Poll

How would you describe Boris Johnson to someone who didn't know what he was?

A grunty little pig in a permanent wig
3 (5.5%)
Gary Busey stuffed with tomatoes and piss
5 (9.1%)
A blithering sphere of hate and confusion
6 (10.9%)
Wanton Churchill
0 (0%)
Gas
0 (0%)
Raoul Moat
7 (12.7%)
A cunt
2 (3.6%)
A total cunt
0 (0%)
A fucking cunt
0 (0%)
A total fucking cunt
8 (14.5%)
The End of the World
1 (1.8%)
A shit-haired cunt with stinking fascist friends
16 (29.1%)
A baby dick in a suit
2 (3.6%)
Jo Johnson's brother
0 (0%)
KHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAN
1 (1.8%)
A gif of a Dachshund throwing up a whole frankfurter forever
4 (7.3%)

Total Members Voted: 55

Author Topic: PM Boris Thread  (Read 30235 times)

Alberon

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Re: PM Boris Thread
« Reply #60 on: July 23, 2019, 03:55:03 PM »
So he’s won power, but what does he do to keep it? Carrying on the same path will destroy him and he is neither that stupid or has any political beliefs he wouldn’t dump in a heartbeat out of self-preservation.

What’s his next few moves?

Re: PM Boris Thread
« Reply #61 on: July 23, 2019, 03:57:03 PM »
Get richer or kill tryin'.

Paul Calf

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Re: PM Boris Thread
« Reply #62 on: July 23, 2019, 04:02:27 PM »
He’s got Bannon - a man currently touring Europe with a view to breaking the EU to weaken Europe-  behind him. He’ll push towards a cliff edge, either sidelining or ignoring parliament as much as he can.

I wonder whether the attempt to prorogue parliament was a bluff, and there’s a parallel plan in the works.

JesusAndYourBush

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Re: PM Boris Thread
« Reply #63 on: July 23, 2019, 04:13:13 PM »
So he’s won power, but what does he do to keep it? Carrying on the same path will destroy him and he is neither that stupid or has any political beliefs he wouldn’t dump in a heartbeat out of self-preservation.

What’s his next few moves?

He'll go to Europe to try and negotiate a deal and he'll be told EXACTLY the same as Theresa May was told.  But unlike May who probably kept discussions civil, he'll be incredibly rude which won't help.  Then come 31st October he'll either fuck the country or dither until he's forced out.

Ah shit they're playing that speech again.  DYOOD!

Re: PM Boris Thread
« Reply #64 on: July 23, 2019, 04:16:43 PM »
For a show that's meant to be taking down the manipulative phoniness of politicians, they got played by Boris, and their pathetic hypocrisy in letting him on to be the lovable oaf multiple times set in motion the events that have lead us here. They didn't mean for it to happen, but it's still enraging that they've done the exact opposite of what they're supposed to be doing. Congrats to the leading 'satire' show for laying a path to our destruction.

The whole role of that programme and others that play the game of 'we take the piss out of everything' is to be complicit with the very things it's feigning to undermine, and Johnson is the ultimate case of that. Morris knew all about this and tried to unmask it. There's very little real difference between the role of  HIGNFY and the Reality Television that helped Trump on his way.

As everyone knows the news/entertainment almalgamation is a significant aspect of the undermining of democracy and what was left of genuine public discourse in the western democracies.

I never found Johnson charming in the least, but I feel a bit guilty about being initially charmed by Rees-Mogg, something I still can't quite shake off despite his profound obnoxiousness.

Ambient Sheep

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Re: PM Boris Thread
« Reply #65 on: July 23, 2019, 04:23:54 PM »
Interesting background piece on Johnson from former CaB minor deity John Pienaar: https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/extra/2gvE3Pa8Gv/Boris_Johnson_battles

I hadn't realised until now that many of those famous EU-bashing articles about bendy bananas and so on back in the 90s were written by him back when he was a journalist!

It's curious that Pienaar mentions the zip-line story, saying:

Quote
Obviously, he never intended to get stuck half way down a zip-wire near the Olympic site. For someone else, it might have been disastrous. For Johnson it was a comedic triumph.

