully expect.

Re: Having a lovely wee.
« Reply #16 on: July 10, 2019, 04:37:22 PM »
night time back spurts into your bladder.

there's your problem guv, it's the pipes. whole lot needs taking out and replacing. won't be cheap mind you.

Glebe

  • Swear fealty to your Goose King!
Re: Having a lovely wee.
« Reply #17 on: July 10, 2019, 05:39:17 PM »
[tag]Should have been a 'k' on the end there, anyway, 'twas a nice break.[/tag]

Re: Having a lovely wee.
« Reply #18 on: July 10, 2019, 06:28:28 PM »
there's your problem guv, it's the pipes. whole lot needs taking out and replacing. won't be cheap mind you.

It's a feature, not a flaw. Keeps me from glueing myself to my bed sheets with my very potent discharges.

Re: Having a lovely wee.
« Reply #19 on: July 12, 2019, 06:18:58 AM »
A lovely wee what?

:-)



We haven’t yet been able to pick up an official NHS piss bottle, due to all the work in getting me home and getting everything else sorted. And now can’t get one over the weekend because the holiday/silly season here. I can get out of bed, but am limiting my trips to about two a day, partly because the pain (and the blood rush) is too intense - although they increased and extended my morphine yesterday - and partly because I’m terrified that the Zimmer frame is gonna give way. It feels so damn fragile at times. I have a backpack, and I get as much done as I can in a short space of time: empty piss bottles, make tea in flask-cup, feed Jelly and grab him some ham for later, etc.

Anyway, so I gave up my Ingress and PoGo streaks too, because of risk and pain concerns, and spend most of my time in bed, feeling drowsy and exhausted. But I have Jelly lying beside me keeping me company almost all the time, and things are going well.

I could really do with some recommendations for bottles to piss in though :-) just until I get the proper NHS one. My mum suggested cutting the top off bottles, but that seems like a spilly recipe for disaster. It also means I’d be unable to put them in my backpack to empty them.

The widest necked bottles I’ve been able to think of thus far are Asda juice bottles, and they’re just nowhere near as wide necked as you’d think they were from memory. If you’re just pressing the tip up against the bottle, then you’re creating risk, and you’re inevitably going to get sprinkled. Really need something where the sausage can lay down freely.

Mobius

  • he who hingeth aboot getteth hee haw
Re: Having a lovely wee.
« Reply #20 on: July 12, 2019, 06:31:09 AM »
When I fell off me bike mum gave me a big vase to piss in. Have you got a big vase?

Re: Having a lovely wee.
« Reply #21 on: July 12, 2019, 06:42:53 AM »
I do not have a big vase. And again, gotta be able to get a lid on there to prevent spills and enable me to empty em by lugging them around in my backpack. Thanks anyway.

Re: Having a lovely wee.
« Reply #22 on: July 12, 2019, 07:19:55 AM »
Milk bottle no good as a receptacle?

Im currently trying to work out how useful an empty jam jar would be in an emergency.

Re: Having a lovely wee.
« Reply #23 on: July 12, 2019, 07:26:18 AM »
Both are satisfying in their own ways. But when you’re really busting for a wee and you finally let it out and the overwhelming feeling of relief turns to hysteria and you start laughing.
Don’t get that with a poo.

I had an extreme poo panic situation a couple of weeks ago that left me with hysteria and had a huge laugh afterwards. I even frightened some sheep in the process. More details on request.
Theres not been many instances of this so I do agree its rare.


Re: Having a lovely wee.
« Reply #24 on: July 12, 2019, 09:36:47 AM »
I had an extreme poo panic situation a couple of weeks ago that left me with hysteria and had a huge laugh afterwards. I even frightened some sheep in the process. More details on request.
Theres not been many instances of this so I do agree its rare.

Requesting details.

Re: Having a lovely wee.
« Reply #25 on: July 12, 2019, 09:38:09 AM »
The widest necked bottles I’ve been able to think of thus far are Asda juice bottles, and they’re just nowhere near as wide necked as you’d think they were from memory.

That's weird, I never have this problem... oh.

a duncandisorderly

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Re: Having a lovely wee.
« Reply #26 on: July 12, 2019, 10:24:26 AM »
with you on the big dump as a curer- I find it helps with any headache, not just the hangover sort.
but the first piss of the day, especially if your bladder hasn't woken you up in the night for a slash (& I'm still ok in that regard despite being of advanced years), that first unblocking of the jap's eye, it's like a wank sometimes, only without the effort.

"aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaagh! get out & fucking walk!" I will declare, noisily.

"what's going on in there?"
"nothing, nothing. just having a sir geoff."

(& then having to explain the made-up rhyming slang to the mrs, who's spanish & knows nothing about the england football team of 1966 being as she was -10 when that happened. 'burst'.)

imitationleather

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Re: Having a lovely wee.
« Reply #27 on: July 12, 2019, 10:27:17 AM »
I already suggested Lucozade bottles for piss. Big ol' wide neck on them. The large ones have a decent capacity n'all. Only problem is piss is vaguely Lucozade-coloured so it can be tricky to keep track of which you've filled yourself and which are still "factory fresh".

Whatever you choose it needs a lid.

Re: Having a lovely wee.
« Reply #28 on: July 12, 2019, 10:30:37 AM »


I think most supermarkets do passata in glass bottles, Lidl definitely do and at 720ml they should accommodate even the larger bladder.

a duncandisorderly

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Re: Having a lovely wee.
« Reply #29 on: July 12, 2019, 10:35:30 AM »


I think most supermarkets do passata in glass bottles, Lidl definitely do and at 720ml they should accommodate even the larger bladder.

leave a bit of the tomato in it, frighten the nurses.