How many Krankies were there?

[Replies From View]

Think they're performing at today's prestigious Essar Forecourt Trader of the Year awards.

They're not booked though.

We need a bit more forewarning in this thread.  If you know of any Krankies performances taking place before the day they are due to do it, please share in advance ok cheers

Sorry to sound tetchy but I am gutted to be missing this

[NJ Uncut]

We need a bit more forewarning in this thread.  If you know of any Krankies performances taking place before the day they are due to do it, please share in advance ok cheers

Sorry to sound tetchy but I am gutted to be missing this

I know you hunger for the live experience, but when the event kicks off I'm sure you'll be able to stream the whole shebang.

Whether or not the Krankies appear on camera is another matter however. Rumour has it they might perform at tomorrow's UK Broker Awards, which are the leading platform for national recognition within the insurance broker market.

Again, not booked.

[Shoulders?-Stomach!]

Cancer Krankie

I laughed

[Shoulders?-Stomach!]

Pulmonary Embolism Krankie
Genital Herpes Krankie
Cystic Fibrosis Krankie
Tertiary Stage Phimosis Krankie
Buried Penis Syndrome Krankie
Progeric Burns Victim Krankie
Acne Scar Sleep Apnoea Krankie
Morbid Obesity and Foreskin Microlesion Krankie
Distended Colon Krankie
Dysentery and Klippel-Feil Syndrome Krankie
Downs but he's a knob Krankie
Gazza Krankie
Microbrewery and Still Room Krankie
Familial Rape Krankie
Botched Collagen Krankie
Venereal Disease Krabkie
Spina Bifida Pederasty Krankie
Bestiality Krankie
Goblin Hamburgers in Krankie
Bedsore Warcraft Autism Fungal Spores Krankie
Hideous Deformity Krankie
AIDS Krankie
Extra-marital Shrew Torturer Krankie
Perpetual Vomit Machine Krankie
Plague Carrying Krankie
Gassed Krankie
Bigot Psoriasis Krankie
Foetal Alcohol Syndrome Krankie
Doncaster Mothercare Prescription Drugs Krankie
Pearly Penile Papules Krankie
Ebola Krankie
Online Grooming Krankie
Osteoporosis 1 Krankie 0
Locked in Krankie
Bookkeeper of Auschwitz Krankie
Fratricide Krankie
Testicular Torsion Libertarian Krankie
Halitosis Chip Shop Krankie
Adult Nappy Krankie
Permabelm Lego Krankie
Predatory Paedophile Krankie
Coprophilia Jenga Krankie
Rubbish Krankie
Big time life over Krankie
Krank-zilla
Wankers Cramp Serial Leisure Centre Masturbator Krankie
Beslan Holidaymaker Krankie
Bathtub Shit and Pisser Krankie
Irredeemable Rectal Hole From Beconsfield Krankie
Stain Krankie
Polyp Ridden Diarrhoea Krankie
Condemned Krankie
Absolute Surface Devastation Krankie
Grave based Krankie
Divorce Proceedings Krankie
Irreversible incontinence Krankie
Poo Particles Krankie
Precum Harvester Krankie
Official Receivership Krankie
Pallid Felisgender Krankie
Bowel Void Krankie
Total Asset Seizure Krankie
Slurry Silo Krankie
Horse Lasagne Krankie
Failed Hygiene Inspection Krankie
NAMBLA West Midlands Branch Treasurer Krankie
Trafficker Krankie
Shart Exponent Krankie
Crippling Chronic Pain Krankie
Jaded Pansex Krankie
Asda Cashier Krankie
Smegma Aroma Krankie
Mangled Roadkill Krankie
Pork Renderer Krankie
Racist Haulier Krankie
Incest Gloam Krankie
Botulism Bogies Arthritis Club foot cleft pallette sandwich artist Krankie
Rape Krankie

[NJ Uncut]

Why's it not ARE there

Was there some kind of Krankie holocaust?

[Replies From View]

There was some tall fucker on News 24 just now saying he was going to take some time out tomorrow morning to eat "Rice Krankies with milk" for breakfast.

