Fire Emblem: Three Houses

[The Boston Crab]

This is getting very strong reviews for the most part. It seems to take the SRPG elements of previous FE games (none of which I've played) and combine it with a load of fannying around socialising and having cups of tea with your mates and trying to hump anything that moves like in Persona. I don't like the sound of any of that really but it's way way too hot to be playing arcade games and all that shite and flipping my lid over some 90s Cave shooter because I got sweat in my eyeball on stage two and I threw the arcade stick through the telly.


Anyway, I heard this was only 40 quid on cdkeys so off I goes. Search...yessss! 40 quid. I'll have that. Fuck the eShop. PayPal. Cheers. Immediate email confirmation. Where's the code? Download. Ace. Get on that eShop. Redeem the cunner. Brilliant. It works! Download.


Fire Emblem


Warriors


Just gonna put my feet up, sit back and have a nice mug of belm formula.

[bgmnts]

Fire Emblems are always top aren't they? Never played one but they just look ace.

[Kelvin]

I've always wanted to play a home console Fire Emblem game, but - and I know as a Nintendo gamer, I'm meant to find comments like this derisory - I just think it looks like dogshit smeared on a screen. The cutscenes look alright, but the fights in particular look so, so ugly in videos.

I also think the stuff about meeting, socialising with, and training students looks fussy and boring compared to the strategy stuff. The writing would have to be really great to elevate that kind of stuff.   

I'll probably wait till I've heard a bit more about it from newbs like yourself Bosto before taking the plunge. The reviews are encouraging, though.

[Timothy]

Heads up for anyone who bought this or wants this. Dont go to Kotaku and read their review. They managed to spoil the ending. They now changed it but loads of angry comments still talking about it underneath.

Avoid Kotaku if you want to enjoy this game.

[Kelvin]

Actually, I've just remembered that my post above was pretty much exactly how I felt about Xenoblade Chronicles on the switch before I bought it, and I ended up really liking that game, so maybe I just need to get over myself.

[The Boston Crab]

Cheers, Tim. I had read a couple of reviews so will swerve Kotaku.

And Kelv, yeah, I'm always prepared to give any Nintendo first party stuff a go, especially on the Switch. Even if they're not for me, they're still really good games and maybe one day my kid or nephew or niece will play them. That's how I justify these things to myself, you see.

Having watched some more reviews, I do feel like a bit of a fool, not only for mistakenly buying Fire Emblem Warriors first like a complete helmet, but because all the strategy combat stuff is so boring to me, like a board game or some shit. Move two squares and roll the dice to see if you get crit damage and stack blah blah blah. I just want to chat up some fit birds and take them to lunch and watch some anime cutscenes. Do I even want that? I dunno. But anyway, I have two brand new Fire Emblem games ready to go so I'll report back.

Maybe it's time for me to learn to enjoy games which require a bit of patience again. I have to say that my recent playthrough of FF7 is one of the best gaming experiences I've had in ages and ages. I've also been playing the Resi HD remake which has also been really good fun so I'm getting back into stuff where you soak up the world rather than just pure arcade stuff. It's been...nice, to be honest.

[madhair60]

series used to be good now it's pure toilet tbh.

[The Boston Crab]

It's actually started really well. The characters and dialogue are almost spina bifida tier which is much better than I expected. Music and cutscenes are gorgeous. The music reminds me of Octopath Traveler which is a good thing because the music was probably the best thing about that game.

The battle stuff also seems to make sense to me, nicely explained so far. I've never really played any of these move some squares games but yeah, nice start.

[madhair60]

More like Fire Enbelm.

[Twed]

GAL*GUN

[madhair60]

Not entirely dissimilar to what Fire Emblem has become, frankly.

[Consignia]

I'm interested, but don't really have the time at the moment and Mario maker is really picking up any slack. Not really played any of the series, but previously have seen it's a bit like advance wars, which was ace. Really not digging the fantasy theme, which is another point against.

