BBC documentary Inside the Secret World of Incels

[Fambo Number Mive]

https://www.bbc.co.uk/iplayer/episode/p07fvhmw/inside-the-secret-world-of-incels

(trigger warning: terrorism, swearing, sexism and hate)

These incel people come across as vile (such as the bloke who uses a male model picture for his profile and then screams abuse at women who turn up and unsurprisingly don't want to stay there when they realise the person looks completly different in real life to their profile picture), dangerous and pathetic.

So some men haven't had a girlfriend or any sexual content. Boo hoo. I've never had a girlfriend or intercourse, and I don't hate women. There are nice women and not so nice women and nice men and not so nice men. The idea of hating an entire gender because of a lack of romance just seems bizarre and vile to me. Are these people any different from people who decide to be racist because of something they read in a tabloid.

Do these incels never encounter women as coworkers or fellow hobbyists? Did none of them ever have female friends or relations?

They seem to feel entitled to a romantic relationship or sex and angry with women as a whole for this not happening, rather than considering that relationships aren't a right and neither is sex. Getting involved in the incel movement seems to be damaging their mental health and reinforces their delusions.

[bgmnts]

I suppose I technically am an incel, but these people are a bit mental. I suppose they can't really be 100% to blame though,
they're a warped product of a messed up society.

Although I am intrigued Fambo, have you never had a girlfriend or intercourse out of choice or just no opportunity? Apologies if i'm being a bit of a nosey cunt, I just think there is a big difference.

[Pearly-Dewdrops Drops]

[tag] Louis Theroux introduces himself to CaB [/tag]

[sevendaughters]

will watch all of this with an open mind later - I watched 10 mins but was on a cricket comedown. what I will say is that the documentary felt very sensational. there are a lot of sexless men in the world - and sure there is a lot of misogyny and sexual assault etc but a lot of people who do that will actually be 'successful' with women - and most of them just seethe online. i felt like it was a bit like starting a documentary about islam (i know it's not the same) with a montage of murderers. this is hardly 'the secret world of incels' - this is some high profile covered in other media incel bullshit. no amount of haunted drone footage can cover the shoddy anthology work.

[Fambo Number Mive]

I suppose I technically am an incel, but these people are a bit mental. I suppose they can't really be 100% to blame though,
they're a warped product of a messed up society.

Although I am intrigued Fambo, have you never had a girlfriend or intercourse out of choice or just no opportunity? Apologies if i'm being a bit of a nosey cunt, I just think there is a big difference.

No problem, it's mainly no opportunity. I say mainly as I don't really use dating sites or tinder so I suppose it could be argued that there is an element of choice in that I don't really put the effort in.

[imitationleather]

I think we should round up all the men not having sex and put them in special camps. And kill them.

But srsly though these guys are tough to watch because the despair radiates off the screen. If it wasn't feeling like they were failing in the romance stakes it'd be something else. Their lives are shit and they've focused on this one thing. I find the incel movement an interesting thing to read up on but actual interviews with them? Nah. They have zero self-reflective insight into why they are they way they are and so you just end up hating these guys rather than considering why this sort of thing is happening.

[Twed]

It's objective truth that all men can date despite their appearance. The secret is not being an absolute stinkard.

[Rev+]

They have zero self-reflective insight into why they are they way they are and so you just end up hating these guys rather than considering why this sort of thing is happening.

This is the thing, they think they're not getting any because of some objective criteria that they don't meet.  Rubbish rasmus or what have you.  Everything has to be codified, there has to be a reason for this, but they don't for a second consider that their own behaviour might be a factor, when it's the most important factor.  They're no different to the people blaming the foreigns for taking all the jobs when they show up to interviews with tomato sauce down the front of their trackie top and honking like they've not had a shower this year.

Yeah, you can't help but hate them, because they're capable of changing but it's the world that's wrong.

[bgmnts]

I dont think we should plonk in all the people who are unsuccessful with women into the same category.

[imitationleather]

I dont think we should plonk in all the people who are unsuccessful with women into the same category.

I got to admit I kept zoning in and out of the documentary but why was the long-haired fellah with distinctive dress sense who does karaoke and stuff in it? He didn't seem like an incel as I know them. Just a single guy with a bit of social anxiety, maybe? If we're lumping them in with the incels then nearly every man at some point in their life is one.

[bgmnts]

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fbll8S1O4vY

[imitationleather]

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fbll8S1O4vY

Oh yeah I forgot him. Shows how much attention I was paying. Anyway he came across as alright too. I've not watched his video as it is 20+ minutes but I imagine he cannot be happy to have had his interview about his anxiety and isolation due to his acne bundled in with a doc about how single young men now idolise Elliot Roger.

It was only really the guy doing the catfishing that seemed to fit into what the documentary was actually about. That dude was so bizarre and pathetic that I really wanted to know more about why the hell he was like that. How do you end up doing that sort of thing for fun? Extreme bullying or what?

[mothman]

Sometimes I think, Christ, somehow even I managed to meet somebody and fall in love and settle down and have kids, how hard can it be? But then I remember that I have no idea how I managed it (or I read one of bgmnts's posts) and accept that I'm probably just very lucky.

