Annabel Comes Home

[BritishHobo]

Back when the first Conjuring film came out, I found myself more interested in how the mad, negligent behaviour of the fraudster cunt Warrens impacted their daughter, than I was in the Warren-heroism horror side of things. This is what I said at the time:

I just saw The Conjuring and while it had a good attempt at an interesting story, I can't help but feel that the little girl never seeing her parents because they're always out 'fighting ghosts', would have made for a much better story, since any faults the Warrens had/might have had were ignored in favour of 'scary ghosts want to hurt our children'. I quite like the idea of a psychological horror about this young girl growing up under a couple like the Warrens - they're convinced that they're fighting evil spirits, there's a room in their house filled with 'possessed' objects, and the mum is fucked up after 'seeing something' during an exorcism. That's a fascinating story.

That was only further developed by the second film, in which Lorraine's big decision to give up ghost-hunting in order to focus on family life is immediately reversed after she has a terrifying breakdown in front of the daughter, and immediately decides to jet off to London with Patrick Wilson, leaving her behind. If I remember correctly, Ed and Lorraine keep banging on about the importance of family to the Enfield kids, but barely if ever mention their own kid.

Well thank god for the third Annabelle film, which focuses entirely on the poor fucker growing up in the nightmare house of the Warrens. In this film, the premise of which is 'the Warrens go away and leave their daughter at home again', we learn that the young girl is bullied in school because of who her parents are. Nobody wants to be friends with her, and she's had year after year of birthdays where nobody turns up. At one point, Lorraine tells her 'one day you'll find people who understand'. Not 'maybe we ought to stop chasing fame and publicity', not 'let's do our duty as parents and help you', no. No, it's 'good luck with the shit life kiddo, maybe it'll be fine eventually'.

It's okay though, her friendship problems are solved because a unstable grieving teenager barges her way into the house while the Warrens are away, breaks into their super secret 'possessed item' museum, and moves stuff around, scaring fuck out of child Warren and thereby somehow teaching her about friends(?). This is what happens, because ghosts don't exist.

FUCK THE WARRENS

[Bazooka]

I hope she goes home, utter dross.