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March 29, 2024, 08:00:33 AM

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Kids in Pubs

Started by The Boston Crab, July 19, 2019, 09:59:10 PM

Previous topic - Next topic

Got any ID?

Yes
2 (6.7%)
No
6 (20%)
I'm 74 with dwarfism you fucking cunt
4 (13.3%)
Can I have a straw please?
0 (0%)
I've only come in for a piss
2 (6.7%)
It's a packet of crisps mate
2 (6.7%)
Here you go, sorry for the terrible photo in which I look like a terrorst
0 (0%)
I don't drive and I don't have a passport - would you take a bank statement?
0 (0%)
I've got children of my own for goodness sake
0 (0%)
Just because I can't remember my date of birth doesn't mean I'm lying to you
0 (0%)
Look mate I'm obviously an adult so can I have a pint of Snakebite and a Reef please
1 (3.3%)
Do you remember Brannigan's crisps? The best crisp
4 (13.3%)
You can still get them in Lidl's and a few newsagents
0 (0%)
We used to have this newsagent where you could buy old Viz annuals
0 (0%)
There was this condom machine outside - it's still there to this day
0 (0%)
It has actually been there longer than I've been alive
0 (0%)
And I'm 35
0 (0%)
No really I am
0 (0%)
What do you mean you don't believe me? Fuck you I'm never coming back here again
1 (3.3%)
Fuck your shitty little pub
2 (6.7%)
I'll go elsewhere
1 (3.3%)
Specifically to the off licence down the road - that bloke will serve anyone
0 (0%)
Raoul Moat
5 (16.7%)
Duran Duran run out of steam. And oxygen
0 (0%)

Total Members Voted: 30

Fuck off you little AIDS ridden cunts. Parents go home and take your cunt spawn and fill them in under the stairs. Get some parenting skills you third world scumbags and have some dogshit for your dinner.

Puce Moment

On the other hand, look at how cute they are!

Awwwww.....

weekender

It's a reasonable view, but I don't think it goes far enough with the detailed description of child murders.

Ambient Sheep

Serves you right for running a gaming pub.

chveik

no worse than kids in public transport.

does this mean that you have chosen not to have children?

weekender

Quote from: Ambient Sheep on July 19, 2019, 10:00:54 PM
Serves you right for running a gaming pub.

Genuinely wondered why TBC had opened a gaming pub for a second, it's been a long week.

Still, at least anyone who ever posts in this thread agrees that all children should be brutally murdered.

pigamus

Quote from: The Boston Crab on July 19, 2019, 09:59:10 PM
Fuck off you little AIDS ridden cunts. Parents go home and take your cunt spawn and fill them in under the stairs. Get some parenting skills you third world scumbags and have some dogshit for your dinner.

Well if it's ten o'clock on a Friday night you're well within your rights to go full Michael Douglas in Falling Down in my opinion.

bgmnts

I'll fill your kids in for you.

José



if there's not one of these badboys in the beer garden and the bars full of scowling fishermen you should probably take yer sprogs and get tae fuck.

Danger Man

Quote from: Ambient Sheep on July 19, 2019, 10:00:54 PM
Serves you right for running a gaming pub.

Islam is very child friendly

sponk


Brian Freeze

Dont be so mean, they've just broken up for the holidays. Six short weeks and itll be like they were never there in the first place.


Urinal Cake

A dog in a pub is grand. Generally quiet, lays at your feet and eats chips.

Shoulders?-Stomach!


pigamus

Quote from: José on July 19, 2019, 10:49:48 PM


if there's not one of these badboys in the beer garden and the bars full of scowling fishermen you should probably take yer sprogs and get tae fuck.

Well fuck me if I didn't look at this and immediately think of the Shoe People, for the first time in about thirty odd years. Do you remember the Shoe People?

jobotic

Sh..sh..sh..Shoe People?

No.

José

Quote from: pigamus on July 19, 2019, 11:36:12 PM
Well fuck me if I didn't look at this and immediately think of the Shoe People, for the first time in about thirty odd years. Do you remember the Shoe People?

i distinctly remember large fibreglass boots shaped like "trampy" (the inbred yokel shoeperson). couldn't for the life of me find a picture of one though. they even had his stupid fucking buck-toothed face and a slide that came out of the hole in the toecap. the cool older kids would climb on top and sit on the brim of his hat smoking cigs and sniffing glue while us little ones would urinate in the shoe's interior until the oven-like temperature/smell of ammonia made us feel all giddy.

happy dayze!

New folder

kids in pubes
wasp under a glass
ready salted
unprepared vinegar

willpurry

Quote from: jobotic on July 19, 2019, 11:42:01 PM
Sh..sh..sh..Shoe People?

No.

The Shoe People was created by James Driscoll, who got the inspiration for the show from d̶r̶u̶g̶s̶ noticing that the style and appearance of people's shoes told you about their owners' personalities.

Sebastian Cobb

Quote from: pigamus on July 19, 2019, 11:36:12 PM
Well fuck me if I didn't look at this and immediately think of the Shoe People, for the first time in about thirty odd years. Do you remember the Shoe People?

I think the actual title of the show was 'Hammerman' mate.

tourism

Enjoying the thought of a child's joy bringing whatever terrible train of thought TheBostonCrab was having to a screeching halt.

Kryton


Bennett Brauer

Quote from: tourism on July 20, 2019, 12:26:56 AM
Enjoying the thought of a child's joy bringing whatever terrible train of thought TheBostonCrab was having to a screeching halt.

"What means writing a nobble?"

José

Quote from: Kryton on July 20, 2019, 01:16:16 AM
A lot of games are Haram too!

https://islamqa.info/en/answers/2898/electronic-games

i've literally just gone full tommy robinson and i'm well up for a crusade.

Icehaven

Having last week witnessed 3 children running round a busy car park ricocheting bouncy balls off cars while their parents sat in the adjoining pub either oblivious or indifferent, I've come to the conclusion that kids outside pubs are even worse.

Shoulders?-Stomach!

Run them down. That's what should happen. Rule by fear. That's the way it was managed. High infant mortality - only the strong survive. Corporal punishment - keep in line or get beaten to fuck. A network of neighbours who would grass anyone up. Good luck mate. Automatic deference to ANY ADULT. Rule by fear.

Run them down. Get in your car and run them down.

On another note, brought your fresh out the vadge baby into work? Good luck getting that LANCE out of it. Good luck getting it to a hospital before MAJOR ORGAN FAILURE mate.

a duncandisorderly

Quote from: The Boston Crab on July 19, 2019, 09:59:10 PM
fill them in under the stairs

please elaborate. I've got two kids & I shan't be taking them to any pubs until they're both old enough to get them in with their own money.
but we have no stairs.

jobotic

Quality stuff. After the break...why is the toast always not toasted at all or burned?

Twit 2

Best pub for kids is the Fred West Arms in Herefordshire:

Peedophilliac heraldry, the coat of arms is a coat of arms.
Scampi and Chips is actually battered kids' bollocks and fingers but pleasingly just as fishy.
The fibreglass boot in the garden has a trapdoor to hell.
Rose West is the landlady, via video link.
Excellent patio area.

Glebe

[tag]Kids in Pubs Getting Coffee.[/tag]