Either he doesn't read Popbitch (more than likely!), or he's being deliberately mischievous; I wonder which?

vanilla.coffee

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Re: PM Boris Thread
« Reply #66 on: July 23, 2019, 04:28:50 PM »
The cad that betrayed BJ in 2016 - Mr Gove, will he be doing the Portillo train gig after all this crinkles out?

Paul Calf

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Re: PM Boris Thread
« Reply #67 on: July 23, 2019, 04:31:36 PM »
Nah. Gove is yer classic Grand Vizier. He’ll be at least on the fringe of politics for another decade or so.

the

Re: PM Boris Thread
« Reply #68 on: July 23, 2019, 04:37:15 PM »
Interesting background piece on Johnson from former CaB minor deity John Pienaar: https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/extra/2gvE3Pa8Gv/Boris_Johnson_battles

Fucking web design on that page, jesus

Twed

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Re: PM Boris Thread
« Reply #69 on: July 23, 2019, 04:37:28 PM »
The cad that betrayed BJ in 2016 - Mr Gove, will he be doing the Portillo train gig after all this crinkles out?
Sorry to be shallow about this but I think this is a genuine factor: It doesn't actively hurt to look at Portillo for an extended period of time, whereas Gove is an unwatchable visual calamity.

Re: PM Boris Thread
« Reply #70 on: July 23, 2019, 04:40:53 PM »
Sorry to be shallow about this but I think this is a genuine factor: It doesn't actively hurt to look at Portillo for an extended period of time, whereas Gove is an unwatchable visual calamity.

Obvious and unhelpful quip but has to be done: A live action Pob reboot could be a workable televisual vehicle for him.

Fambo Number Mive

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Re: PM Boris Thread
« Reply #71 on: July 23, 2019, 05:06:48 PM »
Quote
Speaking after the 1922 Committee meeting, Health Secretary Matt Hancock said: "It was the sound of the Conservative Party reuniting.

"He left everybody feeling good, and positive and cheerful."

Yes, that happened when May took over and look what happened then. Still, GRRRRR

Ambient Sheep

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Re: PM Boris Thread
« Reply #72 on: July 23, 2019, 05:08:26 PM »
Fucking web design on that page, jesus

Standard BBC format now for some of their longer pieces.  I don't mind it, meself, although I hate to think how it might render on older browsers and/or hardware.

Ambient Sheep

  • A boy who was tangled in his life forever
Re: PM Boris Thread
« Reply #73 on: July 23, 2019, 05:11:20 PM »
Oh, and been meaning to say, why the fuck would I want to PM Boris anyway?

Alberon

  • His heart is an empty fridge
Re: PM Boris Thread
« Reply #74 on: July 23, 2019, 05:12:37 PM »
Oh, and been meaning to say, why the fuck would I want to PM Boris anyway?

To tell him he’s an oafish cunt?

Ambient Sheep

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Re: PM Boris Thread
« Reply #75 on: July 23, 2019, 05:13:41 PM »
True, there is always that.

Alberon

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Re: PM Boris Thread
« Reply #76 on: July 23, 2019, 05:13:59 PM »
Yes, that happened when May took over and look what happened then. Still, GRRRRR

Yougov had a few polls on the new PM today. Turns out he’s less popular than when May took over Number 10 a century and a half ago.

Re: PM Boris Thread
« Reply #77 on: July 23, 2019, 05:29:30 PM »
So he’s won power, but what does he do to keep it? Carrying on the same path will destroy him and he is neither that stupid or has any political beliefs he wouldn’t dump in a heartbeat out of self-preservation.

What’s his next few moves?

Whatever IBS and Patel and the ERG tell him to do

Kryton

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Re: PM Boris Thread
« Reply #78 on: July 23, 2019, 05:33:58 PM »
Who's resigned and defected so far then?

Anne Milton
Sir Alan Duncan
David Gauke (soon?)
Philip Hammond (soon?)
Rory Stewart (soon?)

