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Football 2020 - Jetpacks for Goalposts

Started by Shoulders?-Stomach!, July 16, 2019, 10:40:59 PM

Previous topic - Next topic

BlodwynPig

Quote from: sevendaughters on July 25, 2019, 08:46:29 PM
great location for the new stadium and I like the design. Those docks need a spruce up and if it takes Merseyside's 3rd best team then go for it.

We'll lease out Prenton Park to you when we move to our 70k seater in a few years time

imitationleather

Best of luck to Gareth Bale on his new £1million/week contract in the Chinese Super League! I can't think of anyone in world sport who has earned it more than him.

DrGreggles

I know pre-season friendlies mean bugger all, but Atletico Madrid appear to have beaten Real Madrid 7-3.

BlodwynPig

Quote from: imitationleather on July 27, 2019, 10:21:58 AM
Best of luck to Gareth Bale on his new £1million/week contract in the Chinese Super League! I can't think of anyone in world sport who has earned it more than him.

What will he do with all that money?

imitationleather

Quote from: BlodwynPig on July 27, 2019, 11:46:00 AM
What will he do with all that money?

Use €500 notes as wank rags, obviously.

bgmnts

Concentrating on his international career.

Shoulders?-Stomach!

Luckily his time in Spain will have helped to quickly and professionally grasp a new language.

Move to China before 32, any lingering respect even as a footballer reverts to Zero.

BlodwynPig

Here's a glorious bit of journalism from the bbc, shoulds:

QuoteRyan Giggs saw first-hand how David Beckham was worshipped in East Asia when they toured countries such as China and Japan during their playing days at Manchester United.

So when Giggs compared the hero's welcome Gareth Bale received in China with Wales last year to the fanfare which Beckham inspired in the Far East, he was speaking from a position of authority.

Ferris


druss

Forest will start the season well, have a slight dip in form before Christmas, sack the manager, get a new manager and then drift down to lower mid-table again.

I could copy and paste this for the Football 2021 thread.

Shoulders?-Stomach!

But this time Gareth BEL will buy your entire club at the end of the year and turn it into toilets

RDRR

More good stuff from the BBC:

Quote from: 'https://www.bbc.co.uk/sport/football/49111496';The precision control needed to create the opportunity seems to be at odds with Ndombele's stature. To an outsider, he seems all about power and strength. Ndombele's movement is akin to that of Yaya Toure.

It's apparently surprising that Ndombele, at 181cm and 76kg, can play football and isn't just a tank. Wonder what it is that invites comparisons to Yaya Toure and Pogba. 

Captain Z

Poor Gareth! His hopes and dreams shattered as he will now have to resort to playing golf and occasionally enjoying a good old sit down for 90 minutes, all for a paltry £600k per week.

BlodwynPig

"A bald man from Leeds was spotted talking to Real Madrid bosses prior to Bale getting a recall from China"...

"Bale was said to be 'fuming with that bald gangly twat of a turd', before heading off to Playa del Mancha golf club"

Jasha

I don't really understand this downer on Bale. Other than moving to king of the cunts (and you could say the same if he'd gone to Barcelona/PSG/Munich/Juve) all he's done is take the going rate (and rinsed Perez in the process).

BlodwynPig

Neymar, Ronaldo = Not rapists, official

If there's no actual evidence of rape, that's probably fair enough. Hopefully if they do rape someone, they'll leave plenty of evidence.

Bennett Brauer



Shoulders?-Stomach!

If you focus on the other fingers they have a grasping, threatening and rather rape-aligned menace.

bgmnts

Why was Debbie Alli wearing a sports bra today under his football shirt.

Inspector Norse

Quote from: bgmnts on July 30, 2019, 09:02:05 PM
Why was Debbie Alli wearing a sports bra today under his football shirt.

It's a kind of glorified Fitbit, monitors players' vitals and activity. Why it's designed like a bra I don't know, I would guess that it was either that that was the most ergonomic form for it to take, that the designer had a "thing" about bras, or that the designer wanted to make footballers look a bit daft.

BlodwynPig

Quote from: Inspector Norse on July 30, 2019, 09:11:39 PM
It's a kind of glorified Fitbit, monitors players' vitals and activity. Why it's designed like a bra I don't know, I would guess that it was either that that was the most ergonomic form for it to take, that the designer had a "thing" about bras, or that the designer wanted to make footballers look a bit daft.

Saw it used in the Tour de France

Inspector Norse

Nah that was just a normal bra. Geraint Thomas has massive manboobs. Big eater of crisps.

jobotic

I'm a big eater of crisps but I've got tiny little titties. That isn't Geraint's problem.

chveik


Bennett Brauer

Quote from: chveik on July 30, 2019, 11:50:32 PM
Ferencvaros qualified!

Get in!

I wish your James Coburn avatar didn't look like Matt Smith reacting to some post-match pitchside banter.

Shoulders?-Stomach!

https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-asia-49168694

Fan chant name of rat? For Ronalado this is no UEFA RESPECt™ from sporting minow korea fan, korea is zero Fifa World Cup win, is zero Europa Championship win. Win maybe 2088? Is possible - population is denesity

For sure Ronalado is now change cellphone, good bye Samsung electronics


Captain Z

TOTTENHAM HAVE WON A TROPHY


(Yes it counts)


Oh, and it gets better, Juan Foyth got injured.

Jasha

Quote from: Captain Z on August 01, 2019, 01:28:45 PM
TOTTENHAM HAVE WON A TROPHY

Good, now ITV4 can get back to showing Minder & The Sweeney at teatime