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Stupid fucking lyrics by idiots

Started by alan nagsworth, July 12, 2019, 12:20:07 PM

Previous topic - Next topic

Cuellar

Quote from: popcorn on July 20, 2019, 01:06:14 PM
50 Words for Snow by Kate Bush

Erase-o-dust?! Melt-o-blast?! Bad for trains?!

One of poo's clowne threads

'phlegm-de-neige' I ask you

kalowski

Reminds me of Trous-o-bleep from an old Private Eye advert ("Never lose your trousers again!")

[Or Snook-o-float ("Play snooker in the bath!")]

Catalogue Trousers

QuoteI know a girl called Elsa
She's into Alka Seltzer
She sniffs it through a cane on a supersonic train

get tae fuck

She's so Lovely- Scouting for Girls

QuoteI love the way she fills her clothes
She looks just like them girls in Vogue
I love the way she plays it cool
I think that she is beautiful
She's so lovely
She's so lovely
She's so lovely
She's so lovely
She's so lovely
She's so lovely
She's so lovely
She's pretty, a fitty
She's got a boyfriend though and that's a pity
She's flirty, turned thirty
And that's the age a girl gets really dirty
I don't know
I don't know
I don't know
How we'll make it through this
I don't know
I don't know
I don't know
I love the way she bites her lip
I love the way she shakes them hips
I love the way she makes me drool
I think that she is beautiful
She's so lovely
She's so lovely
She's so lovely
She's so lovely
She's so lovely
She's so lovely
She's so lovely
A stunner, I want her
Was she...

"She looks just like them girls in Vogue"

And you write lyrics just like them kids in school you fucking plum.

checkoutgirl

Quote from: non capisco on July 13, 2019, 06:35:42 PM
I like her retrospective advice to John Lennon about avoiding getting murdered. "He should have stayed at home". Well, hindsight is 20/20 and all that. I bet he's kicking himself now.

Ha! The Canberries had some awful lyrics sure. And terrible music and singing to go with it.

checkoutgirl

The Killers write the most consistently bad lyrics for me.

Somedody told me
You have a boyfriend
Looks like your girlfriend

I've got soul but
I'm not a soldier

Are we human or
Are we dancer


Terrible. I think the boyfriend one is the worst lyric I've ever heard. How someone could actually sing that is beyond belief. Like it should be rejected as soon as it's suggested. Not even getting to a second draft. Second draft? Ha! None of The Killers lyrics could ever have been honed, crafted and edited. They apparently just vomit the first thing that comes into their head and whack a half-arsed tune around it.

McChesney Duntz

Oh yeah, that Killers song (ironically, mayhap) makes me want to kill. As does "Pure Morning" by Placebo - maybe not the worst set of lyrics ever, but boy howdy, do they irritate me:

A friend in need's a friend indeed,
A friend with weed is better,
A friend with breast and all the rest,
A friend who's dressed in leather,
A friend in need's a friend indeed,
A friend who'll tease is better,
Our thoughts compressed,
Which makes us blessed,
And makes for stormy weather,
A friend in need's a friend indeed,
My Japanese is better,
And when she's pressed she will undress,
And then she's boxing clever,
A friend in need's a friend indeed,
A friend who bleeds is better,
My friend confessed she passed the test,
And we will never sever,
Day's dawning, skins crawling
Day's dawning, skins crawling
Day's dawning, skins crawling
Pure morning
Pure morning
Pure morning
A friend in need's a friend indeed,
A friend who'll tease is better,
Our thoughts compressed,
Which makes us blessed,
And makes for stormy weather,
A friend in need's a friend indeed,
A friend who bleeds is better,
My friend confessed she passed the test,
And we will never sever,
Day's dawning, skins crawling
Day's dawning, skins crawling
Day's dawning, skins crawling
Pure morning
Pure morning
Pure morning
A friend in need's a friend indeed,
My Japanese is better,
And when she's pressed she will undress,
And then she's boxing clever,
A friend in need's a friend indeed,
A friend with weed is better,
A friend with breast and all the rest,
A friend who's dressed in leather.

Golden E. Pump

Has anybody mentioned that one bit in every Kaiser Chiefs song yet?

"[Insert Title of Song]
Woooooooaaaaaah".