Re: PM Boris Thread
« Reply #79 on: July 23, 2019, 05:37:42 PM »
Well, at least a no-deal Brexit is a lot less likely now. Boris is a venal fraud who lied his way into the office, he's not going to jeopardize that now by having an economic disaster blow up on his watch. I give it at most two weeks before the Orwellian doublespeak starts and Boris convinces his flock that they never actually wanted a no deal Brexit.

May was too weak to stop it because she was outflanked by Boris. The true believer ideologues (who, unlike Boris, actually care about Brexit) will fall into line now that Alpha Boris is there to bully them into submission.

This whole nightmare Brexit saga will turn out to have been a political charade to personally enrich and fulfill the ambitions of one man. There will be some kind of faux-Brexit "compromise" that he will pretend is a huge victory but that actually changes even less than May's deal. "This is what we wanted all along!" The silver lining to Boris finally getting the big prize.

(Bookmark this post for future reference)

Paul Calf

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Re: PM Boris Thread
« Reply #80 on: July 23, 2019, 05:41:36 PM »
Nah. It’s a nice idea but Johnson owes people for this, and they’re going to want their pound of flesh.

BlodwynPig

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Re: PM Boris Thread
« Reply #81 on: July 23, 2019, 05:48:10 PM »
Nah. It’s a nice idea but Johnson owes people for this, and they’re going to want their pound of flesh.

Bookmarked

Re: PM Boris Thread
« Reply #82 on: July 23, 2019, 05:57:58 PM »
Nah. It’s a nice idea but Johnson owes people for this, and they’re going to want their pound of flesh.

Boris is like Trump in that the only thing he cares about is himself. He will ignore any debts he owes or deals he made until and unless it jeopardizes his own reign as PM, and now that he's finally ensconced in that position the true believer Brexiters simply do not have the power to cause him real damage.

Boris is unlike Trump in that Trump is so politically naive that he thinks he actually has to do things like Build The Wall to keep his adoring fans chanting his name. Boris is a political animal, he knows he can do shit all and still manipulate the masses into believing he's on their side.

Cerys

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Re: PM Boris Thread
« Reply #83 on: July 23, 2019, 05:58:49 PM »
Ah shit they're playing that speech again.  DYOOD!

Just seen it for the first time.  He comes across as an ineffectual headmaster who's trying and failing to be down with the kids.  Expect obscene graffiti in the toilets before the day is out.

Re: PM Boris Thread
« Reply #84 on: July 23, 2019, 06:01:35 PM »
Nah. It’s a nice idea but Johnson owes people for this, and they’re going to want their pound of flesh.
troooooooope

PlanktonSideburns

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Re: PM Boris Thread
« Reply #85 on: July 23, 2019, 06:06:39 PM »
HILARIOUS REPLY from BolloxToBrexitHaters (@steakeater7)

They're self assembly you stupid CUNT

Ambient Sheep

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Re: PM Boris Thread
« Reply #86 on: July 23, 2019, 06:10:14 PM »
Anne Milton
Sir Alan Duncan
David Gauke (soon?)
Philip Hammond (soon?)
Rory Stewart (soon?)

When and how the fuck did Alan Duncan get a knighthood?!

Quote from: Wikipedia
in September 2014, for services to international development and to UK–Middle East relations.

Okaaaayyy...

Quote from: Wikipedia
While on the backbenches, Duncan served on the Intelligence and Security Committee between 2015 and 2016.

Hmmm.

FerriswheelBueller

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Re: PM Boris Thread
« Reply #87 on: July 23, 2019, 06:13:30 PM »
Just saw the news, I fucking despair.

Take solace in the fact he’ll do an awful job and it’ll be a disaster, but still.

Disgusted with the whole process. I don’t want to rub it in, but I am genuinely glad I live in Canada. Sorry folks. Maybe it’ll all be alright.

Re: PM Boris Thread
« Reply #88 on: July 23, 2019, 06:16:59 PM »
Fuck this stupid fucking country. Glad global warming will kill us all soon.

Re: PM Boris Thread
« Reply #89 on: July 23, 2019, 06:17:46 PM »
His next move is to get Farage and his lot on side, move the big tent to the right, and possibly shake a big stick at parliament with media bullyboys and Legend Garys in yellow vests.