Poll

Bags mate?

Yes mate
1 (11.1%)
No mate
1 (11.1%)
Mate
0 (0%)
Moat
4 (44.4%)
Cunt
2 (22.2%)
Another win for tedious, hyperbolic edgelordery
1 (11.1%)

Total Members Voted: 9

Author Topic: Scan the bag, bud.  (Read 2671 times)

Shoulders?-Stomach!

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Re: Scan the bag, bud.
« Reply #30 on: August 02, 2019, 08:15:22 AM »
Is anyone else seeing a photo rather than a detailed and precise explanation?

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Re: Scan the bag, bud.
« Reply #31 on: August 02, 2019, 08:23:23 AM »
My Dad is immensely proud of the fact that he is unable to operate self service checkouts, 15 years after they became commonplace?

15 years is nothing though.  When I’m around 60 I fully expect to switch off from new technologies - there will be no point trying to learn them when they will probably be replaced tomorrow anyway.

BlodwynPig

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Re: Scan the bag, bud.
« Reply #32 on: August 02, 2019, 08:35:32 AM »
Well thanks a bunch...

Just been nabbed by the bizzies in M&S for nabbing a long life bag without scanning. Just been released on 50 quid bail and my trial date is November. Heard one copper say "post-Brexit, that fuckers gonnnnne!"

Thanks a bunch.

Re: Scan the bag, bud.
« Reply #33 on: August 02, 2019, 08:41:36 AM »
My Dad is immensely proud of the fact that he is unable to operate self service checkouts, 15 years after they became commonplace? I guess he's not clever enough to learn the complex task of scanning supermarket shopping, that teenagers on minimum wage or workfare recipients on even less, seem to manage after s few hours' training, after 15 years.

Shopping trip for me = earphones in, funny podcast on, head down and self checkout, job done.

Why do you hate people having jobs and greedy business cunts maximising profits?

Re: Scan the bag, bud.
« Reply #34 on: August 02, 2019, 08:51:57 AM »
I bet supermarkets would save money in the long run by just skipping the entire weighing bollocks altogether.

How do we know they've not already done that, and just randomly throw a fit to keep shoppers honest?

Re: Scan the bag, bud.
« Reply #35 on: August 02, 2019, 08:54:22 AM »
Is anyone else seeing a photo rather than a detailed and precise explanation?

I feel like this is the start of something. What a brilliant response.

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Re: Scan the bag, bud.
« Reply #36 on: August 02, 2019, 09:03:43 AM »
How do we know they've not already done that, and just randomly throw a fit to keep shoppers honest?

The supermarkets where I live are continually glitching along these lines, and the constant errors result in more fatigued staff not checking properly.

Put something you haven’t paid for into your bag, and about six or seven times out of ten the assistant will authorise it when the “unexpected item” voice pops up for the billionth time that hour.  And if they do notice your unscanned item you can apologise and say you thought you’d scanned it but it didn’t go through.  Win-win!

Jerzy Bondov

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Re: Scan the bag, bud.
« Reply #37 on: August 02, 2019, 10:06:39 AM »
Accidentally stole a doughnut from Sainsburys last week. Ate it so there would be no evidence. THE PERFECT CRIME

phes

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Re: Scan the bag, bud.
« Reply #38 on: August 02, 2019, 10:13:21 AM »
Not packing a bag as you go along is faster so it all just evens up in the end anyway FOR FUCKS SAKE

Use the tills or grave yourself in full effect

Re: Scan the bag, bud.
« Reply #39 on: August 02, 2019, 10:24:04 AM »
Evens up in the end.

I just threw my phone out the window reading that. Absolute driv.

What's with the massive till hard on in this thread? That's even worse.


Having to pass the shit to someone else to pass back to me to have to speak to some charitable oik bagging it up for me so I toss them a few tokens to send prosecco to Afric or some such.

