Do you burp?

[touchingcloth]

Dad's started to burp.

"Alright, cloth? Blerelch, scuse me. I was just saying to your mother that, blerelch, scuse me, we need to, blerelch, scuse me, we need to go and see your grandad. Blerelch."

I don't think I've ever burped without needing to deliberately for, blerelch, scuse me, without needing to deliberately force it out. Is this an old man thing?

[Ray Travez]

I'm afraid I do. I have a three centimetre gallstone, and it seems to be one of the symptoms. I also eat a lot of fruit- apples, pineapples, bananas, and it seems to be a symptom of that, too.

[Sebastian Cobb]

I do full on Barney Gumble style belches when I'm in my own gaff.

Don't burp mid conversation though. Sometimes have to let a few silent ones out after eating though.

[imitationleather]

Only if I've seriously over-indulged. I'm far more about the parping and it's why I'm not allowed into society.

[Jittlebags]

BRRaapp. I'm off..

[thenoise]

I try and demonstrate them to my 3 week old son, as if he doesn't do at least 3 following a feed he will be screaming in pain within 10 minutes.

Used to think being a baby was fun but it's pretty grim actually.

[touchingcloth]

I try and demonstrate them to my 3 week old son, as if he doesn't do at least 3 following a feed he will be screaming in pain within 10 minutes.

Sounds like you got a defective one. You can try using the end of a bent paperclip to poke the small hole at the back for a factory reset, and if it still doesn't work you can return it for a full refund seeing as you got it less than 28 days ago.

[Ray Travez]

A friend of mine, a decorator, had a very loud, distinctive burp. One time he was painting the wall of a house, behind this thick hedge, so he couldn't be seen. He let loose a huge burp, as was his wont, and a passer-by behind the hedge stopped and said, "Johnny! is that you?!" Recognised him from his burp.

[ZoyzaSorris]

I can suck air in and out of my stomach at will so can belch lengthy soliloquys or any other text you may wish. Its going to give me cancer though.

[alan nagsworth]

My friend cannot burp. He has some dickhead gastro thing whereby all he can muster is that feeling of something croaking up your chest towards your throat but it never gets there. He can't drink particularly fizzy drinks or else it fucks him up. One time we dared him to down as much of a two litre bottle of lemonade as he could handle. He got about two thirds of the way down, quite admirably to be fair as I'd find that pretty tough, and the gurgling and stomach pain that followed rendered him immobile, agonised and in the foetal position for about two hours after. Good times.

I've got nowt blocking my burps mind, fucking love it.

[Sebastian Cobb]

the gurgling and stomach pain that followed rendered him immobile, agonised and in the foetal position for about two hours after. Good times.

I once had this after going overboard on a '3 for 2' pitchers of white russians made with cream. Regretted nothing though.

[object-lesson]

I've never once burped in my conscious memory which proves beyond dispute that it's not an involuntary reflex at all but a deliberate act of aggression on behalf of the perpetrator. Yes you say but historically it was regarded as a compliment to the host, well those days are behind us now and burping should be consigned to the dustbin of history alongside Mind Your Language and CFC in aerosol sprays.

[JarrowMonkey]

I do, but I no longer break wind, I miss my bum hole and everything that went with it, apart from the Chalfonts

[alan nagsworth]

I do, but I no longer break wind, I miss my bum hole and everything that went with it, apart from the Chalfonts

What about the clinkers? And the tagnuts?

[alan nagsworth]

Reckon you could replace the names of Santa's reindeer with stuff that comes out your arse.

"On Clinker, on Tagnut! On Nobby, on Spilt Guts!"