Leaving aside his height, I have to ask whether he was simply turning "Krispies" into "Krankies" there for some kind of effect because - and correct me if I am wrong - I'm not convinced that there is such a breakfast option of "Rice Krankies" on the menu at all, and I can't even stretch my wits to fathom what a breakfast with this name could possibly be if it were to be forced into existence tomorrow.  I'd wager it's a superficial name change and nothing more, and I doubt Kellogg's have anything to do with it.

The two other aspects of this tall wanker's obnoxious statement that I would like to take issue with next week are the concepts of "taking time out" to have breakfast (fuck off!) and the decision to add the superfluous extra information "with milk" when you are talking about eating any given breakfast cereal (no need!).


So anyway fuck him and whatever AIDS has made him into such a raging cunt.  What a waste of vital human organs that could be harvested for use in a deteriorating non-cunt.

[Cuellar]

THE Krankie. The Ur-Krankie, older than time.

[Cuellar]

There is but one Krankie. An unknowable, distant Krankie whence all other Krankies emanate. The Krankies we know in this world are merely emanations from The Krankie, and while millennia of official doctrine has painted these beings as benevolent, they are in fact malevolent demiurges, simple engineers but vain, so they created us to worship them.

[Glebe]

Amos Krankie lives in Staffordshire and owns a tractor.

[Replies From View]

There was actually once a Saint Krankie believe it or not

[NJ Uncut]

There was actually once a Saint Krankie believe it or not

I think you're blindly accepting the legend of Archduke Drake Krankie as given - it's palpable fact that myriad religious media simply hyped his actual contribution to the church to the point the scriptures circulated by certain latter-day denominations were taken as saying things simply unfounded in the actual Gospels.

Sure, if you're a Methodist, your local church might have exorbinant coloured panes that honour his splayed, suffering frame, there for all of us; but that's merely fringe doctrine.

I can't blame you for being brainwashed by centuries of dogmatic beguilement, but when push comes to shove, the actual canon of saints simply does not include Sir Anthony of Krankie, and the latter Archduke is merely a similarly-named benefactor from a much later medieval era.

[Glebe]

As far as I am aware there are only 5,000 Krankies. Any more would be outrageous!

[George White]

Yeah mate, I know there's Ian and Jimmy, but didn't there used to be loads of other Krankies? I'm sure on like the Royal Variety Performance, they'd come out on stage in a line, holding each others hands?

Was there a Nelson Krankie who lived on a houseboat and had a fat leg, and Ian Krankie would throw empty bottles of Stella at him or am I thinking of something else?

What are your memories of other Krankies? I can't be wrong about this.

There was Granny Krankie, Ian's mum who had a distinct resemblance to her son, and Jessie Krankie, Jimmy's identical twin sister.
And Dr. Why.

[Gregory Torso]

Whenever someone views this thread,
Another Krankie crowns its head.

[a duncandisorderly]

krankie dettori

[Gregory Torso]

Shitty Krankie, the wee fuckin krankies-tier Krankie

[Gregory Torso]

Shabba Krankie
Heron Krankie
Ian Puffin

[Replies From View]

You may be curious to learn that there was only ever one morbidly obese Krankie, who weighed over 40 stone in bed.

[petril]

Krankie Demus but crucially not Pliers

[Alberon]

In essence, aren't we all in some way a Krankie?

[Fishfinger]

I was at one of their parties once and I wanted to count, but it was hard to tell where one Krankie began and another ended.

[Fishfinger]

.

Edit Bug Krankie

[Replies From View]

In essence, aren't we all in some way a Krankie?

No, not in essence at least.  Maybe some other ways.

[Ferris]

We need a bit more forewarning in this thread.  If you know of any Krankies performances taking place before the day they are due to do it, please share in advance ok cheers

Sorry to sound tetchy but I am gutted to be missing this

Sounds like you're not on the Krankie mailing list mate, so yeah, mate, I'll just tell you all the secret Krankie news that you're not privy to. Why don't I go ahead and send you my limited edition Krankie Klub membership card and keychain as well?

Twat.

[George White]

There's also the International League of Krankies.

From Mexico, El Chavo Del Ocho and his friends



Ireland had the late Brendan Grace who despite his late entry into the priesthood, had acquired legendary status as "Bottler".



England had the Clitheroe Kid, and Terry Scott's Penfold.