GAL*GUN

Don't you just hate it when accidently put your password into another window.

[Thursday]

Wouldn't mind having a tactical RPG like this, but it just looks TOO embarrassingly anime. Like if your mum walked in on you playing this, you'd be embarrassed because she'd think you're a loser for being into something so lame and uncool.

[The Boston Crab]

It's actually a lot less anime than I expected. It's all quite wholesome and charming. It's much much much much much less of a state than Xenoblade Chronicles 2 and although that ain't saying much, it's a fact. The biggest tart in the game is another professor, it seems. Hope I can turn her lesbian and shag her. It's all wholesome, good natured stuff, though.

I mean, if we're talking anime, it's a lot less pervy than Haruhi (which I did and do love) and definitely at the mild, slice of life end of things.

[bgmnts]

Wouldn't mind having a tactical RPG like this, but it just looks TOO embarrassingly anime. Like if your mum walked in on you playing this, you'd be embarrassed because she'd think you're a loser for being into something so lame and uncool.

There is a game called Eternal Sonata which is very anime-ish to me with the visuals and the voice acting but its bloody lovely and about Chopin.

[Kelvin]

Wouldn't mind having a tactical RPG like this, but it just looks TOO embarrassingly anime. Like if your mum walked in on you playing this, you'd be embarrassed because she'd think you're a loser for being into something so lame and uncool.

Time to move out of her spare room.

[The Boston Crab]

This is my favourite new game in ages. I've been looking to sink my teeth into a more patient kind of thing and indulge in some laziness and chilled gaming. It's like the exact opposite of Dodonpachi or something but it's great. I actually feel happy that I can still enjoy games like this. It's just a great place to inhabit, chatting to students and colleagues and lying to people to try to make them like me.

[The Boston Crab]

This is potentially my GOTY somehow. I can't tell you how good it is. It's so good at pushing your buttons with some new thing you learn or skill or developing a bond which makes someone more motivated to do such a thing which then in turns has a particular knock-on effect and leads to some new dialogue tree and deepens a back story and so on. It's all in service to everything else in the game, layers upon layers and it all works beautifully. I find the idea of all this stuff in Persona really stressful because I feel like I'm constantly closing as many doors as I open whereas here it seems like it's bountiful as fuck. Love this game.

[Kelvin]

BUT NINTENDO HAVE NO GOOD GAMES OUT THIS YEAR!!!!

[The Boston Crab]

First half has been full immunodeficient but since SMM2, it's all looking pretty rosy. If Astral Chain is somewhere near the level of Mario Maker and this then it's going to be a monster summer. DxM still looks a bit plodding but I might be wrong. Not into any of the other stuff, Luigi and that, but it's been a great couple of months.

On that note, my character has started chatting up all the straight women and female students and seems to be starting to turn some of them which is incredibly problematic, like you can just charm someone into being a lesbian by showering them with gifts and attention and telling them what they want to hear. GOTY.

[Consignia]

I folded and bought it. I do really like the battles, they are aestically pleasing to look at, and they play like a smoother version of Advance Wars. It's simple yet complex, and they are great fun.

Unfortunately, the pace is frequently punctured by the info dumps and school life sections. Now, I do really like Persona games, and their off times. But I feel they make the link between the RPG "action" sections and personal life better, since you need to understand people's inner demons by interacting with them before you phyiscally go and fight their demons. In Fire Emblem, the people you are supposed to meet with and get to know have meaningless links to the toy soldiers on the battle field.

And I can't stand the fantasy medieval theme either. As soon as the characters start talking about the Alfreidos of Lughshire or whatever, I completely tune out.

In all, I am enjoying it, but I still would prefer an Advance Wars game on the Switch. Although following this, it'd probably end up being set in a military school where you must conquer your opponents hearts and in battle.

