Poll

How would you describe Boris Johnson to someone who didn't know what he was?

A grunty little pig in a permanent wig
4 (6.5%)
Gary Busey stuffed with tomatoes and piss
5 (8.1%)
A blithering sphere of hate and confusion
7 (11.3%)
Wanton Churchill
0 (0%)
Gas
0 (0%)
Raoul Moat
7 (11.3%)
A cunt
2 (3.2%)
A total cunt
0 (0%)
A fucking cunt
0 (0%)
A total fucking cunt
9 (14.5%)
The End of the World
1 (1.6%)
A shit-haired cunt with stinking fascist friends
18 (29%)
A baby dick in a suit
2 (3.2%)
Jo Johnson's brother
1 (1.6%)
KHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAN
1 (1.6%)
A gif of a Dachshund throwing up a whole frankfurter forever
5 (8.1%)

Total Members Voted: 62

Author Topic: PM Boris Thread  (Read 54209 times)

PM Boris Thread
« on: July 23, 2019, 01:11:08 PM »
There may already be one, in which case let me know and I'll delete it. But for now, let's talk about this absolute shitshow.

Re: Tory leadership contest?
« Reply #1 on: July 23, 2019, 01:11:33 PM »
I just hate that another entitled cunt gets just what they want even though theyre totally unqualified and to the expense of just about everybody

Ugh fucking Raab. Now wait for his fucking cabinet of dimwits

pancreas

  • The islets of Langerhans are the very best islets
Re: PM Boris Thread
« Reply #2 on: July 23, 2019, 01:14:14 PM »
I think everyone's left the planet, I'm afraid.

Re: Re: Tory leadership contest?
« Reply #3 on: July 23, 2019, 01:15:14 PM »
Stupid question I already know the answer to. but why is 'Defeat Jeremy Corbyn' such a big priority like he's Lord Voldemort? It's them that's in power.

BlodwynPig

  • Throwing two dogs at a goblin
Re: Re: Tory leadership contest?
« Reply #4 on: July 23, 2019, 01:17:17 PM »
Quote
Dear BlodwynPig,

Now that Boris Johnson has been elected Prime Minister of the United Kingdom, we are writing to inform you that you are now #cancelled.

Yours,

The Dude Squad

"Suck it up, cunt" Boris Johnson, 2019

Re: Re: Tory leadership contest?
« Reply #5 on: July 23, 2019, 01:18:01 PM »
Gone by Christmas, that’s my prediction.

General election in November when they realise that Parliament is constitutionally required to (but won’t) approve No Deal Brexit.

He will never stop being Prime Minister due to a loophole he stumbles upon whilst trying to find a clause about him getting Prima Nocta in some ancient ministerial paperwork.

biggytitbo

  • WHAT ABOUT THE GODDAM JAFFA CAKES ASSWIPE
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Re: Re: Tory leadership contest?
« Reply #6 on: July 23, 2019, 01:18:41 PM »
This hot take about it being Have I Got News For You's fault is bollocks isn't it, what are they meant to do not have any politicians on in case they become Prime Minister 20 years later?

Lordofthefiles

  • A dog with two dicks or a dick with two dogs
Re: PM Boris Thread
« Reply #7 on: July 23, 2019, 01:23:35 PM »
Initial impressions of our new PM:


He walks like a Womble.

He talks like Basil Brush.

He refers to Priti Patel his "Get Out of Jail Free Wog".

He wants you to imagine the noise he makes when he does a cum.

He wants you to imagine the state of the arsehole on his Boris Johnson RealDoll™ that he keeps in the attic.

He wants you to imagine the smell of his gooch and socks.

Fambo Number Mive

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Re: Re: Tory leadership contest?
« Reply #8 on: July 23, 2019, 01:25:47 PM »
Wouldn't go so far as to they it was their fault, but it does remind me of that quote of Cook's on his satirical nightclub, the Establishment, and how it was modelled on "those wonderful Berlin cabarets, which did so much to stop the rise of Hitler and prevent the outbreak of the Second World War". Sending up Johnson proved just as effective.