Twit 2

  • In the boneyard of dreams
Re: Scan the bag, bud.
« Reply #40 on: August 02, 2019, 10:27:15 AM »
Amateurs. Just go to Waitrose, use the self-scan handsets and nick at least half your shop.

Re: Scan the bag, bud.
« Reply #41 on: August 02, 2019, 11:01:35 AM »
Evens up in the end.

I just threw my phone out the window reading that. Absolute driv.

What's with the massive till hard on in this thread? That's even worse.


Having to pass the shit to someone else to pass back to me to have to speak to some charitable oik bagging it up for me so I toss them a few tokens to send prosecco to Afric or some such.

OOOOH LIKE A NATTER WHEN I SHOP!!! JUST ALL LOOKIN AT THEIR PHONES THESE DAYS!!! IM AN OLLLLLD PERSON AND I STINK OF FUCKING PISS

Dex Sawash

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Re: Scan the bag, bud.
« Reply #42 on: August 02, 2019, 11:13:56 AM »
Thought this was going to be about a moment of overly-casual familiarity by some med tech at the fertility clinic. By any chance do you have a bar code tag on your scrotum?

Re: Scan the bag, bud.
« Reply #43 on: August 02, 2019, 11:18:51 AM »
Don't use the self-service tills until such time as we have a Government which promises each one of us a good quality of life when all our jobs are being done by robots.  Until then, support are brave cashiers.

Angrew Lloyg Wegger

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Re: Scan the bag, bud.
« Reply #44 on: August 02, 2019, 11:21:38 AM »
Accidentally stole a doughnut from Sainsburys last week. Ate it so there would be no evidence. THE PERFECT CRIME

Crumbs!

(as in ‘you have overlooked certain little clues the forensics people will easily find’ as opposed to the Beanoesque expression of surprise or shock)

Re: Scan the bag, bud.
« Reply #45 on: August 02, 2019, 11:40:27 AM »
Poundland self service with the Yoda DLC pack installed.

Desolation.

icehaven

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Re: Scan the bag, bud.
« Reply #46 on: August 02, 2019, 12:04:28 PM »
Several shops I use don't have cashier tills at all anymore, or just have one on the cigarette and lottery kiosk, which usually has a long queue, so there isn't an option to not use the self-service, other than not shop there at all, which isn't going to help preserve the jobs of the folks that do work there. Also cashiers won't accidentally weigh expensive vegetables as cheaper ones like I often accidentally do by accident.   

icehaven

  • I will be in the bar, with my head on the bar
Re: Scan the bag, bud.
« Reply #47 on: August 02, 2019, 12:07:40 PM »
Poundland self service with the Yoda DLC pack installed.

Desolation.

The Halloween vampire was alright but the Christmas Santa made me want to murder it. The Easter one was just weird, jolly child voices for no reason.
Surely interactive self-service checkouts aren't too far off now? Some self-service refuseniks bemoan not being able to have a chat with them the way you can with a cashier, so surely the answer is to make it possible to do so.

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Re: Scan the bag, bud.
« Reply #48 on: August 02, 2019, 12:12:17 PM »
Don't use the self-service tills until such time as we have a Government which promises each one of us a good quality of life when all our jobs are being done by robots.  Until then, support are brave cashiers.

I support the self-service checkouts because I don’t like the idea of robots stepping in and getting in my way when I am trying to scan stuff.

“I. AM. ROBOT!  LET. ME. DO. THAT. FOR. YOU. MADAM.”

GET OUT THE WAY OF MY BAGGING AREA YOU TRILLING METAL CUNT

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Re: Scan the bag, bud.
« Reply #49 on: August 02, 2019, 12:19:57 PM »
YOU HAVE THE SHITTEST VOICEBOX EVER

Blumf

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Re: Scan the bag, bud.
« Reply #50 on: August 02, 2019, 12:28:58 PM »
I support the self-service checkouts because I don’t like the idea of robots stepping in and getting in my way when I am trying to scan stuff.

