Author Topic: Wasting police time  (Read 687 times)

Pingers

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Wasting police time
« on: July 09, 2019, 09:54:06 PM »
The police, yeah? Their job, right. Their job is to arrest people. Sometimes for being black, but sometimes for other things as well. So if they arrest you for wasting their time then that's a good use of their time, not a waste, so they've gone and shot themselves in the foot there. And possibly you also, while no-one was looking.

So if any of you have been arrested for wasting police time, I will take your case on and win, not on a point of law, but on a point of logic. No win, no fee.

Dex Sawash

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Re: Wasting police time
« Reply #1 on: July 09, 2019, 10:34:51 PM »
Best thing on cab right now

Pingers

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Re: Wasting police time
« Reply #2 on: July 09, 2019, 10:55:03 PM »
Sorry, I'm off my guts on Solpadein Max

Re: Wasting police time
« Reply #3 on: July 09, 2019, 11:01:02 PM »
Quote
So if any of you have been arrested for wasting police time, I will take your case on and win, not on a point of law, but on a point of logic. No win, no fee.

You sound like just the person I need to defend me after I was arrested for resisting arrest.

Re: Wasting police time
« Reply #4 on: July 09, 2019, 11:04:44 PM »
I have stolen the premise of this thread and will be working it into a webcomic.

alan nagsworth

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Re: Wasting police time
« Reply #5 on: July 09, 2019, 11:37:17 PM »
I once got arrested for MAKING police time.

Basically I created a TV show called Police Time but it turns out my entire show, including every single plot, scene, character and line of dialogue, was exactly replicating another show called The Bill. How the fuck was I supposed to know I'd done that? Anyway that's the exact question I asked the judge and in the end he admitted I'd done it all by mistake and they let me off.

Maurice Yeatman

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Re: Wasting police time
« Reply #6 on: July 09, 2019, 11:40:45 PM »
Trudie Styler's Guide to Tantric Yoga.

FerriswheelBueller

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Re: Wasting police time
« Reply #7 on: July 09, 2019, 11:55:35 PM »
The police, yeah? Their job, right. Their job is to arrest people. Sometimes for being black, but sometimes for other things as well. So if they arrest you for wasting their time then that's a good use of their time, not a waste, so they've gone and shot themselves in the foot there. And possibly you also, while no-one was looking.

So if any of you have been arrested for wasting police time, I will take your case on and win, not on a point of law, but on a point of logic. No win, no fee.

What if you intended to waste their time a lot in the future, and dipped your toe in the water with a little bit of wasting their time, right, to start you on your life of crime, but then the old bill come round your house and give you a clip round the ear and says “don’t do that anymore”, so you pack it in and it ends your future police time-wasting plans so instead of you wasting 20 hours of the rozzer’s time down the road like you were planning, 30 minutes of getting a clip around the ear has been time well-spent by Plod.

BlodwynPig

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Re: Wasting police time
« Reply #8 on: July 10, 2019, 08:37:52 AM »
Trudie Styler's Guide to Tantric Yoga.

Ugh, please stop reminding me of this beige 90s Q magazine style gloss goss

batwings

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Re: Wasting police time
« Reply #9 on: July 10, 2019, 08:47:01 AM »
Once told the Police that Richard Burton and Roger Moore had stolen my car and were racing down the M5 in it so they better get after them.

thenoise

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Re: Wasting police time
« Reply #10 on: July 10, 2019, 09:00:28 AM »
One time the police wasted my time, and I attempted a citizen's arrest. Didn't turn out too great to be honest.

Re: Wasting police time
« Reply #11 on: July 10, 2019, 09:02:53 AM »
What if you intended to waste their time a lot in the future, and dipped your toe in the water with a little bit of wasting their time, right, to start you on your life of crime, but then the old bill come round your house and give you a clip round the ear and says “don’t do that anymore”, so you pack it in and it ends your future police time-wasting plans so instead of you wasting 20 hours of the rozzer’s time down the road like you were planning, 30 minutes of getting a clip around the ear has been time well-spent by Plod.

But that potential future time wouldn't be wasted, because they'd still be doing their job then, i.e. arresting people.

FOILED by LOGIC.

Re: Wasting police time
« Reply #12 on: July 10, 2019, 09:05:43 AM »
We could save the police time and throw ourselves down the stairs to begin with.

koeman

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Re: Wasting police time
« Reply #13 on: July 10, 2019, 09:39:46 AM »
Trudie Styler's Guide to Tantric Yoga.

Are you suggesting that Sting's desperate to shoot his bolt, but his missus has forced him into these performance-lengthening exercises against his horny will? I've never considered it from that angle before.

(nice gag, by the way)

Maurice Yeatman

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Re: Wasting police time
« Reply #14 on: July 10, 2019, 10:33:10 AM »
Are you suggesting that Sting's desperate to shoot his bolt, but his missus has forced him into these performance-lengthening exercises against his horny will? I've never considered it from that angle before.

He never did tantric with Frances Tomelty and they were together for 10 years. Into the CaB Book of Facts it goes.

imitationleather

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Re: Wasting police time
« Reply #15 on: July 10, 2019, 10:42:14 AM »
I was fitted up for killing Lesley Molseed back in the '70s. Got out eventually because they proved someone else did it but then I only went and dropped dead from a heart attack within eighteen months. The whole thing was a bit of a drag, to be honest.

From beyond the grave I advise you waste the police's time whenever you can.

FerriswheelBueller

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Re: Wasting police time
« Reply #16 on: July 10, 2019, 12:01:52 PM »
But that potential future time wouldn't be wasted, because they'd still be doing their job then, i.e. arresting people.

FOILED by LOGIC.

Got me there. If you need a para-legal on these cases of LOGIC and REASON then send me a PM (plus cheque for several thousand pounds and travel expenses).

Re: Wasting police time
« Reply #17 on: July 10, 2019, 04:39:21 PM »
I once got arrested for MAKING police time.

Basically I created a TV show called Police Time but it turns out my entire show, including every single plot, scene, character and line of dialogue, was exactly replicating another show called The Bill. How the fuck was I supposed to know I'd done that? Anyway that's the exact question I asked the judge and in the end he admitted I'd done it all by mistake and they let me off.

I got arrested for wasting police Thyme!

I had a brief stint as chef in the police hq canteen and they started me off on SpagBols...needless to say Im a clumsy little fucker and my elbow knocked into the spice and herbs rack and...well you can guess what happened next

Re: Wasting police time
« Reply #18 on: July 10, 2019, 04:52:01 PM »
The same happened to me but they let me off when I gave them some cash as a doken gesture.