I think HIGNFY did a lot to help Johnson get into power by making him look like a bumbling figure of fun rather than what he really is . If they had any decency the next program should be 30 mins of Hislop and Merton apologising.

Paul Calf

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Re: Re: Tory leadership contest?
« Reply #9 on: July 23, 2019, 01:30:40 PM »
/autotranslate on

I am shitting myself with glee at this news but I have to hide it because I know this will make me look like a massive turd.

/autotranslate off

Old Nehamkin

  • Dance, Jimmy!
Re: Re: Tory leadership contest?
« Reply #10 on: July 23, 2019, 01:32:23 PM »
This hot take about it being Have I Got News For You's fault is bollocks isn't it

It's certainly not "all their fault", but they did actively contribute to Johnson's (largely successful) PR effort to brand himself as a clownish but good-natured eccentric. They helped solidify the "Legend Boris"  idiocy that was prevalent in the mid to late 00s and which undoubtedley helped him become mayor of London.

Quote
what are they meant to do not have any politicians on in case they become Prime Minister 20 years later?

They could maybe not have invited him to host the show four separate times. They could have challenged him on the cynicism and ruthlessness behind his "oh cripes!" persona instead of letting him smirk his way through a series of self-deprecating autocue lines and wacky prop gags.
« Last Edit: July 23, 2019, 01:47:34 PM by Old Nehamkin »

Re: Re: Tory leadership contest?
« Reply #11 on: July 23, 2019, 01:34:48 PM »
This hot take about it being Have I Got News For You's fault is bollocks isn't it, what are they meant to do not have any politicians on in case they become Prime Minister 20 years later?

Please don't wank us off like this, it's fucking insulting

grassbath

  • Crocker was too green to see it
Re: Re: Tory leadership contest?
« Reply #12 on: July 23, 2019, 01:39:59 PM »
Stupid question I already know the answer to. but why is 'Defeat Jeremy Corbyn' such a big priority like he's Lord Voldemort? It's them that's in power.

Propaganda > meaningful policy.

Mister Six

  • Half-masted, bass-boosted, sling-backed
Re: Re: Tory leadership contest?
« Reply #13 on: July 23, 2019, 01:41:41 PM »
Stupid question I already know the answer to. but why is 'Defeat Jeremy Corbyn' such a big priority like he's Lord Voldemort? It's them that's in power.

Because he presents a popular opposition to the status quo, and once in power and able to enact his policies the British public are liable to realise that pootling around the same bunch of entitled neoliberal shitbags in eternity isn't going to help with anything. The last thing they want is a government that tries to serve the people rather than the MPs' corporate Eton chums, in case that ghastly idea catches on.

The fact that they've had to drum up this anti-Semitism witch hunt rather than challenge him on policy shows how solid they know his political position is, and how weak their own is (see also the GOP challenging the Squad on their ethnic backgrounds and the mainstream Dems challenging them on their few numbers because the alternative is acknowledging that they represent a substantial chunk of American voters).

BlodwynPig

  • Throwing two dogs at a goblin
Re: Re: Tory leadership contest?
« Reply #14 on: July 23, 2019, 01:43:32 PM »


The Turd Reich

SpiderChrist

  • IS THIS A PIECE OF YOUR BRAIN?
Re: Re: Tory leadership contest?
« Reply #15 on: July 23, 2019, 01:44:30 PM »
In my office - and this is Manchester - it was more "yeah, he's a clown, but Corbyn's just as bad".
I fear we're becoming more like the US as we go along. Don't for one moment think some form of voter suppression won't happen over here - the ground was already tested with the Brexit mob in Peterborough saying the postal votes (from Asians) weren't legit.

