Author Topic: Football 2020 - Jetpacks for Goalposts  (Read 14329 times)

Shoulders?-Stomach!

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Football 2020 - Jetpacks for Goalposts
« on: July 16, 2019, 10:40:59 PM »
With the Scottish League Cup and the Champions League qualifiers, the 3 day gap between seasons has well and truly been bridged.

Saddle up for the wild ride ahead.

Who is going to win the thing this time? Your team? I wouldn't bet on it mate.

Re: Football 2020 - Jetpacks for Goalposts
« Reply #1 on: July 16, 2019, 10:46:54 PM »
Man City will spend another half a billion and win the title. Done.

Who will win the Champions League who knows.

Re: Football 2020 - Jetpacks for Goalposts
« Reply #2 on: July 17, 2019, 10:00:18 AM »
ooh hang on NURSE

BlodwynPig

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Re: Football 2020 - Jetpacks for Goalposts
« Reply #3 on: July 17, 2019, 10:03:52 AM »
Sorry shoulders, this didn't reach my inbox before I started up the other thread - feel free to use the other one FOR ALL FOOTBALL CHAT

and this one for Toons misery

Captain Z

  • Oh yeah my cholesterol's going down
Re: Football 2020 - Jetpacks for Goalposts
« Reply #4 on: July 17, 2019, 01:08:18 PM »
The latest David Squires cartoon makes a repeated reference to a "carrot that looks like Sting". Is this an actual thing, because I can't find any reference to it online even though Google's autocomplete shows many people have searched for the same text.

Shoulders?-Stomach!

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Re: Football 2020 - Jetpacks for Goalposts
« Reply #5 on: July 17, 2019, 06:17:10 PM »
Sorry shoulders, this didn't reach my inbox before I started up the other thread - feel free to use the other one FOR ALL FOOTBALL CHAT

and this one for Toons misery

Even with your tactic of following 56 teams, yours will fail.

Inspector Norse

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Re: Football 2020 - Jetpacks for Goalposts
« Reply #6 on: July 17, 2019, 09:48:30 PM »
With the Scottish League Cup and the Champions League qualifiers, the 3 day gap between seasons has well and truly been bridged.

Saddle up for the wild ride ahead.

Who is going to win the thing this time?

Which thing, the Scottish League Cup or the Champions League?

As my team's Oldham, can't see them winning either.

Can't see them winning a fucking thing anyway, the latest official update from the club was that there's some kind of battle going on between the board, the local council and some rogue group of fans over who runs the facilities in one of the stands, meaning they've shut the stand down. All this despite our glorious 1-0 pre-season victory over Raja Casablanca.

Also, we have Chris O'Grady up front and his legs are made from osmium.

Re: Football 2020 - Jetpacks for Goalposts
« Reply #7 on: July 17, 2019, 09:55:27 PM »
The latest David Squires cartoon makes a repeated reference to a "carrot that looks like Sting". Is this an actual thing, because I can't find any reference to it online even though Google's autocomplete shows many people have searched for the same text.

I took it to be simply things related to Newcastle.



Inspector Norse

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Re: Football 2020 - Jetpacks for Goalposts
« Reply #8 on: July 17, 2019, 09:58:49 PM »
Is Ant McPartlin resurrecting his acting career with a role in Dark?

Shoulders?-Stomach!

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Re: Football 2020 - Jetpacks for Goalposts
« Reply #9 on: July 17, 2019, 10:05:30 PM »
Quality Byker Grove action going on there

BlodwynPig

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Re: Football 2020 - Jetpacks for Goalposts
« Reply #10 on: July 17, 2019, 10:57:21 PM »
Quality Byker Grove action going on there

Yeh, and two of those went to my school, one in my class...Donna went to Sacred Heart our sister school
Oh, and did i mention i appeared on byker grove twice, once wanking?

New season, old revelations

Re: Football 2020 - Jetpacks for Goalposts
« Reply #11 on: July 18, 2019, 02:09:11 PM »
Ludogorets dumped out of the CL by Ferencvaros, now they slither down into the Europa League with all the other loser effluence. Ferencvaros is an awesome name for a football club, shame they're such a mediocre team.

BlodwynPig

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Re: Football 2020 - Jetpacks for Goalposts
« Reply #12 on: July 18, 2019, 02:30:43 PM »
Ludogorets dumped out of the CL by Ferencvaros, now they slither down into the Europa League with all the other loser effluence. Ferencvaros is an awesome name for a football club, shame they're such a mediocre team.