[The Boston Crab]

Having put thirty odd hours into this now, somehow, I would really disagree that the combat and missions have few links and much less so that they're meaningless. There's a weight to many of the characters' back stories which sets up the events and side missions in a much more significant and nuanced way than in my experience of Persona 5 (the only one I've played). In fact, the narrative and dialogue here is making P5 seem very frivolous and simplistic in comparison. Admittedly, I only played 20 hrs or so of P5 so it may well open up as this has done, but I found little to grab me there. I'm not looking forward to finishing this, as such, but I am really looking forward to playing through with the other two houses and building up relationships and learning the stories of the rest of the roster. I really didn't expect it to be replayable and I assumed much of the repayable stuff would be padding but it really will be another twenty characters and stories to learn about.

I really didn't think I'd be up for this at all so I'm very happily surprised at how much it's got under my skin.

[Kelvin]

You've definitely persuaded me to get this. I've been wanting to hear what a fellow newbie to the series thought of it - whether it was too complicated, poorly explained, etc - and it sounds like you've not had those problems.

I'm still making levels in Mario Maker, but I reckon I'll get this in a couple of weeks. I've been very surprised by how well it was received.

[brat-sampson]

Really struggling to choose between this and Dragon Quest Builders 2. Both seem super jolly and chill, and while I've no real proclivity towards SRPGs or building stuff, they're both getting loads of review along the lines of no, I know mate, but *this* one's amazing, trust me.

I tried FE Fates but kinda bounced off it. Builders 2 seems charming and satisfying in that constant dopamine reward for completing relatively non-complex challenges, collect these, build a This, now you can build a That all while guided by actual plot and writing and Dragon Quest charm.

3 Houses is probably more serious and challenging. Is there a lot of micro-management? I usually can't stand that and just get decision paralysis over whether I should give this guy a better sword or that girl more HP or who to focus on with this resource etc...

[The Boston Crab]

Not really, no. You've got options but it's up to you how complicated you want to make things.

DQB2 sounded tempting but I also heard that you hit points where it's very grindy and slow. Might get it in a sale but it sounds like a job, really. I can't bear all that clicker stuff.

[brat-sampson]

Fine, I'm in.

What gaggle of delinquents did folks choose to foster then? Pretty boy, Girl, or Hero?

[The Boston Crab]

The White Power Tory boy.

[Kelvin]

The White Power Tory boy.

Finally, some representation in gaming.

[Twed]

Don't you just hate it when accidently put your password into another window.

It's GAL*GUN69 actually. You're supposed to have a symbol and a number.

[brat-sampson]

This is definitely great. It's word that they essentially took what would have been manually going over your units and adjusting their equipment, skills, development etc and turned that process into a physical space combined with reams of vocalised script and animations. And it works. It makes everything feel more natural, more motivated and more engrossing, for me at least.

It's a lot to take in at first, but I like that everyone kinda has their default goals and if you want you can just leave them to it. If they happen to start leaning into a specialisation they'll come and ask if you want them to specialise. It's genius. It's also a bit dumb, sure, but it's genius.

I'm still going to end up anxious that I'm behind the curve, and having to choose between exploration/motivation boosting/item collection, extra learning or leveling up each week is always a tough choice. I just got given a motivation to Rest, too, so... Yeah. But because everything is beneficial, I never feel like I fucked up too bad, plus on regular difficulty, they game's not been too hard so far, even speaking as someone with little experience in the genre who never even got that far in an xcom or Advance Wars.

I like a lot of the characters more than I expected to as well. Not sure how I'm supposed to be attracting other students as well and optionally motivating my own, but as my teacher rank goes up that should get easier. I also went with the BluBois and have to say now, I like them all. I didn't like Felix at first, because he's this aggressive spiteful little shit, but then there was a level where his attack speed was high enough to get double hits on basically everycunt and he shredded the fuckers. I think he took out like three enemy units on one enemy turn. So after that, I was like, ok, I get it. You just do your own thing. You're still my guy.

I know there's a lot more to come, but my first ten hours have been very positive, even if most of that was probably spent hauling ass around the monastery with my arms out of my sleeves like a prick.