Saw a tweet the other day from historian Stephen Graham, along the lines of “if I have to show ID when collecting a parcel, I don’t see what all the fuss is about showing ID when voting”.

pigamus

  • Sex, death, mayonnaise.
Re: Re: Tory leadership contest?
« Reply #16 on: July 23, 2019, 01:49:19 PM »
If it wasn't HIGNFY it would have been something else. We've got a weakness for that eccentric posho act in this country, hence Jacob Rees-Knob working the same angle.

Re: Re: Tory leadership contest?
« Reply #17 on: July 23, 2019, 01:51:08 PM »
Saw a tweet the other day from historian Stephen Graham, along the lines of “if I have to show ID when collecting a parcel, I don’t see what all the fuss is about showing ID when voting”.
I certainly think if the Tories said they were examining/removing postal votes in "certain" areas (ie heavily Labour but also Asian), there wouldn't be too much opposition from the public at large.

Re: Re: Tory leadership contest?
« Reply #18 on: July 23, 2019, 01:54:50 PM »
Der Spiegel don't seem too impressed:


Cerys

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Re: Re: Tory leadership contest?
« Reply #19 on: July 23, 2019, 01:56:39 PM »
If there is an election in the next 12 months, I am about 95% the nation will have a collective shitting of the bed and give the Tories a large majority following a campaign of Johnson just banging on about "Bulldog spirit" and "the English being the greatest of all peoples".

Yeah, that'll win him so much support from the Irish, Scottish and Welsh.

Re: Re: Tory leadership contest?
« Reply #20 on: July 23, 2019, 01:59:52 PM »
Yeah, that'll win him so much support from the Irish, Scottish and Welsh.
True enough. Blame that on my seeing the various Celts as their own nations.

Though Johnson will probably turn up at the next Highland games in a kilt to toss the caber (fnar) and proclaim his great-grandfather was from Wick.

Zero Gravitas

  • Who's wearing the cloven hoof strap-on?
Re: Re: Tory leadership contest?
« Reply #21 on: July 23, 2019, 02:00:24 PM »
Yeah, that'll win him so much support from the Irish, Scottish and Welsh.

I think they'll have to agree and respect it, Rhyl recognise real.

Norton Canes

  • Watching the Wednesday wheel
Re: Re: Tory leadership contest?
« Reply #22 on: July 23, 2019, 02:01:24 PM »
Keepin' it Rhyl. [^ oh he's gone and edited his post now, never mind]

Endicott

  • I've done no research
Re: Re: Tory leadership contest?
« Reply #23 on: July 23, 2019, 02:05:14 PM »
Der Spiegel don't seem too impressed:



Prince Charles. (in the eyes at least)

Cuellar

  • She was having sly love with a midnight creeper
Re: Re: Re: Tory leadership contest?
« Reply #24 on: July 23, 2019, 02:05:22 PM »
Yeah, that'll win him so much support from the Irish, Scottish and Welsh.

Yeah well, what are they gonna do about it? Not enough to keep Boris out of No 10, that's for sure.

Re: PM Boris Thread
« Reply #25 on: July 23, 2019, 02:12:10 PM »
Merged some posts from the Tory Leadership Contest thread https://www.cookdandbombd.co.uk/forums/index.php/topic,72351.0.html

Re: PM Boris Thread
« Reply #26 on: July 23, 2019, 02:12:47 PM »
LolBoz will be the 13th Prime Minister of the Queen's reign*

*counting Harold Wilsons 2 tenures as one, since he was the same human in both eras.

Re: PM Boris Thread
« Reply #27 on: July 23, 2019, 02:15:29 PM »
Who's resigned and defected so far then?

Re: PM Boris Thread
« Reply #28 on: July 23, 2019, 02:17:44 PM »
Well this is a difficult one. BoJo and all that. But > Hunt, May, Corbyn.

Cuellar

  • She was having sly love with a midnight creeper
Re: PM Boris Thread
« Reply #29 on: July 23, 2019, 02:23:39 PM »
Who's resigned and defected so far then?

Legend Rory Stewart claimed he wouldn't serve under Boris, but doesn't seem to be any action from him yet...