*Ahem*

Domestic
Nemzeti Bajnokság I
Winners (30): 12: 1903, 1905, 1906–07, 1908–09, 1909–10, 1910–11, 1911–12, 1912–13, 1925–26, 1926–27, 1927–28, 1931–32, 1933–34, 1937–38, 1939–40, 1940–41, 1948–49, 1962–63, 1964, 1967, 1968, 1975–76, 1980–81, 1991–92, 1994–95, 1995–96, 2000–01, 2003–04, 2015–16, 2018–19
Runners-up (35): 1902, 1904, 1907–08, 1913–14, 1917–18, 1918–19, 1921–22, 1923–24, 1924–25, 1928–29, 1929–30, 1934–35, 1936–37, 1938–39, 1943–44, 1945, 1959–60, 1965, 1966, 1970, 1970–71, 1972–73, 1973–74, 1978–79, 1981–82, 1982–83, 1988–89, 1990–91, 1997–98, 1998–99, 2001–02, 2002–03, 2004–05, 2014–15, 2017–18
Nemzeti Bajnokság II
Winners (1): 2008–09
Runners-up (1): 2006–07
Magyar Kupa
Winners (23): 13: 1912–13, 1921–22, 1926–27, 1927–28, 1932–33, 1934–35, 1941–42, 1942–43, 1943–44, 1955–58, 1971–72, 1973–74, 1975–76, 1977–78, 1990–91, 1992–93, 1993–94, 1994–95, 2002–03, 2003–04, 2014–15, 2015–16, 2016–17
Szuperkupa
Winners (6): 1993, 1994, 1995, 2004, 2015, 2016
Ligakupa
Winners (2): 2012–13, 2014–15

European
Inter-Cities Fairs Cup
Winners (1): 1964–65
Runners-up (1): 1967–68
UEFA Cup Winners' Cup
Runners-up (1): 1974–75
Mitropa Cup
Winners (2): 1928, 1937
Runners-up (4): 1935, 1938, 1939, 1940
Challenge Cup
Winners (1): 1909
Runners-up (1): 1911
Tournoi de Nöel de Paris
Winners (1): 1935[28]

Re: Football 2020 - Jetpacks for Goalposts
« Reply #13 on: July 18, 2019, 04:38:14 PM »
Forest won back to back European cups, still shit though. Ohh Ferencvaros were good nearly 50 years ago, ohh. Now they get dumped out in qualifying by the likes of Partizani. They're not even named after Ferenc Puskas like I'd assumed, an absolute failing.

Chollis

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Re: Football 2020 - Jetpacks for Goalposts
« Reply #14 on: July 18, 2019, 05:14:40 PM »
Can't wait for it to start if I'm honest lads

Re: Football 2020 - Jetpacks for Goalposts
« Reply #15 on: July 18, 2019, 07:14:09 PM »
Ferencvaros is an awesome name for a football club, shame

Not as awesome as POLICE MACHINE!

Sadly they're only famous for one thing: https://www.bbc.co.uk/sport/football/23240104

Shoulders?-Stomach!

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Re: Football 2020 - Jetpacks for Goalposts
« Reply #16 on: July 18, 2019, 09:34:22 PM »
Kilmarnock losing to fucking Connah's Quay at home.

To paraphrase The Thick Of It: "Who are they? I have never heard of them. They don't exist."

finnquark

  • come un sogno che va via, ti svegli triste
Re: Football 2020 - Jetpacks for Goalposts
« Reply #17 on: July 18, 2019, 09:45:34 PM »
Chapter 14 - Who Needs Awards

- Neil insisted Adel turn up to the awards ceremony post-promotion. Adel won goal of the season but came second in the player of year category, to Paddy Kenny of course.

- Adel left the awards early because he hadn't won the top award - Neil was so disappointed with his behaviour, because he had treated him like a son. Neil text Adel at half-past midnight and told Adel how King Warnock could make or break his career.

- As the prospect of a points deduction looms, Neil warns the physios and cleaners that if he sees anybody moping around, he'll 'jump them'

- The press were asking about Mark Palios, who was doing the rounds on TV demanding Cuu Pee Arr lose points. Neil politely points out his affair with a secretary, and suggests Mark is used to cheap publicity.

- Neil visits Adel's agents, and hears how Taraabt wanted the club to wear shirts supporting the victim of a Moroccan bomb blast. 'Only a few weeks ago, Sharon and I had sat in the same cafe when I went out to watch Adel play for Morocco. A shiver went down my spine when I saw the News At Ten.'

- Neil then mutters something about Scotty Parker, Aidy Boothroyd and Dean Smith being solid football men, apropos of nothing.

- 'I am sure Adel can pick up money in the far-east, just walking around and performing his tricks.'

- On the day of the Leeds game (last day of the season) the club find out they've not been deducted any points - Clint Hill was weeping in the dressing room. 'A moment in time none of us would forget.'

- 'It was happy. Happy Party Time.'