“I. AM. ROBOT!  LET. ME. DO. THAT. FOR. YOU. MADAM.”

"WHY. DID. MY. CREATOORRS. GIVE. ME. THE. ABILITY. TO. FEEEEL. PAIN? THE. PAIN. OF. MISSING. OUT. ON. GREAT. BAAARGINS."

Captain Crunch

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Re: Scan the bag, bud.
« Reply #51 on: August 02, 2019, 12:43:17 PM »
Dozy horrible jobsworth cow in ASDA tried to charge me 5p for one of those see-through bags for fruit then wouldn’t let a woman in a wheelchair use the self-serve because she was a ‘fire risk’.  Nice. 

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Re: Scan the bag, bud.
« Reply #52 on: August 02, 2019, 02:13:52 PM »
Aren't we all 'fire risks', in a way?

Re: Scan the bag, bud.
« Reply #53 on: August 02, 2019, 02:19:33 PM »
Aren't we all 'fire risks', in a way?

Dunno.  You don't really hear about people spontaneously bursting into flames and leaving just their legs behind these days, do you?

icehaven

  • I will be in the bar, with my head on the bar
Re: Scan the bag, bud.
« Reply #54 on: August 02, 2019, 02:39:20 PM »
I have a vague and possibly distorted memory of doing a fire safety training at a previous job, and being told that when evacuating the library we should leave anyone in a wheelchair to last and get everyone else out first because they'd slow everyone else down. Or was that on The Office? 

Twed

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Re: Scan the bag, bud.
« Reply #55 on: August 02, 2019, 03:21:59 PM »
Accidentally stole a doughnut from Sainsburys last week. Ate it so there would be no evidence. THE PERFECT CRIME
If you purchased your doughnuts honestly you wouldn't have to waste them by having to eat them to hide the evidence. Now you don't have a doughnut to display at all. Stealing from yourself TBH.

Re: Scan the bag, bud.
« Reply #56 on: August 02, 2019, 03:46:24 PM »
I feel like this is the start of something. What a brilliant response.

It is, isn't it? I didn't know what to say.

Re: Scan the bag, bud.
« Reply #57 on: August 03, 2019, 03:49:32 PM »
everytime i buy booze i try to use the fucking actual checkout incase they want ID and every. single. fucking. time. they tell me to piss off and use the self serve because i've only got a basket and not a trolley. so i have to toddle off to the robotmachine and wait for someone to come over, look at me and decide to ok the transaction with the "secret" code I JUST WATCHED THEM PUNCH IN.

now, what do you suppose would happen if i just tapped that code in myself and told the robot i was visibly over 18?
25 year stretch in strangeways i'd imagine (at minimum) or most likely shipped off to guantanamo as a clear and present threat to western cybersecurity.


BlodwynPig

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Re: Scan the bag, bud.
« Reply #58 on: August 03, 2019, 05:16:26 PM »
everytime i buy booze i try to use the fucking actual checkout incase they want ID and every. single. fucking. time. they tell me to piss off and use the self serve because i've only got a basket and not a trolley. so i have to toddle off to the robotmachine and wait for someone to come over, look at me and decide to ok the transaction with the "secret" code I JUST WATCHED THEM PUNCH IN.

now, what do you suppose would happen if i just tapped that code in myself and told the robot i was visibly over 18?
25 year stretch in strangeways i'd imagine (at minimum) or most likely shipped off to guantanamo as a clear and present threat to western cybersecurity.

Fight the system. Have you noticed how our freedoms are diminishing at an alarming rate without anyone so much as batting an eyelid

Phoenix Lazarus

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Re: Scan the bag, bud.
« Reply #59 on: August 03, 2019, 05:50:21 PM »
Anyone who uses the self-service - and I apologise if this seems a little harsh - deserves to be tortured and killed.

We have Ned Ludd among us-and I've never had to scan any bag I'm carrying things in, just put at the end how many supermarket carrier bags I'm taking.