Twed

Quote from: McChesney Duntz on July 21, 2019, 04:23:30 PM
Oh yeah, that Killers song (ironically, mayhap) makes me want to kill. As does "Pure Morning" by Placebo - maybe not the worst set of lyrics ever, but boy howdy, do they irritate me:
It's the wet kid from school expressing himself after becoming an adult and smoking a weed joint and being allowed to have one casual sex. In their world they are a bohemian god, free from the shackles of their gawky youth, but to everybody else he's still that same soggy kid saying the dullest of things.

mrpupkin

Quote from: Nice Relaxing Poo on July 21, 2019, 08:14:43 AM
She's so Lovely- Scouting for Girls

"She looks just like them girls in Vogue"

And you write lyrics just like them kids in school you fucking plum.

Not only bad but bizarre, when you consider this line flung into the middle of the song and repeated over and over:

"I don't know how we'll make it through this"

Who is "we" in this context, all of a sudden? It was all "she" a minute ago, she's lovely and beautiful etc, fair enough, now you don't know how "we" are going to "make it through this"? Make it through you telling me that you fancy someone? I think we'll be alright mate, honestly you crack on I don't have an issue with it. Happy for you if anything. The only sense I can make of it is if the whole song is sung to his partner about another woman who he has a crush on, and he doesn't know if the relationship can weather it. Is that it?

bgmnts

Quote from: mrpupkin on July 22, 2019, 11:28:44 AM
Not only bad but bizarre, when you consider this line flung into the middle of the song and repeated over and over:

"I don't know how we'll make it through this"

Who is "we" in this context, all of a sudden? It was all "she" a minute ago, she's lovely and beautiful etc, fair enough, now you don't know how "we" are going to "make it through this"? Make it through you telling me that you fancy someone? I think we'll be alright mate, honestly you crack on I don't have an issue with it. Happy for you if anything. The only sense I can make of it is if the whole song is sung to his partner about another woman who he has a crush on, and he doesn't know if the relationship can weather it. Is that it?

'We' refers to him and his longing cock.

Ferris

Quote from: Nice Relaxing Poo on July 21, 2019, 08:14:43 AM
She's so Lovely- Scouting for Girls

"She looks just like them girls in Vogue"

And you write lyrics just like them kids in school you fucking plum.

That is fucking diabolical. You'd be #canceled for those lyrics nowadays.

a duncandisorderly

Quote from: non capisco on July 13, 2019, 06:35:42 PM
I like her retrospective advice to John Lennon about avoiding getting murdered. "He should have stayed at home". Well, hindsight is 20/20 and all that. I bet he's kicking himself now.

to be fair, he was at his fucking front door when it happened. seems a bit harsh, that, dolores. maybe you should've stuck to showering & then you wouldn't be dead either.

jobotic

I thought Primal Scream should get a look in then I realised I didn't really know any. I didn't have to look far.

The Lord is my Shotgun (please)

Cancer mind
Grave yard dirt
Name on your tombstone
Knife in your skirt
Head on collision
Motorcycle crash
Ain't goin' to prison
Bury you alive
Bury you alive
Bury you alive
Bury you alive
Bury you alive
Bad seed baby
Gimme your disease
Death's head angel
Lay your curse on me
Lord is my shotgun
Your Satan's jewel
Plough your death valley
Sow my seed in you
Bury you alive
Bury you alive
Bury you alive
Bury you alive
Bad seed baby
Gimme your disease
Death's head angel
Lay your curse on me
Lord is my shotgun
Your Satan's crown jewel
Plough your death valley
Sow my seed in you
Bury you alive
Bury you alive
Bury you alive
Bury you alive
Sometimes I think you're
Too sweet to die
Other times I think you should be
Buried alive


Who Do You Love? is cool. This is embarrassing.

Even worse...Jailbird

Scratching like a tomcat
Got a monkey on my back
I'm gonna push and pull and howl like a wolf
And drive my Cadillac
I've got medication, honey
I've got wings to fly
I've got horse hoof tea to buzz you like a bee
Gonna blind the evil eye
Push and pull with me
Funky jammin' free
Walk it like you talk it, honey
Strut your funky stuff, come on
I'm yours, you're mine
Gimme more of that jailbird pie
I'm yours, you're mine
Gimme more of that jailbird pie
I'm yours, you're mine
Gimme more of that jailbird pie
I'm yours, you're mine, yeah, yeah, yeah
Come on in my kitchen
I've got hop head soup for grease
Just shake your hips, let it rip
And let the spirit free
Ride on baby, ride on
Let your crazy horses loose
Give it all you got when you're hot to trot
And wave bye bye to the blues
Shake it to the east
Shake it to the west
Shake it with the very one
That you love the best, come on
I'm yours, you're mine
Gimme more of that jailbird pie
I'm yours, you're mine
Gimme more of that jailbird pie
I'm yours, you're mine
Gimme more of that jailbird pie
I'm yours, you're mine, yeah, yeah, yeah, alright




Fuck me Bobby G. You tit.