[Pearly-Dewdrops Drops]

It's objective truth that all men can date despite their appearance. The secret is not being an absolute stinkard.

Being an absolute (misogynistic) stinkard is in no way an impediment to dating.

Haven't watched the BBC doc but many of these guys seem to have severe anxiety/self-esteem issues tending toward outright dysmorphia. Case in point that guy bgmnts posted, who seems objectively quite attractive but complains that he is undateable because of his nose and the fact that he is only 5'11" rather than 6'0" https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Y7oxU3hnh4s

[bgmnts]

The problem is, if women feel ugly and that no men will love them, it's a problem with society creating an idealised image of what a woman should look like and not living up to that, causing body dysphoria and all that.

Men feel ugly and that no women will love them, they are delusional whiney manchildren.

No wonder they/we go mental. Their hate is just obviously misdirected.

[Twed]

The problem is, if women feel ugly and that no men will love them, it's a problem with society creating an idealised image of what a woman should look like and not living up to that, causing body dysphoria and all that.

Men feel ugly and that no women will love them, they are delusional whiney manchildren.

No wonder they/we go mental. Their hate is just obviously misdirected.

Here's what incels don't understand: getting a positive reception to whining about being unattractive is not the barrier that needs to be overcome to find a partner.

Being somebody who whines about how ugly they are, acting like there is some great unfairness that applies to them is one of the reasons they cannot find a partner.

"It's so unfair, all I do is sit around complaining about how women are shallow and awful for not liking me, and nobody will go out with me! The only possible solution is to slink about being an absolute fucking rotter about it all".

[Pearly-Dewdrops Drops]

The problem is, if women feel ugly and that no men will love them, it's a problem with society creating an idealised image of what a woman should look like and not living up to that, causing body dysphoria and all that.

Men feel ugly and that no women will love them, they are delusional whiney manchildren.

No wonder they/we go mental. Their hate is just obviously misdirected.

That's nonsense. Women are subjected to much harsher aesthetic standards in society, and the men who are labeled "delusional whiney manchildren" are not merely men who feel ugly but men who vocally take it out on women or belong to communities that have a clear and overriding ideology of misogyny.

[bgmnts]

That's nonsense. Women are subjected to much harsher aesthetic standards in society, and the men who are labeled "delusional whiney manchildren" are not merely men who feel ugly but men who vocally take it out on women or belong to communities that have a clear and overriding ideology of misogyny.

Right but there isn't really a counter to those standards is there? There's no big is beautiful body positivity movement for men. You either suck it up or crumble. We are taught to not open about our issues, problems, anxieties and depression.

Even just talking about these issues and the problems men face in society (caused by other men, no doubt) is a challenge because nobody really wants to accept the fact that men face problems because women face bigger problems.

[Bazooka]

Why dont they go to South East Asia and hedge their bets there? Although that whiney catfishing knob would spend the air fare on face masks. Too much reliance on Tinder etc, I know absolute hunks that have had little luck, I dunno I've only met me long term partners face to face, and kidnapped them with a potato sack.

[BlodwynPig]

I'll fuck you BGMNTS, for 60 quid

[Dr Rock]

Not really a secret world is it. 

[Icehaven]

It's my (admittedly limited) understanding of incelworld that it isn't just that they can't get laid or get a girlfriend, it's that they want/feel entitled to conventionally physically attractive women, and their lack of success at achieving this is the main fuel for their ire. Because surely if any of them sat down in any town or city centre for half an hour and observed the variety of couples out there, they couldn't continue to deceive themselves that only tall square jawed gym freaks have girlfriends. 

[sevendaughters]

It's my (admittedly limited) understanding of incelworld that it isn't just that they can't get laid or get a girlfriend, it's that they want/feel entitled to conventionally physically attractive women, and their lack of success at achieving this is the main fuel for their ire. Because surely if any of them sat down in any town or city centre for half an hour and observed the variety of couples out there, they couldn't continue to deceive themselves that only tall square jawed gym freaks have girlfriends.

Pretty true. Elliott Rodger was irate that hot blonde sorority style women weren't into him. His entire womanview was pornified to the maximum. He was not ugly, but he was clearly so fucking intense and self-loathing that it had warped him.

[bgmnts]

Surely if they were self loathing they would focus their energy on hating themselves rather than hating women.

[sevendaughters]

I feel I speak from my deeply incel-like 20s.

[peanutbutter]

Are there any incels that have any remotely intriguing interests? They always seem to have the most generic nerd interests possible. Really... do they any kind of sincere passion for anything at all?

[bgmnts]

I don't think so.

[BlodwynPig]

Are there any incels that have any remotely intriguing interests? They always seem to have the most generic nerd interests possible. Really... do they any kind of sincere passion for anything at all?

Pointless beings with no sufficient use to mankind

[Bazooka]

Pointless beings with no sufficient use to mankind

That's a bit harsh, the cunt who catfished people could infiltrate any government in the world wearing that mask, and steal documents unnoticed.

[mjwilson]

Are there any incels that have any remotely intriguing interests? They always seem to have the most generic nerd interests possible. Really... do they any kind of sincere passion for anything at all?

Rick and Morty.