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Having a lovely wee.

Started by madhair60, July 09, 2019, 03:31:08 PM

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Barry Admin

Excellent suggestions, thanks! Really pleased about that. Sorry, missed or forgot Lucozade suggestion, memory is even worse than normal at the minute, struggle to remember what I've had for lunch an hour previous etc. Anyway yeah that's genuinely incredibly helpful, thanks again lads!

madhair60

Thank YOU for validating the "having a lovely wee" thread. How are you set for shitting?

Barry Admin

All good thank you, occupational health sent me home with a raised toilet seat and the two handles on it are a godsend. Plenty of laxatives to counteract the morphine; after an entire week of not shitting at all, I finally broke the seal before I left hospital and am regular enough now that I can get it done with my morning excursion to get me and Jelly breakfast. Thankfully didn't have to use bed pan - very uncomfortable seemingly, plus uggghh - or commode. Shitting like a BOSS.

Brian Freeze

Quote from: madhair60 on July 12, 2019, 09:36:47 AM
Requesting details.
I wont dress it up and exaggerate but I was as close as is physically possible to having to let go and fill my pants on the motorway recently, without having to go through with it.

We'd just gone past the exit before ours when my stomach gurgled, in an ominous way.
The kids were asleep in the back, stopping on the hard shoulder and leave them in the car in the dark while I took care of business was not a good idea. Waking them up so Dad can have a poo was only slightly worse. The only option was to speed up, 80 should do it.

Fuck it was taking forever.
Another gurgle got the car up to ninety and I was in distress now. It was starting to hurt and going faster wasnt safe.

It really hurt now and I was panting and babbling thorugh my options with Mrs Freeze and forewarning her that I might have to do the unthinkable and relax. I wondered if it would be like the feeling of giving in to the struggles against drowning and just wonderfully blissfully calm and peaceful but smellier.

I was going to have to let go and put up with the trip over Saddleworth Moor being one of the more memorable times we've gone that way.

ITS THE JUNCTION!!!!1

I CAN MAKE IT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

bloody hell it was close. Dived out the car and down the banking for a little privacy, kicking truckers half empty lucazade bottles out the way I found peace at last and howled at the moon in relief.
Thats when the sheep ran off.

poodlefaker

Fractured my spine once and the morphine made the old prostate clamp shut. Couldn't piss for a day, bladder like  a basketball. Never liked the idea of having anything poked up the old chap, but christ was I glad to see that catheter. Filled it up like a bag of cider.