Jerzy Bondov

Not in the mood for looking at the lyrics to the worst song ever ('once I was seven years old' or whatever the fuck it is). Too hard to get a GP appointment so I can go back on the pills. Instead here's some fucking shiter that was on the radio a lot a while back, making me cross:
QuoteWell you only need the light when it's burning low
Only miss the sun when it starts to snow
Only know you love her when you let her go
Only know you've been high when you're feeling low
Only hate the road when you're missing home
Only know you love her when you let her go
And you let her go...
utterly pathetic lyrics.

Lordofthefiles


Win Or Lose, Sink Or Swim
One Thing Is Certain We'll Never Give In
Side By Side, Hand In Hand
We All Stand Together

Play The Game, Fight The Fight
But What's The Point On A Beautiful Night?
Arm In Arm, Hand In Hand
We All Stand Together

Keeping Us Warm In The Night
La La La La
Walk In The Night
You'll Get It Right

Win Or Lose, Sink Or Swim
One Thing Is Certain We'll Never Give In
Side By Side, Hand In Hand
We All Stand Together

Ferris

Remembered this gem from the uber ride yesterday

QuoteOoh (ooh) baby,
I be stuck to you,
Like glue (glue) baby,
Wanna spend it all on you (you),

Baby,
My room is the g spot,

Call me Mr. Flintstone,
I can make your bed rock
, ooh

I-I-I I can make your bed rock, ooh
I-I-I I can make your bed rock girl, ooh
I-I-I I can make your bed rock, ooh
I-I-I I can make your bed rock.

Will everyone think Im a cunt for speaking ill of the dead?

I just think the Cranberries lyrics were abysmal. This song I Just Shot John Lennon reminds me of something I wouldve written as a precious 11 year old who thought he was more intellectual than he actually was

It was the fearful night of December 8th
He was returning home from the studio late
He had perceptively known that it wouldn't be nice
Because in nineteen eighty, he paid the price

John Lennon died, John Lennon died, John Lennon died
John Lennon died, John Lennon died, John Lennon died

With a Smith and Wesson .38
John Lennon's life was no longer a debate
He should have stayed at home
He should have never cared
And the man who took his life declared, he said

"I just shot John Lennon!"
He said "I just shot John Lennon!"
What a sad and sorry and sickening sight
It was a sad and sorry and sickening night

Oh a sad and sorry and sickening sight
It was a sad and sorry and sickening night

Ah ah ah
Ah ah ah ah ah ah
Ah ah ah ah ah ah
Ah ah ah ah ah ah

"I just shot John Lennon!"
He said, "I just shot John Lennon!"
What a sad and sorry and sickening sight
It was a sad and sorry and sickening night

Oh a sad and sorry and sickening sight
It was a sad and sorry and sickening night

Ah ah ah
Ah ah ah ah ah ah
Ah ah ah ah ah ah
Ah ah ah ah ah ah


The Culture Bunker

Quote from: jobotic on July 24, 2019, 12:26:16 AM
I thought Primal Scream should get a look in then I realised I didn't really know any. I didn't have to look far.

Even worse...Jailbird
Ah, from the era when wee Boabby really felt he could be a Mick Jagger for the 1990s. I often wonder why Tom Dowd agreed to do that album, unless he was a bit skint.

grassbath

Quote from: Lordofthefiles on July 24, 2019, 12:21:41 PM
Win Or Lose, Sink Or Swim
One Thing Is Certain We'll Never Give In
Side By Side, Hand In Hand
We All Stand Together

Play The Game, Fight The Fight
But What's The Point On A Beautiful Night?
Arm In Arm, Hand In Hand
We All Stand Together

Keeping Us Warm In The Night
La La La La
Walk In The Night
You'll Get It Right

Win Or Lose, Sink Or Swim
One Thing Is Certain We'll Never Give In
Side By Side, Hand In Hand
We All Stand Together

Sorry to be the tedious Macca defender... but are these really that bad? A children's song, with a simple concept, elegantly articulated. The only bit that smacks of lazy or nonsensical writing is the middle eight. I could point you to much worse lyrics of his (there are plenty).

