Author Topic: Winnie the Pooh's fighting prowess  (Read 781 times)

Winnie the Pooh's fighting prowess
« on: July 31, 2019, 06:34:49 PM »
So I was wondering about this, which cast member of Winnie the Pooh would be able to come closest to defeating Dwayne 'The Rock' Johnson in one on one combat. Settings are 1) In a wrestling ring, no outside intervention, and 2) The Hundred Acre Wood.

Lordofthefiles

  • A dog with two dicks or a dick with two dogs
Re: Winnie the Pooh's fighting prowess
« Reply #1 on: July 31, 2019, 06:56:42 PM »
The kangaroo one.
I've seen real life boxing kangaroos, and let me tell you, they fucking go like the clappers.

The brutality is funny at first but they don't let up until they've given their combatant a bloody good howking.

Re: Winnie the Pooh's fighting prowess
« Reply #2 on: July 31, 2019, 07:18:39 PM »
Eeyore is too depressed to die, so it would be a real war of contrition but he'd emerge the victor.

PlanktonSideburns

  • be outta here in a jiffy
Re: Winnie the Pooh's fighting prowess
« Reply #3 on: July 31, 2019, 07:23:58 PM »
Yeah that donkey would just slowly disassemble you like Vincent Vaughan in Brawl in Cell block 99, occasionally pausing to pull bits of your shattered teeth out of its haunch - shooting you a withering look for the dull ache of your existence necessitating this particular expenditure of time and energy

Cuellar

  • She was having sly love with a midnight creeper
Re: Winnie the Pooh's fighting prowess
« Reply #4 on: July 31, 2019, 07:42:24 PM »
Tigger is the obvious choice yes, but he's the obvious choice for a reason.

PlanktonSideburns

  • be outta here in a jiffy
Re: Winnie the Pooh's fighting prowess
« Reply #5 on: July 31, 2019, 08:30:04 PM »
yea hed fold like a paper bag, the chirpy little prick. id rip him out of the air and dash him on the nearest rock, - the sheer horror of his bits facing the wrong way body would stun that little fucking piglet cunt, freeze him to the ground, so i could just walk up to him and wring his dear little neck, pooh would be next, i feel like that would take a bit more work, but im fit right now, and i think i would want it more, ive just found out im to be a father, and i feel like this information would really positively effect my outlook

PlanktonSideburns

  • be outta here in a jiffy
Re: Winnie the Pooh's fighting prowess
« Reply #6 on: July 31, 2019, 08:31:47 PM »
id burst Christopher robin like a twee ballon under my boots after that

are there more characters? not read the books in a while

hamfist

  • Furry Asscandy
Re: Winnie the Pooh's fighting prowess
« Reply #7 on: July 31, 2019, 09:03:30 PM »
The Rock will lose by falling into Pooh‘s Heffalump trap.

There would already be a Heffalump in the trap.

It would fuck The Rock to death.

alan nagsworth

  • feel it in the belly like a yellow worm with teeth
Re: Winnie the Pooh's fighting prowess
« Reply #8 on: July 31, 2019, 09:57:32 PM »
I reckon Piglet has some hidden strength in him like Ichi the Killer where he gets all wimped out for most of his life and then one day all it takes is one bossy remark from that prick Rabbit and nnNNNGGGGHHFFUUCKKKUHHhh Piglet has axe-kicked the fussy big-eared cocksucker clean in half with a razor-heeled boot and spunked all over a nearby unwashed brassiere.

non capisco

  • Going through the motions like a champ.
Re: Winnie the Pooh's fighting prowess
« Reply #9 on: August 01, 2019, 12:38:10 AM »
Winnie The Pooh would just be wedged in a tree hollow with his fat aris sticking up in the air as usual, a yellow beacon for unscrupulous woodland sodomites.

Eeyore is now too busy slowly expressing his droll opinions about Noel Edmonds on the niche UK podcast Chart Music.

What else is there in Winnie The Pooh? A snake? I dunno.

hamfist

  • Furry Asscandy
Re: Winnie the Pooh's fighting prowess
« Reply #10 on: August 03, 2019, 09:29:19 AM »
There is also Rabbit‘s friend-and-relation „small“ who could crawl up The Rock‘s nostril and eat his organs from inside.