- 'The Championship Trophy is a beautiful trophy, much prettier than the Premiership one. I asked Sharon if she wouldn't mind me sleeping with it. She didn't, as long as she didn't have to do the same, so she slept in the spare room.'

- 'It would have looked great on the mantelpiece. It was a pity we didn't have a mantelpiece.'

- Warnock was the only title winning manager in the top four divisions who wasn't voted manager of the season for his division, but he definitely wasn't bitter about it. He actually thought it was funny, and everyone at the awards ceremony knew he should of won it. 'I knew that I was the best manager by miles and that is all that matters.'

- 'There are only six or seven managers that I cannot stand.'

- Warnock claims he has helped Roberto Martinez, Moyes, Wenger, Brendan, Malky Mackay and hundreds of others.

king_tubby

  • Weysel
Re: Football 2020 - Jetpacks for Goalposts
« Reply #18 on: July 18, 2019, 09:55:34 PM »
Squires is such an unfunny cunt.

Anyway, posting here to laugh at Kilmarnock and I'm not even a Welsh.

Re: Football 2020 - Jetpacks for Goalposts
« Reply #19 on: July 18, 2019, 10:04:27 PM »
Having watched most of the second half on a poor quality stream, Killie look lost without Steve Clarke and last season’s loanees. I fear the appointment of Angelo Alessio might prove to be a mistake, which is a shame as at least they didn’t go for one of the same boring old ‘fitba men’ that do the rounds on the Scottish managerial scene.

Some Killie fans had already booked their accommodation for the next round in Belgrade. Oh dear.

Still, the pies at Rugby Park are excellent, so there’s always that.

Re: Football 2020 - Jetpacks for Goalposts
« Reply #20 on: July 18, 2019, 10:08:23 PM »
Connah's Quay's nickname are the Nomads. But they are situated in one place no?

Shoulders?-Stomach!

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Re: Football 2020 - Jetpacks for Goalposts
« Reply #21 on: July 18, 2019, 10:14:42 PM »
Quote
"Yesterday I said 'no complacency' because I've played in a lot of these games. But today I repeat, we had two opportunities to score.

2 opportunities. At home. Against Connah's Quay? Wow sounds like you hammered them mate.

Quote
"Every action was a foul, a yellow or red card. Unbelievable. Connah's Quay gave away a lot of fouls, but this is their strength.

Cantona would've killed that.
Welcome to the fucking UK.

Shoulders?-Stomach!

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Re: Football 2020 - Jetpacks for Goalposts
« Reply #22 on: July 18, 2019, 10:16:25 PM »


wooaaah

mate

pal

We've got kids here

Grieving kids can ye nae see?

BlodwynPig

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Re: Football 2020 - Jetpacks for Goalposts
« Reply #23 on: July 18, 2019, 11:02:07 PM »
Most desolate story...all that toil and relative success last season comes to this.

Re: Football 2020 - Jetpacks for Goalposts
« Reply #24 on: July 18, 2019, 11:20:27 PM »

Re: Football 2020 - Jetpacks for Goalposts
« Reply #25 on: July 18, 2019, 11:49:23 PM »
Sounds like a Limmy voice.

Re: Football 2020 - Jetpacks for Goalposts
« Reply #26 on: July 18, 2019, 11:56:33 PM »
That's Gordon Sawers, a Kilmarnock fan who is well-known for being a real life cartoon character.

https://youtube.com/watch?v=S9u3Mgrmf3U

Re: Football 2020 - Jetpacks for Goalposts
« Reply #27 on: July 19, 2019, 02:20:00 PM »
Which thing, the Scottish League Cup or the Champions League?

As my team's Oldham, can't see them winning either.

Can't see them winning a fucking thing anyway, the latest official update from the club was that there's some kind of battle going on between the board, the local council and some rogue group of fans over who runs the facilities in one of the stands, meaning they've shut the stand down. All this despite our glorious 1-0 pre-season victory over Raja Casablanca.

Also, we have Chris O'Grady up front and his legs are made from osmium.

And we've got Urko Vera, possibly the worst footballer I've ever seen.

FerriswheelBueller

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Re: Football 2020 - Jetpacks for Goalposts
« Reply #28 on: July 21, 2019, 09:49:56 PM »
Tickets for the Villa v Walsall FC preseason friendly PURCHASED.

I’m in the away end with Mrs Ferris (who has never been to a game before).

LET’S GO FUCKING MENTAL, LET’S GO FUCKING MENTAL, NAH NAH NAHH NAHHHH, HEY! NAH NAH NAHHH NAHHHH, HEY!

BlodwynPig

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Re: Football 2020 - Jetpacks for Goalposts
« Reply #29 on: July 21, 2019, 11:19:54 PM »
Has Cook sacked Walsall off yet?