Lordofthefiles

Quote from: grassbath on July 24, 2019, 05:16:42 PM
Sorry to be the tedious Macca defender... but are these really that bad? A children's song, with a simple concept, elegantly articulated. The only bit that smacks of lazy or nonsensical writing is the middle eight. I could point you to much worse lyrics of his (there are plenty).

I could forgive it if it WAS a children's song, however, he was 41 when he wrote it.

grassbath


Twed


buzby

Quote from: checkoutgirl on July 21, 2019, 08:53:29 AM
Are we human or
Are we dancer
To be fair to Flowers (which I'm not often wont to do), in that couplet he's referencing a quote from Hunter S. Thompson -  "America is raising a generation of dancers, afraid to take one step out of line."

kalowski

Quote from: buzby on July 25, 2019, 08:25:46 AM
To be fair to Flowers (which I'm not often wont to do), in that couplet he's referencing a quote from Hunter S. Thompson -  "America is raising a generation of dancers, afraid to take one step out of line."
It's the messed up plural that annoys me.
Like in Peep Show:
"You do the math!"
"...s"

a duncandisorderly

Quote from: Misspent Boners on July 24, 2019, 03:25:36 PM
Will everyone think Im a cunt for speaking ill of the dead?

I just think the Cranberries lyrics were abysmal. This song I Just Shot John Lennon reminds me of something I wouldve written as a precious 11 year old who thought he was more intellectual than he actually was

It was the fearful night of December 8th
He was returning home from the studio late.....
Ah ah ah ah ah ah
Ah ah ah ah ah ah
Ah ah ah ah ah ah

Quote from: non capisco on July 13, 2019, 06:35:42 PM
I like her retrospective advice to John Lennon about avoiding getting murdered. "He should have stayed at home". Well, hindsight is 20/20 and all that. I bet he's kicking himself now.

Quote from: a duncandisorderly on July 24, 2019, 12:05:51 AM
to be fair, he was at his fucking front door when it happened. seems a bit harsh, that, dolores. maybe you should've stuck to showering & then you wouldn't be dead either.

so, yes. we've done that.

idunnosomename

Quote from: JesusAndYourBush on July 13, 2019, 12:23:47 PM
Probably a "clever" metaphor for a car.
'I'm a cowboy. I ride in a car. I'm wanted, dead or in a jar.'


For YEARS (well into the internet era) I assumed their name was Children Of Sodom ... because I only ever saw the name written in that fancy font on the album covers ... and death metal bands have names like that.  It seemed more plausible than some word I'd never heard of.  Once I learned what Bodom was their name becomes mundane, and not a name befitting a death metal band.
I think it's a motorbike, mate. It's not very rock and roll to drive around in a car.

Also CoB are named after the Lake Bodom murders so I guess that's pretty death metal? Anyway their lyrics are unusually tongue-in-cheek for melodeath so I think making fun of them for being fucking stupid kind of misses the point

a duncandisorderly

Quote from: idunnosomename on July 27, 2019, 10:27:42 AM
I think it's a motorbike, mate. It's not very rock and roll to drive around in a car.

Also CoB are named after the Lake Bodom murders so I guess that's pretty death metal? Anyway their lyrics are unusually tongue-in-cheek for melodeath so I think making fun of them for being fucking stupid kind of misses the point

bo-dum, bo-du-uh-um..... b'dum b'dum....


JesusAndYourBush

Quote from: idunnosomename on July 27, 2019, 10:27:42 AMAlso CoB are named after the Lake Bodom murders so I guess that's pretty death metal? Anyway their lyrics are unusually tongue-in-cheek for melodeath so I think making fun of them for being fucking stupid kind of misses the point

Ah, that makes more sense.  I assumed it was just the area where they were from and wasn't aware of the murders.

Lordofthefiles

Quote from: idunnosomename on July 27, 2019, 10:27:42 AM
Also CoB are named after the Lake Bodom murders so I guess that's pretty death metal? Anyway their lyrics are unusually tongue-in-cheek for melodeath so I think making fun of them for being fucking stupid kind of misses the point

I'd never heard of those murders before. Very interesting.


Also, one of the prime suspects has possibly the most fantastic name ever:

https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hans_Assmann