Author Topic: RIP Generous Seagull!  (Read 1010 times)

Glebe

  • Yes, Mr. Keith Maniac from Guatemala!
RIP Generous Seagull!
« on: July 12, 2019, 06:24:23 PM »


Reports have been coming in today about the passing of Generous Seagull at the age of sixty. According to The Hollywood Reporter, the popular philanthropical bird was found zonked out near Brighton Pier in the early hours of the morning. The coroner's official verdict has apparently not been released as yet, but speculation is rife after an unnamed source suggested that he may have suffered a cardiac arrest due to "overwork". His publicist Arnie Sanddunes has released this statement on behalf of his family:

"It is with great regret that we bid farewell to a loving ex-husband, father and seagull. Generous was a firm favourite along Britain's costal regions, offering a helping wing where needed. He will forever be remembered by ex-wife Sadie, daughter Sandy and son Simon, and by all whom he assisted with gifts cadged from thereabouts and hereabouts. Always in our hearts... fair flight, dear bird."

Generous had only recently released his autobiography, and had been in the news again thanks to a slight faux pas. It wasn't his first brush with controversy, however. In 2017 he gave an interview with the Reader's Digest in which he appeared to imply that special checkpoints should be set up to stop illegal seabirds along America's Mexican border, a comment which was to prove the catalyst for the whole #notmyseagull movement.

On a lighter note, he had many fans, who have come out in force to pay tribute on social media:







So farewell then, sweet seagull.

Captain Z

  • Oh yeah my cholesterol's going down
Re: RIP Generous Seagull!
« Reply #1 on: July 12, 2019, 06:38:11 PM »
Met Generous Seagull at a charity do once. He was surprisingly down to earth, and VERY generous.

Re: RIP Generous Seagull!
« Reply #2 on: July 12, 2019, 09:20:32 PM »
Devo'd, mate. Devo'd. :(

FerriswheelBueller

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Re: RIP Generous Seagull!
« Reply #3 on: July 13, 2019, 12:22:25 AM »
Ironically, the most generous thing he could do would be to outlive us all and bestow us with gifts for the duration.

Gone but not forgotten.

wosl

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Re: RIP Generous Seagull!
« Reply #4 on: July 13, 2019, 05:49:15 PM »



wosl

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Re: RIP Generous Seagull!
« Reply #5 on: July 13, 2019, 05:50:12 PM »

Spoon of Ploff

  • visitors are welcome to Sheerness
Re: RIP Generous Seagull!
« Reply #6 on: July 13, 2019, 05:51:24 PM »
Good. He was a wrong'n from the off. Glad he's gone.

Phoenix Lazarus

  • Why bother writing stuff below your avatar?
Re: RIP Generous Seagull!
« Reply #7 on: July 13, 2019, 06:32:52 PM »
I heard his public good deeds masked private depravity and atrocities.  He had a second nickname-Savile Seagull.

PlanktonSideburns

  • time takes its toll, but not on the eyes
Re: RIP Generous Seagull!
« Reply #8 on: July 13, 2019, 07:47:40 PM »
Before Limmy's Show got commissioned, I was doing stand up at the Fringe, in an effort to impress any commissioners that happened to come to my show. But I was getting nowhere. Commissioners would come, but wouldn't follow it up. Until one particular night.

I did a brief three minute spot at an event intended to showcase multiple acts. I was one of about ten that night. And I could see a few commissioners in the audience. It felt like a cattle market. Lot of pressure.

I did my routine. I got laughs, but so did everybody. I went to the toilet afterwards, and a guy came in after me, an older guy, an American, a bit loud. He asked me how long I'd been performing and I said it was my first time. He said I was a natural (I'm not bragging).

He asked me where I trained, and I said I didn't. Then he asked about my background, and I said I was from a council estate. When I explained what that was, he shook my hand, no joke. And he walked out. When I eventually left the toilet, I saw this guy with the commissioners.

He had three or four commissioners listening to him, hanging on every word, as he pointed in their faces. I didn't know who he was, but he was obviously a somebody. When he saw me, he called me over. As I walked over, he walked away from the commissioners and towards me.

He whispered to me "They're all yours", then he walked away. When I spoke to the commissioners, they were suddenly respectful and attentive in a way they hadn't been with me before, obviously because of whatever this guy had said.

They asked all about me, and followed up the communications with emails and phone calls. There was a bidding war, and I decided to make Limmy's Show with BBC Scotland.

I never found out who that man was until today. I recognised his face from something I read on Twitter. And I finally found out his name. His name was Generous Seagull.



Glebe

  • Yes, Mr. Keith Maniac from Guatemala!
Re: RIP Generous Seagull!
« Reply #9 on: July 14, 2019, 07:00:02 PM »
More celeb reactions:




















FerriswheelBueller

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Re: RIP Generous Seagull!
« Reply #10 on: July 14, 2019, 07:31:51 PM »
Moving tributes.

When will Boris (Varadkar?) and Co pull the finger out and announce the state funeral?

Glebe

  • Yes, Mr. Keith Maniac from Guatemala!
Re: RIP Generous Seagull!
« Reply #11 on: July 16, 2019, 04:30:52 PM »
Moving tributes.

When will Boris (Varadkar?) and Co pull the finger out and announce the state funeral?

Generous hadn't an Irish bone in his seabird's body, but Varadkar has publicly commented that he was "a kind of dove of peace during the Troubles... 'wings' across the ocean and all that."

Meanwhile, possibly-PM Johnson had only just called GS "the bird of a Nation" when the Government leaks incident occurred. According to the Associated Press:

AP

14 Jul 2019

FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE

LONDON - There was uproar in Westminster today when it was revealed that special files are to be made public following the passing of renowned seabird 'Generous' Seagull. The once-secret documents apparently describe the bird as a former MI5 'messenger pigeon', and suggest he was once deeply embedded in Russia. It's a further embarrassment for the UK government following the recent leaks.

John le Carré, author of such classic spy novels as Tinker, Tailor, Soldier, Seagull has weighed in, calling the revelations "an absolute fudge". When asked to describe what might happen following the leak, he said this;

"It's hard to say what might happen, but there's every chance this could go haywire, possibly even leading to a military coup in Britain or something! It could lead to a coup d'état in Paris, and it is likely that many Russian double-sleeper agents will come in from the cold. Files may be burnt dramatically in a big pile, and the Russian Ambassador might lock himself in his office and shoot himself with a small pistol he keeps in a hidden drawer in his desk. Also, modern computer files could be 'wiped', as they say. This could all happen in a big, fancy montage. Stay posted."


chveik

  • And even the vegetables screamed.
Re: RIP Generous Seagull!
« Reply #12 on: July 16, 2019, 05:23:15 PM »
what a glorious thread

(very sad news obviously. there should be a Generous Seagull Day.)

Glebe

  • Yes, Mr. Keith Maniac from Guatemala!
Re: RIP Generous Seagull!
« Reply #13 on: July 16, 2019, 08:43:30 PM »
there should be a Generous Seagull Day.

That could be incorporated into a CaB meet-up, surely?

Glebe

  • Yes, Mr. Keith Maniac from Guatemala!
Re: RIP Generous Seagull!
« Reply #14 on: July 17, 2019, 03:47:37 PM »
More reactions:









Phoenix Lazarus

  • Why bother writing stuff below your avatar?
Re: RIP Generous Seagull!
« Reply #15 on: August 18, 2019, 12:26:27 PM »

Glebe

  • Yes, Mr. Keith Maniac from Guatemala!
Re: RIP Generous Seagull!
« Reply #16 on: August 18, 2019, 01:46:07 PM »
Aw that's awful.

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